ABC's of things you would like to say at work

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Sorus
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Post by Sorus »

Unfortunately, you appear to be living evidence of the fact that ignorance isn't bliss.

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aTOMiC
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Post by aTOMiC »

Very good. You managed to do two hours worth of work in eight hours time. That's a new record for you.
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Sorus
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Post by Sorus »

Why do you bother asking questions when you don't listen to the answer?

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aTOMiC
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Post by aTOMiC »

X? X!? Seriously?
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Khaliban
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Post by Khaliban »

You're talking into a pen.

Seriously. He was talking into a pen. It felt like the conch from Lord of the Flies. In the middle of a staff meeting, to show he had the floor, he was talking into a pen. And this was a conference call. Half of the people couldn't even see the pen. Didn't matter. He was talking into a bleeping pen.
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Post by aTOMiC »

Zones of silence, please. If you are going to listen to Gregorian Chants all day for heaven's sake wear your headphones and spare the rest of us.
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Sorus
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Post by Sorus »

Are you allergic to punctuation? I've seen more coherent writing in the comment section on YouTube.

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aTOMiC
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Post by aTOMiC »

Before you started working here there were eight people working in this department. Now there are three and if you don't start applying deodorant there will be two.
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sgt.null
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Post by sgt.null »

Choking you out would oh so complete my day.
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Post by Khaliban »

Didn't you have an appointment to ass-kiss?
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Post by sgt.null »

Eat my shorts, man.
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Post by aTOMiC »

For the first time in your life give a crap about your co workers and shut up.
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Sorus
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Post by Sorus »

Go on, please keep explaining how you could do my job better. In fact, why don't you give a demonstration? Wait just a minute, I need popcorn.

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aTOMiC
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Post by aTOMiC »

How on Earth have you manged to stay employed this long?
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Sorus
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Post by Sorus »

I'm going to need you to choose between eating and talking, since it's yet another way you fail at multitasking.

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aTOMiC
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Post by aTOMiC »

Justice would be served if you could manage to cease commiting the crime of bathing in obnoxious cologne.
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Post by Cord Hurn »

Kindly stand a few feet further away when talking to me so that I don't have to smell your halitosis.
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Post by sgt.null »

Look out, I quit
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Cord Hurn
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Post by Cord Hurn »

Money just isn't good enough to put up with this outfit any longer.
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sgt.null
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ABC's of things you would like to say at work

Post by sgt.null »

nuts! Add some additional info to this on our part and send back to me for review.
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