Wow samwise that was amazing!! I literally got goosebumps but not from what was going on behind Turam before the finish line .. but as Linna observed .. when you changed POV .. in the narrative.. it was then after you'd crossed that the chaos was revealed... THEN I got goosebumps..
Encore, encore .......More, more, more ...
Two minutes...go!
Moderators: deer of the dawn, Furls Fire
So true Sorus, same happens to me.Sorus wrote:I write a lot of stuff (longhand, on paper) that no one will ever see. For practice, and the necessity of getting it out of my head. A lot of What-was-I-thinking? moments reading it again years later, but that's what practice is good for.
Thanks skyweir glad you enjoyed that section.
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"I can't ask her to help next week."
"Then don't."
"Thanks. Some help you are," I said, as I turned on my heel.
"The reason you can't ask is that she will say yes whether she wants to or not, right?"
"Uhhhh, yeah."
I looked up at his face, plain and straightforward above a blue T-shirt.
"So instead you TELL her--"
"Oh, tell her to teach the kids next week? Because that will be so much better?"
"Think."
"Okay, okay. I am thinking, and the only think I thought of is that if I tell her at least it removes all illusion that she doesn't have to."
"Well, no."
"WHAT THEN?!?!?"
"Tell her what the problem is, but don't say anything about wanting someone to sub for you. Then-"
"-If she thinks of it, she CAN ask to help, but if she doesn't want to, there's no shame."
"Because you won't have asked her."
(about 4 mins. but maybe less than 5! mostly!)
"Then don't."
"Thanks. Some help you are," I said, as I turned on my heel.
"The reason you can't ask is that she will say yes whether she wants to or not, right?"
"Uhhhh, yeah."
I looked up at his face, plain and straightforward above a blue T-shirt.
"So instead you TELL her--"
"Oh, tell her to teach the kids next week? Because that will be so much better?"
"Think."
"Okay, okay. I am thinking, and the only think I thought of is that if I tell her at least it removes all illusion that she doesn't have to."
"Well, no."
"WHAT THEN?!?!?"
"Tell her what the problem is, but don't say anything about wanting someone to sub for you. Then-"
"-If she thinks of it, she CAN ask to help, but if she doesn't want to, there's no shame."
"Because you won't have asked her."
(about 4 mins. but maybe less than 5! mostly!)