Need Help

[Wyldewode]

So. . . what comclusion did you arrive at?

[MsMary]

15. The longer your post is, the more likely it is to be dismissed with a one-liner.

Truer words were never spoken. When a post is long, my eyes just tend to glaze over.

[MsMary]

91. One Rule to rule them all, One Rule to Find Them, One Rule to bring them all and in the darkness bind them.
In Emotional Leper's mind, where the Shadows lie.

Indeed.

[sgt.null]

436. null

[emotional leper]

So. . . what comclusion did you arrive at?

I don't know what you're insinuating.

Please, show me

[Wyldewode]

I still hold to my argument on perspective.

It's okay. I'll still think of you what I think of everyone else in the morning, Cag.

This. . . this is what I was talking about.

[emotional leper]

I still hold to my argument on perspective.

It's okay. I'll still think of you what I think of everyone else in the morning, Cag.

This. . . this is what I was talking about.

English is too multivalued.

Do you speak Loglan?

(Also, as to what I think of people:

We are base, vile, selfish creatures crawling on the face of the Earth. But every now and then, if we're smart enough, or try hard enough, or are lucky enough, we can do something that is not absolute, pure evil. )

[Menolly]

(Also, as to what I think of people:

We are base, vile, selfish creatures crawling on the face of the Earth. But every now and then, if we're smart enough, or try hard enough, or are lucky enough, we can do something that is not absolute, pure evil. )

Who on the rare occasion, show Love.

Even you.

[emotional leper]

(Also, as to what I think of people:

We are base, vile, selfish creatures crawling on the face of the Earth. But every now and then, if we're smart enough, or try hard enough, or are lucky enough, we can do something that is not absolute, pure evil. )

Who on the rare occasion, show Love.

Even you.

There is only one being in this world I could be properly and correctly said to love.

And that is my dog.

I give my dog unconditional love, because it gives the exact god damn same to me.

I no longer give my love to human beings. None of them deserve it.

[Menolly]

I did not imply that you show Love to your fellow humans.
Just that you occasionally show it.
For I have...can one say reading a PM or IM is hearing something...whatever, for I have heard it from you in the things you have said.

[Cagliostro]

So, EL, do you need it reciprocated to give love? Don't you know that the purest kind of love is that which is not returned?


At least that is what I keep writing to all the ladies I'm stalking.

[Wyldewode]

So, EL, do you need it reciprocated to give love? Don't you know that the purest kind of love is that which is not returned?


At least that is what I keep writing to all the ladies I'm stalking.

I told you to stop writing me already!

[Cagliostro]

So, EL, do you need it reciprocated to give love? Don't you know that the purest kind of love is that which is not returned?


At least that is what I keep writing to all the ladies I'm stalking.

I told you to stop writing me already!

But I know you'll love me eventually. I just have to keep trying to convince you of this.

[sgt.null]

all you need is cash. no strike that. love don't cost a thing?

someone help.

[emotional leper]

So, EL, do you need it reciprocated to give love? Don't you know that the purest kind of love is that which is not returned?


At least that is what I keep writing to all the ladies I'm stalking.

These days, I do.

There was once a time when EL was young, and happy, and the world had not yet hurt him to a large extent.

In that time, EL gave his heart freely.

When EL first started giving parts of heart away, he had most of it left, and he gave away large pieces, and didn't worry too much about who he gave them to.

As time went on, the pieces got smaller and smaller as he had less of his heart left. But every now and then, he'd give a larger piece away. Not as large as they used to be, but still fairly sizeable.

And then one day EL woke up and realised he didn't have anything left. He'd given all those pieces of his heart away. He'd given himself all away. And he hadn't kept any little bit of love or hope for himself. He'd spent it all on other people. And because he'd given it freely, because he hadn't cared overmuch about who he gave his heart away to, he often gave it to people who didn't deserve it -- people who threw it away, or worse, and more frequent, people who only used that bit of him as something to stick their goads and pins in, to get him to do what they wanted, to use him.

There are people that EL loves. Very much so. And he will love them for however much longer he is forced to remain in this world. But EL woke up that day and realised he was empty, and hollow. Like some sort of animate, anatomically correct Ken doll. He looked in the mirror, and everything looked right, and he spoke, and everything sounded right. He knew all the right things, and said all the right words. But they were all empty. Hollow. Echos, Ghosts, Phantoms. Memories. EL couldn't love anymore.

EL woke up one day and realised that the people who hurt him, who really hurt him, were the people he loved. And that the amount of pain they were able to cause him was directly proportional to how much he loved them. More than that, he realised that the people he loved seemed to hurt him purposefully a good deal of the time. Because while he loved them, they didn't love him.

And inside EL's head is a little switch. A tiny little on/off switch. When he'd meet a person, it'd start off in the off position. And sometimes, by chance, or purposefully, or via divine providence, that switch would turn on. And EL would love someone. However, the problem with that little switch is that it can only ever be turned on. It can never be turned off. And no matter how much a person EL loves hurts him, he never stops loving them. No matter what. Otherwise, it wouldn't be love.

So EL woke up one morning, and looked around, and realised that he could no longer love. And for a while it hurt. Because there have been people whom EL has liked very much. And on more than one occasion he has lost those people because when they said three little words, he wasn't able to say them back. And to be fair to them, he had to tell them the truth -- that he was never going to say those words to them. Ever.

EL had learned from long experience that Love was self-inflicted harm. Love was giving someone else a club with which to beat you. It was something that in most people served a useful purpose, not for the individual, but for the species. And EL sighed, and sat in thought for some time.

And every now and then something EL will see will stir up those ghosts and shades from his past. A half-forgotten memory will spring up, as fresh and new was thought it was just happening. As if none of them had ever gone away. As if none of them had ever hurt him. Because they were bored with him. Or hated him and had only gotten close to him to hurt him. Or because they just really didn't care. Or because they were too busy having fun to pay attention to the consequences of their own actions. And for a few moments, he'll smile. And for a while, he has his memories of love. And that has to be enough for him. Because it's all he's ever going to have.

[sgt.null]

beautiful.

i turned that switch when i was around 3 or 4. i didn't talk for an entire year. when i came back i was a bit more distant. now i miss stuff from that time, but it is an echo.

[MsMary]

I think it sounds very sad.

[sgt.null]

there is greaty beauty in sadness. the girl who left you, that fishing trip with dad, that dog you had as a kid. life is full of sadness. mona lisa, 500 miles, syd barrett.

[emotional leper]

We grok Beauty.

[sgt.null]

Jill, I grok people!