Need Help

Post by **emotional leper** » Fri Jan 18, 2008 4:29 am

Please, feel free to add or correct this list.

The List of Rules of the Watch.

i. The following rule is false.
0. THOOLAH RULES!!!
0.5 DISREGARD THAT, I **** *****.
01. Do not talk about Nom.
02. Do NOT talk about Nom.
03. We are Linden's Army.
04. Linden's Army is Legion.
05. Linden's Army never forgives, unless you join.
06. Linden's Army can be an irrational, senseless, creepy monster.
07. Linden's Army is still able to deliver.
08. There are no real rules about posting (Except for all those rules we're not going to tell you about till you break them.)
09. There are no real rules about moderation either -- enjoy the LOLCATS.
10. If you enjoy any rival sites -- Wait a minute, what Rival Sites?
11. All your carefully picked arguments can easily be ignored in the Tank.
12. Anything you say can and well be misconstrued and used against you.
13. Strawman is an artform -- NOT!
14. Do not argue with Avatar. Period.
15. The longer your post is, the more likely it is to be dismissed with a one-liner.
16. If you fail in epic proportions, you may become Thomas Covenant.
17. Even Thomas Covenant loves Linden Avery eventually.
18. Everything that can be labeled will be hated.
19. THe more you hate Linden Avery in a thread, the more EL will post about her.
20. Nothing is to be taken seriously -- except this.
21. Original content is only original until one of us posts it over and over and over and over...
24. Every repost is always a repost of a GI question.
25. Relation to the original topic decreases with every single post.
26. The rate increases if the thread is in the Tank.
27. Any topic can easily be turned into Linden's sexuality.
28. NEVER question Linden's sexual preferences.
29. NEVER question Linden's gender.
30. On Kevin's Watch, Men are Men, Women are in Fantasy Bedtime Hour, and FBI agents are scared.
31. THOOLAH or Linden's Army -- the Choice is nonexistant.
32. You must have pictures to measure a tongue.
33. NOM!
34.
35. AAAAAH!
36. There is Porn of Linden Avery. Yes. I said it.
36a. If Porn of something can not be found, EL will create it, for a price.
37. Linden's Army does NOT forgive.
38. A LOLCat is fine, too.
39. One LOLCat leads to the 'A Picture is Worth a Thousand Words' thread.
40. The 'A Picture is Worth a Thousand Words' thread leads to SPAM.
41. SPAM SPAM SPAM SPAM SPAM SPAM SPAM SPAM, SPAMMITY SPAM! SPAMMITY SPAM!
42. I don't like Spam(r).
43. No matter what it is, Emotional Leper can get porn of it. No Exceptions.
44. It is delicious vitrim. You must drink it.
45. It is delicious aliantha. You must spit out the seed, tho'. KTHX.
46. Mallory's sucks today.
47. Staff of Law goes in here.
48. ???
49. Sunbane.
50. It needs more Bannor. No exceptions.
51. There will always be even more Linden than what you just read.
52. You can not laugh at Lepers.
53. No real limits of any kind apply here. Except for all the limits.
54. White Gold is Cruise Control for Puissant.
55. Even with Cruise Control you still have to aim away from Foamfollower. SSRY.
56. Bannor isn't funny.
56.5 Screw the paradox of free will and stuff. Don't let Foul Win.
57. Nothing is sacred to THOOLAH.
58. Or Foul.
59. Particularly THOOLAH, though.
60. The more beautiful and pure a thing is - the more satisfying it is to create a group called THOOLAH about it.
61. Even one positive comment about Linden makes you a Linden Lover.
62. When one sees a Sandgorgon, one mus- OH GOD MY LEGS!
63. There is always a giantish way to say it in over an hour.
64. The Hall of Gifts is always Raver-locked.
65. There's always a female version of a Male Character. She's called Linden Avery.
66. It's been dissected. To death. No exceptions.
67. It needs more Bannor. No exceptions.
68. Linden's army is nuts!
69. Aw frack!
70. Do not read previous line.
71. Hurtloam is not painfull mud.
72. Stonedowners can really rock you.
73. Woodhelveneners will not give you the brushoff.
74. Ur Dead's mind is mush!
75. Kresh meat is delicious. You must become it.
76. No shirt, No shoes, No Lice
77. Service enables me to be served
78. There is no escape from the List. No exceptions.
78a This means you, Menolly.
79. You must bring soap, not more dirt.
80. Gauze is not a weapon.
81. Confusion is not a strategy.
82. Doubt is not a healthsense.
83. Hedging is also not a weapon.
84. Linden Avery's choices are beyond question. No exceptions.
85. You no can has illearthstone shard.
86. The Forbidden Image is never to be linked, URL'd or pictured. Ever. Ever. Seriously. Ever. Ever. Ev. Er.

[edit]Last Updated Jan 18 07:13 GMT

Post by **Ur Dead** » Fri Jan 18, 2008 4:45 am

68. Linden's army is nuts!
69. Aw frack!
70. Do not read previous line.
71. Hurtloam is not painfull mud.
72. Stonedowners can really rock you.
73. Woodhelveneners will not give you the brushoff.
74. Ur Dead's mind is mush!

Post by **emotional leper** » Fri Jan 18, 2008 4:50 am

75. Kresh meat is delicious. You must become it.

Post by **Zenlunatic** » Fri Jan 18, 2008 5:02 am

76. No shirt, No shoes, No Lice
77. Service enables me to be served

Post by **emotional leper** » Fri Jan 18, 2008 5:13 am

78. There is no escape from the List. No exceptions.
78a This means you, Menolly.

Post by **The Laughing Man** » Fri Jan 18, 2008 5:40 am

79. You must bring soap, not more dirt.
80. Gauze is not a weapon.
81. Confusion is not a strategy.
82. Doubt is not a healthsense.
83. Hedging is also not a weapon.

Post by **emotional leper** » Fri Jan 18, 2008 5:52 am

84. Linden Avery's choices are beyond question. No exceptions.
85. You no can has illearthstone shard.

YouTube · Post by **Menolly** » Fri Jan 18, 2008 6:46 am

Esmer wrote: 81. Confusion is not a strategy.

Confusion will be my epitaph.
As I crawl a cracked and broken path
If we make it we can all sit back
and laugh.
But I fear tomorrow I'll be crying,
Yes I fear tomorrow I'll be crying.

Post by **The Laughing Man** » Fri Jan 18, 2008 6:52 am

nice M.

we forgot the one rule before all other rules:

0. THOOLAH RULES!!!

INFINITY RULE!

Post by **emotional leper** » Fri Jan 18, 2008 7:07 am

i. The following rule is false.
.5 DISREGARD THAT, I **** *****.

Post by **balon!** » Fri Jan 18, 2008 7:11 am

86. The Forbidden Image is never to be linked, URL'd or pictured. Ever. Ever. Seriously. Ever. Ever. Ev. Er.

Post by **Wyldewode** » Fri Jan 18, 2008 4:43 pm

87. All pillow-fighting must be done in sexy pajamas.

Post by **The Laughing Man** » Fri Jan 18, 2008 6:40 pm

Balon wrote:86. The Forbidden Image is never to be linked, URL'd or pictured. Ever. Ever. Seriously. Ever. Ever. Ev. Er.

the forbidden image may actually be a fake, but in actuality it can really happen. THINK ON THAT AND BE DISMAYED!!!

Post by **DukkhaWaynhim** » Fri Jan 18, 2008 7:22 pm

88. There can only be 75 rules.

dw

Post by **Cagliostro** » Fri Jan 18, 2008 7:32 pm

89. Cavewight hands will bury you.

YouTube · Post by **Menolly** » Fri Jan 18, 2008 7:57 pm

DukkhaWaynhim wrote:88. There can only be 75 rules.

dw

*whew*

Then I am safe...

Post by **emotional leper** » Sat Jan 19, 2008 1:09 am

Esmer wrote:
Balon wrote:86. The Forbidden Image is never to be linked, URL'd or pictured. Ever. Ever. Seriously. Ever. Ever. Ev. Er.
the forbidden image may actually be a fake, but in actuality it can really happen. THINK ON THAT AND BE DISMAYED!!!

No. It's not true. There is no known disease that can do that.

Also.

90. DO NOT STARE INTO SUNBANE WITH REMAINING EYE.

Post by **The Laughing Man** » Sat Jan 19, 2008 2:42 am

Spoiler
The genus Dermatobia contains only one species, D. hominis, the only species of bot fly that attacks humans (in addition to other primates). It is also known as the torsalo.

Post by **emotional leper** » Sat Jan 19, 2008 3:06 am

Esmer, that image is not of the Human Bot Fly. That Image is made using a photoshopping of sunflower seeds.

Post by **The Laughing Man** » Sat Jan 19, 2008 3:13 am

the forbidden image may actually be a fake, but in actuality it can really happen