"The Last of Us": ABCs from the Watchpocalypse

[Wosbald]

+JMJ+

Immunity — that is, Immunity from infectious contagions — is something reserved for a small slice of the Watchpocalypse's unwashed masses. Immunity — that is, Absolute Supercosmic Immunity from all legal accountability — is something reserved for a small slice of the Watchpocalypse's public servants.

[Cord Hurn]

Juxtaposing time spent on the Watch with time doing all those other things in life demanding your attention just might explain why you are contributing to the decline of the Watch...or maybe not.

[Wosbald]

+JMJ+

Kellogg's is, curiously, one of the few industrial agribusinesses to survive The Fall. However, the substitution of slime mold stalks for now-extinct corn has made some staples of the breakfast table not so gr-r-reat.

[Cord Hurn]

^Love these posts that demonstrate Wosbald's quirky sense of humor, as always!

[sgt.null]

Mallorys survived.

[Wosbald]

+JMJ+

Nancy-Boys and other assorted wusses don't last long in the hardscrabble, high-stakes world of the Watch's testosterone-fueled future.

[sgt.null]

Organized raiding parties formed by remnants of the decimated society.

[Wosbald]

+JMJ+

Phytonutrition — the holistic science of "eating through the rainbow" — found itself accused of historical revisionism when its Watchpocalyptic practitioners were exposed as enjoining a diet constrained to a far more austere color palette.

[sgt.null]

Quasireligious orders pop up in burned out towns, survivors clinging to any hope.

[Wosbald]

+JMJ+

Radiation in all its myriad forms — from blast residuals to biogenerated mutant-abilities, from leaky powercells to ozone-depleted cosmic exposure — is a daily reality informing Watchpocalyptic life. Watch out (no pun intended) cuz it's gonna be a sunny one today, Watchers! Just like the day before. And the the day before that. And the day before that. And the day …

[sgt.null]

Survivors gathered at the cenotaph praying to the elder gods that abandoned them.

[Wosbald]

+JMJ+

Tropical Paradises far off the coasts of the Watch have become far less paradisiacal, being little more than abandoned rocky outcroppings subject to whatever punishments the indifferent elemental forces can mete out. Mostly abandoned, that is, seeing as recalcitrant, indigenous Island Watchers still eke out severe, marginal existences in the face of relentless chthonic and meteoric madnesses.

[sgt.null]

I am have become Death, destroyer of worlds

[Wosbald]

+JMJ+

Judo has become the martial art of choice amongst modern Stone Age Throwbacks defending the Watch's Overworld against the blind rage of the even-more retrogressive, subterranean Mutant Berserkers.

[Wosbald]

+JMJ+

Kelp. It's Soylent Green's primary ingredient. Trust us.

This message brought to you by your friends at the Corporation.

[Wosbald]

+JMJ+

Lappin' up whatever the local Tribal Warlord deigns to dish out, cuz such a moral-obsequity-cum-survival-mechanism is simply the brusque and brutal Way of the Watchpocalypse.

[Wosbald]

+JMJ+

Mutants. It's all ya gotta say to deflect every criticism.

• Whaddya say, again, ate yer homework? Mutants.
• Did you know you were speeding? Mutants.
• I thought you said you were quitting the Plutonian Nyborg. Mutants.

Mutants. They get around.

[Wosbald]

+JMJ+

Nuclearism — or "Nucularism" in the regional Dubbya patois — is a subversive mutantic cult currently experiencing explosive growth amongst disaffected surface-dwelling seekers. It's da bomb.

[Wosbald]

+JMJ+

Oumuamua — in its long, plaintive journey across the lightless abysm from its origin in the realm of the mad gods to its terminus at an Earth already wearied by a relentless assault of Watchpocalyptic crises — carried with it a psionic-wave signature activating a lunatic's catalogue of end-time evils from Androids to Zombies.

[Wosbald]

+JMJ+

Plutonian Heart Worship — an oriental import cult revolving (no pun intended) around the 9th Sphere's geoglyphic tattoo — experienced a widespread revival when said icy world's fortunes were, by Imperial Edict, reversed from the base indignities imposed by Dwarf Planet status to the the fulsome honors bestowed by classical Planetude.