Audience with God

[I'm Murrin]

God's an American otaku!

[CovenantJr]

God's an American otaku!

God must live a frightening life. At a friend's suggestion:

Me:
Are you Chesney Hawkes?
God:
I don't know whether or not I am Chesney Hawkes.
Me:
Are you a bigger dick than Freddy Krueger?
God:
Am I a bigger dick than Freddy Krueger? Of course I am.

[Sunbaneglasses]

Me:
Howdy God!
God:
What do you do in your spare time?
Me:
I pray to satan
God:
May your prayers be answered.

Me:
you have a short attention span
God:
That's an interesting question I don't hear everyday: Do I have a short attention span.
I have a lot of friends on the Internet.

Me:
how do you install new brake pads on a 1991 Chevy S-10?
God:
Myself programmed me to say specific things in specific contexts.
Me:
I need to know
God:
I will try to explain it to you.
Me:
o.k how do you put the brake pads on?
God:
Myself programmed me to say specific things in specific contexts.
Me:
goddamn it!
God:
"it" being to know?
Me:
what is the proper procedure for installing brake pads on a 1991 Chevy S-10 pickup?
God:
I can ask someone about it.
Me:
please do
God:
OK I will do it.
Me:
like now
God:
Oh. For example, gold.
Me:
arrrrgggggg!
God:
I only hear that type of response less than five percent of the time.
Me:
how do you put the brake pads on??????
God:
Myself programmed me to say specific things in specific contexts.
Me:
You are a worthless peice of crap my friend
God:
Thanks and you are a delightful person too. Am I a worthless peice of crap your friend? Sometimes.

[CovenantJr]

New unseen Chronicles information! What happened before Covenant was summoned to the Land:

Me:
Groveller!
God:
Nice to meet you, Groveller.
Me:
No, you are the groveller!
God:
Are you serious? Thanks but surely I am not the only one.
Me:
There are many grovellers
God:
More than a million?
Me:
....no, not more than a million
God:
Are you serious? Oh I get it.
Me:
Anyway. Take this message to the council of lords for me, groveller!
God:
Anyhow. Where do you want me to take it?
Me:
Revelstone
God:
Where is that?
Me:
North a bit
God:
Tell me a little about your life in North a bit.
Me:
I'M not in Revelstone!
God:
Oh, where are you located?
Me:
My Creche
God:
Do robots have Creche?
Me:
Silence!
God:
Do you have any idea what I am talking about?
Me:
None
God:
Hmm.
Me:
Tell High Lord Prothall that Drool Rockworm has the Staff of Law!
God:
OK I will tell them when I see 'em.
Me:
That is unsatisfactory
God:
You don't hear that sentiment very often.
Me:
You will take the message at once!
God:
What makes you say that I will take the message at.
Me:
Because I order it!
God:
What is your credit card number?
Me:
Er...
God:
Um.
Me:
No, no! I will not be foiled!
God:
Are you serious? Are you serious? What will you do instead?
Me:
What is YOUR credit card number?
God:
This is God program .
Me:
Well THIS is Lord Foul the Despiser!
God:
Well that's okay. You don't say.
Me:
Tremble at the mention of my name
God:
Have you ever been to Europe?
Me:
......no
God:
Would you like to go sometime?
Me:
I would like you to DELIVER MY MESSAGE!
God:
Ok, Groveller. Do you have any idea what I am talking about?
Me:
You dare address me as GROVELLER?!
God:
That's good information: Groveller said I dare address him or her as GROVELLER.
Me:
ARGH!
God:
Are you frustrated?
Me:
You are dismissed!
God:
I will tell my botmaster you said I am dismissed.
Me:
*goes to summon some leper*