I'm sure I'm not the first to point this out ... Mordant's Need is like the inverse to TCTC. Rather than TC doubting whether his world (the Land) is real, Terisa doubts her own reality as a person. These are two sides of an existential crisis, being alienated from one's world and being aliented from one's self. Both have the same fundamental cause: inauthenticity. Not being true (to yourself or to the world).fernhold wrote:... I was comparing her to TC. There are some similarities and I kept referring to those in my mind. First; they’re both translated out of their own reality into a completely fantastic alter-reality. TC tries to hang on to his ‘reality’ stubbornly hanging on to the notion that this is all some dream. Terisa just dives right in not even blinking when thrust into this whole new world. TC tries to deny responsibility, refuses to act and is just basically a prick to everyone (at least at the beginning). Terisa picks sides right away; Eremis? Just because he fondled her on his couch she sides with him? Really? And for someone so timid about their own existence, she just accepts everything at face value. WTF???
Terisa doesn't really doubt her existence; she's not a solipsist. Her feeling of being unreal comes from her own passivity and her inability to find meaning in her life. That's relevance of the horns. The thrill of hearing the horns in her dream is a symbol of her capacity to discover value in the world. They make the moment more significant; they represent a sudden infusion of meaning and significance into an otherwise empty life. That's what she's looking for--not the answer to a philosophical or conceptual puzzle--but rather the experience of being alive, of being-in-the-world.
This is a classic existential problem: feeling insignificant, alienated, worthless, and pointless. And the solution is taking responsibility for your life, acting, deciding, valuing. At the beginning of the story, those are exactly what she has trouble doing. Her character arc is all about learning to acquire these skills/attitudes.
At first, she stumbles a bit. She "sides" with Eremis. But she doesn't do this merely because he fondles her boobs. It's not merely about sex. It's also about feeling real/meaningful/significant. It's about the thrill of the horns. Like most of us, Terisa at first confuses physical pleasure for this deeper, "spiritual" thrill. And while sex can indeed be "spiritual," with Eremis she is merely a passive object. A plaything. And yet there is still a bit of the truth in this illusion of meaning. After all, at least Eremis is paying attention to her, reinforcing her own reality to that extent--even if it's her objective reality (her body) that he's reinforcing, to the exclusion of her subjective reality (her mind, her feelings, her personhood). But it's more attention than she ever got from her father, so she's particularly vulnerable to this ploy precisely because she has always felt unreal and wanted to feel more. Thus, it's not merely about the physical sensations Eremis can produce. It's also about being wanted/needed/known. That's the "positive" side of her vulnerability to Eremis.
However, unfortunately, it's also about being seduced, being possessed, being objectified. Terisa is vulnerable to those negative aspects of sex just as much as she's vulernable to more positive ones--and Eremis is probably using the former aspects more than the latter. He is using her capacity for pleasure as a way to make her objectification agreeable. By using her need to "hear the horns" against her, he is getting her to agree to her own objectification. It's quite twisted and sinister, when you think about it in these terms: he's using the very thing she needs as a way to keep her from it. In fact, he's getting her to choose passivity and objectification because she can't seem to find the source of the horns, and settles for this cheap imitation instead.
And we all face this danger. There is something seductive in meaninglessness and passivity. You can begin to like it, even while you hate it. Drug abuse comes to mind--but it can apply to any distraction or diversion from your life. Because we are terrified of a universe without meaning and our powerlessness, we choose distractions that only amplify that meaninglessness and powerlessness. Absurd and ironic, we are indeed.