May 16, 1995, 11:13 pm Because she was sleeping on the sidewalk and wouldn’t wake up enough to stand and walk on her own, the cop arrested her. And when I stepped in and told him I would help her move someplace else, he arrested me. So, I sat in jail over night with her, she slept with her head on m...

What of us? Remembered in the end? Or, like cold ash after a fire long burned out, will we just waft away in a stiff breeze? And if life is to be only a blink in eternity’s eye, are we on its blind side? So, what of us? Is it necessary to do anything while alive? Should we just sleep with an ear aga...

December 23, 1998 2:22pm I’m watching the snow fall today as I sit writing in the big bay window, looking out into the forest that borders Russ and Tracie’s property. Here, the world disappears and Heaven descends to the Earth. All this whiteness, all this serenity, I feel like running from the hous...

October 10, 1993 11:52pm My sister, my beautiful Tracie turned 30 today. I went to Atherton to see her, stopping along the way to gather certain objects that I knew she would like; a music box, an angel figurine, and a chocolate brownie from her favorite bakery. When I entered her house, she was sit...

Christmas Day, 1986 1:02am It’s Christmas time again, that joyous time when all my family is home and gathered to celebrate the birth of our Lord. We have just come from midnight services, and I was privileged to sing my favorite Christmas song, O Holy Night, this year and after, read from the Bible...

December 23, 1998 2:22pm I’m watching the snow fall today as I sit writing in the big bay window, looking out into the forest that borders Russ and Tracie’s property. Here, the world disappears and Heaven descends to the Earth. All this whiteness, all this serenity, I feel like running from the hous...

April 28, 1983 11:09 pm I bet no one heard this one before. The one about the other places being gained by just nodding in their direction. The other places being so far away, so far. And if I had heard of them before all this, I probably would have just laughed and said, “that’s insane.” Insane. Be...

And I know this one has been posted a couple of times here, but I can think of no other entry that matches it for this moment in time. To my Mom from Uncle Steve... August 11, 2001 11:42pm My dear beautiful Tracie, My eyes grow weaker, this will be the last of my entries here. It is to you as all o...

May 19 or 20, 2001, time unknown, night, waking from a glorious dream… This time the stars appear closer, brighter. The moon in its dark must be the reason for their brilliance. Yet, there is more, the presence, the peace, the heart, the breath, the ambience of this living night, enwraps me. And I s...

August 3, 1998 2:47am I believe God takes us places in our dreams. He took me to one a moment ago. Finding the reason why, is beyond me. Maybe it was just to bring me a certain joy, and has no reason at all, only that it just is. Who can explain the ways of our God? Why show someone as unworthy as m...

November 18, 2000 1:12am Ah, how the beauty of some dreams expel the breath from me. What glorious gifts the Lord bestows. I walked along the River’s edge and the radiant light of Heaven shown all about me, wrapping me in it’s divine comfort. My body whole, my eyes all seeing, my heart full. My feet...

January 24, 1993 11:13PM I was at Tenderloin House tonight. The people, all in such despair, huddled in their coats as they ate. It was quiet, unusually quiet and my heart was heavy. There was a presence, a menacing awareness lurking around or above. I walked among the people, as I always did, talki...

September 17, 1990 11:08 AM Ah Anna! How I ache for you! Regret threatens to drag me under. I cry out your name in my dreams of loss. You are the first casualty of my illness, the first great grief. And my soul howls out the anguish as its mate is ripped away. I treasure the precious gift of you, lo...

May 24, 2001 2:03 am It’s a long way down. It’s a long way down from the high point and the crash dazes me. Almost, I see the ground coming before I hit. But, it’s illusion and I always hit way before I think I’m supposed to. If I flapped my arms, could I fly? No. Of course not. This is why there is...

August 15, 1986 3:17am The desert was hot. Hot and bright, and I lay under the sun on a stone and felt like I was baking alive. Four days had gone by and nothing. Nothing. Just the slow languish of late summer in the Arizona desert. By that time, I knew my family was probably beside themselves with ...

July 27, 1978 10:07pm Hi, My name is Stephen Clarke McKinney, but most people just call me Stevie, or sometimes “pooh bear”, which really gets on my nerves. I mean, it was cute when I was a baby, but I’m 9 now. Just turned 9 today! I guess it’s because I’m the baby of the family. I have two older si...

August 11, 2001 11:42pm My dear beautiful Tracie, My eyes grow weaker, this will be the last of my entries here. It is to you as all of it is, for no one else understands my heart, my soul, my pain, my desire for end, as well as you. We grew in spirit, you and I. My failing heart plays out all the m...

June 28, 1991 8:36pm Tracie, who bleeds out everything she has, brought over the new George Michael album today, saying I needed to hear a song on it. She knew it would speak to me, as it did her. There are times when songs and poems and phrases and bits of words run through our head in an effort to...

October 4, 1998 10:12 pm The way of worlds baffles me. My existence goes beyond my understanding. I, at times, feel pulled between them, and being in neither, yet being in both at once, I am inadequate. The evil courses through my physical self and my ethereal self. I’ve been in pain today. And I fe...

October 3, 1998 11:24pm Grey days happen more often than naught. I’ve passed by that place many times, coming and going, never really noticing how the greyness just lays along the sidewalk in front of it. But today, the sidewalk, the street, the other places, seemed more empty than usual. Even the G...