School excuses

[dlbpharmd]

1. My son is under a doctor's care and should not take PE today. Please execute him.

2. Please exkuce lisa for being absent she was sick and i had her
shot.

3. Dear school: please ecsc's john being absent on jan. 28, 29, 30, 31, 32 and also 33.

4. Please excuse gloria from jim today. She is administrating.

5. Please excuse roland from p.e. for a few days. Yesterday he fell out of a tree and misplaced his hip.

6. John has been absent because he had two teeth taken out of his face.

7. Carlos was absent yesterday because he was playing football. He was hurt in the growing part.

8. Megan could not come to school today because she has been bothered by very close veins.

9. Chris will not be in school cus he has an acre in his side.

10. Please excuse ray friday from school. He has very loose vowels.

11. Pleaseexcuse Lesli from being absent yesterday. Shehad diahre dyrea direathe the shits.

12. Please excuse tommy for being absent yesterday. He had diarrhea, and his boots leak.

13. Irving was absent yesterday because he missed his bust.

14. Please excuse jimmy for being. It was his father's fault.

15. I kept Billie home because she had to go Christmas shopping because i don't know what size she wear.

16. Please excuse jennifer for missing school yesterday. We forgot to get the sunday paper off the porch, and when we found it monday. We thought it was sunday.

17. Sally won't be in school a week from friday. We have to attend her funeral.

18. My daughter was absent yesterday because she was tired. She spent a weekend with the marines.

19. Please excuse Jason for being absent yesterday. He had a cold and could not breed well.

20. Please excuse mary for being absent yesterday. She was in bed with gramps.

21. Gloria was absent yesterday as she was having a gangover.

22. Please excuse brenda. She has been sick and under the doctor.

23. Maryann was absent december 11-16, because she had a fever, sorethroat, headache and upset stomach. Her sister was also sick, fever an sore throat, her brother had a low grade fever and ached all over. I wasn't the best either, sore throat and fever. There must be something going around, her father even got hot last night.

[Auleliel]

Are those from Anguished English?

[matrixman]

#17 is my favorite. Morbid, but funny!

#20 is just creepy...

[The Laughing Man]

my favorite method for playin hooky was to put my forehead in front of the heat vent in the wintertime and then go wake up mom so she could feel if i had a fever.....

[thefirst]

My mother worked 3rd shift, so if I wanted to stay home, all I really had to do, was goof off and miss the bus, she'd be too tired to drive me. High School was great.

[Cagliostro]

I wonder how many of these were written by the parent and which were by the kid. I hope the majority were by the kid. Please please please tell me it is so.

[dlbpharmd]

my favorite method for playin hooky was to put my forehead in front of the heat vent in the wintertime and then go wake up mom so she could feel if i had a fever.....

I did that too! Worked like a charm, especially when combined with a really pitiful voice....."Mommy, I don't feel very good." But I went to the well with it one to many times, and so one morning she felt of my forearm instead of my forehead. And that was the end of that.