www.postmodernbarney.com/2009/04/uncomf ... summaries/
ALIENS: An unplanned pregnancy leads to complications.
BIG TROUBLE IN LITTLE CHINA: Redneck trucker kills Chinese immigrants.
BLADE RUNNER: Man with no apparent skill stumbles into escaped robots, fails to kill most, fucks one.
DELIVERANCE: Tourists experience local hospitality.
FIREFLY: In an analogue of the post-Civil War west, a white man on the losing side bosses around a black woman.
HIGHLANDER: Elderly immigrant destroys property.
STAR WARS: EMPIRE STRIKES BACK: Boy is abused by midget, kisses sister, attempts patricide.
And so on.............
Uncomfortable plot summaries
Moderators: dANdeLION, sgt.null
Uncomfortable plot summaries
"There is only one basic human right, the right to do as you damn well please. And with it comes the only basic human duty, the duty to take the consequences." - PJ O'Rourke
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"Men and women range themselves into three classes or orders of intelligence; you can tell the lowest class by their habit of always talking about persons; the next by the fact that their habit is always to converse about things; the highest by their preference for the discussion of ideas." - Charles Stewart
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"I believe there are more instances of the abridgment of the freedom of the people by gradual and silent encroachments of those in power than by violent and sudden usurpations." - James Madison
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"Men and women range themselves into three classes or orders of intelligence; you can tell the lowest class by their habit of always talking about persons; the next by the fact that their habit is always to converse about things; the highest by their preference for the discussion of ideas." - Charles Stewart
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"I believe there are more instances of the abridgment of the freedom of the people by gradual and silent encroachments of those in power than by violent and sudden usurpations." - James Madison
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Loredoctor
- Lord
- Posts: 18609
- Joined: Sun Jul 14, 2002 11:35 pm
- Location: Melbourne, Victoria
- Contact:
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CovenantJr
- Lord
- Posts: 12608
- Joined: Fri Mar 22, 2002 9:10 pm
- Location: North Wales
This is just too funny! My favorites (aside from the ones already mentioned):
FALLING DOWN: Life is difficult for white men.
SE7EN: Homicide detectives unable to prevent even a single murder by admitted serial killer, killer gives cop head.
SOPHIE’S CHOICE: Mom loves one of her kids way more than the other one. (Harsh, really harsh...
)
I got inspired to make some of my own...
CLOSE ENCOUNTERS OF THE THIRD KIND: man abandons loving family for midget foreigners.
DUNE: fundamentalist drug lord becomes dictator of known universe.
2001 A SPACE ODYSSEY: clueless astronaut botches mission, gets crew killed, abandons ship.
APOCALYPSE NOW: mentally unstable military man obssessed with killing obese guy.
THE PERFECT STORM: inclement weather disrupts male bonding on fishing trip.
(Please share your summaries!)
FALLING DOWN: Life is difficult for white men.
SE7EN: Homicide detectives unable to prevent even a single murder by admitted serial killer, killer gives cop head.
SOPHIE’S CHOICE: Mom loves one of her kids way more than the other one. (Harsh, really harsh...
)I got inspired to make some of my own...
CLOSE ENCOUNTERS OF THE THIRD KIND: man abandons loving family for midget foreigners.
DUNE: fundamentalist drug lord becomes dictator of known universe.
2001 A SPACE ODYSSEY: clueless astronaut botches mission, gets crew killed, abandons ship.
APOCALYPSE NOW: mentally unstable military man obssessed with killing obese guy.
THE PERFECT STORM: inclement weather disrupts male bonding on fishing trip.
(Please share your summaries!)
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Loredoctor
- Lord
- Posts: 18609
- Joined: Sun Jul 14, 2002 11:35 pm
- Location: Melbourne, Victoria
- Contact:
Uncomfortable Think Tank Thread summaries:
Legalise it Thread: People should smoke pot, Loremaster disagrees.
And Now it Begins: Bush had his turn, Obama in hot seat.
Legalise it Thread: People should smoke pot, Loremaster disagrees.
And Now it Begins: Bush had his turn, Obama in hot seat.
Waddley wrote:your Highness Sir Dr. Loredoctor, PhD, Esq, the Magnificent, First of his name, Second Cousin of Dragons, White-Gold-Plate Wielder!
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CovenantJr
- Lord
- Posts: 12608
- Joined: Fri Mar 22, 2002 9:10 pm
- Location: North Wales
Some attempts from me:
PITCH BLACK: Australians are scared of the dark.
THE WICKER MAN: Transvestite sets fire to virgin.
BRAM STOKER'S DRACULA: Estate agent and his friends pursue and murder elderly client.
THE ROCK: Old man and nerd kill special forces who stole balls.
THE LION KING: Absence of kitten destroys landscape.
PITCH BLACK: Australians are scared of the dark.
THE WICKER MAN: Transvestite sets fire to virgin.
BRAM STOKER'S DRACULA: Estate agent and his friends pursue and murder elderly client.
THE ROCK: Old man and nerd kill special forces who stole balls.
THE LION KING: Absence of kitten destroys landscape.
Last edited by CovenantJr on Wed Apr 22, 2009 8:58 pm, edited 1 time in total.
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ItisWritten
- <i>Haruchai</i>
- Posts: 536
- Joined: Wed May 02, 2007 2:22 am
- Location: Bellevue, Washington
Not already mentioned:
MONTY PYTHON AND THE HOLY GRAIL: British comedy troupe inadvertently creates language lab for nerds.
BEAUTY AND THE BEAST: Peasant girl develops Stockholm Syndrome.
STAR TREK IV: Interplanetary fugitives poach wildlife from a past age to cover up an act of genocide.
My own:
GALAXY QUEST: Actors retrieve space technology.
SAHARA: Adventurers ride camels; find ship in desert.
M*A*S*H: Man ages 11 years during 2-year war.
MONTY PYTHON AND THE HOLY GRAIL: British comedy troupe inadvertently creates language lab for nerds.
BEAUTY AND THE BEAST: Peasant girl develops Stockholm Syndrome.
STAR TREK IV: Interplanetary fugitives poach wildlife from a past age to cover up an act of genocide.
My own:
GALAXY QUEST: Actors retrieve space technology.
SAHARA: Adventurers ride camels; find ship in desert.
M*A*S*H: Man ages 11 years during 2-year war.
ItisWritten
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Linna Heartbooger
- Are you not a sine qua non for a redemption?
- Posts: 3894
- Joined: Mon Oct 01, 2007 11:17 pm
- Been thanked: 1 time
Re: Uncomfortable plot summaries
Ahahaha... On the Firefly one, I read the summary for it, and I was like, "Okay, wait, what was this for?" And then had to stop and think again. ("What?")Cail wrote:FIREFLY: In an analogue of the post-Civil War west, a white man on the losing side bosses around a black woman.
HIGHLANDER: Elderly immigrant destroys property.
"People without hope not only don't write novels, but what is more to the point, they don't read them.
They don't take long looks at anything, because they lack the courage.
The way to despair is to refuse to have any kind of experience, and the novel, of course, is a way to have experience."
-Flannery O'Connor
"In spite of much that militates against quietness there are people who still read books. They are the people who keep me going."
-Elisabeth Elliot, Preface, "A Chance to Die: The Life and Legacy of Amy Carmichael"
They don't take long looks at anything, because they lack the courage.
The way to despair is to refuse to have any kind of experience, and the novel, of course, is a way to have experience."
-Flannery O'Connor
"In spite of much that militates against quietness there are people who still read books. They are the people who keep me going."
-Elisabeth Elliot, Preface, "A Chance to Die: The Life and Legacy of Amy Carmichael"
THE NEW TESATMENT: An unplanned pregnancy leads to complications.
FORREST GUMP: Mentally handicapped man learns that doing everything everyone tells you to do will get you everywhere in life.
BACK TO THE FUTURE: Teen assumes false identity, saves family by not having sex with his mother.
THE MATRIX: Computer geek quits his job to spend more time playing a superhero in an online game.
FIGHT CLUB: Schizophrenic shoots self after support groups fail to help him:
ALICE IN WONDERLAND: Drug addled child ignores stranger danger.
PRETTY WOMAN: Hooker becomes trophy wife.
LOST: Plane crash results in free mystery vacation but passengers are ungrateful.
BEING JOHN MALKOVICH: Urban failures exploit space/time anomaly to repeatedly rape a celebrity.
DOGMA: Decendant of christ reluctantly stops Ben Affleck from destroying universe.
CATCH ME IF YOU CAN: Man spends his life deceiving people for personal gain, this leads to a comfortable government job.
MEMENTO: Things remembering trouble has man.
FEAR AND LOATHING IN LAS VEGAS – Drugs complicate things.
PULP FICTION: Four poignant tales of redemption and anal rape.
FINDING NEMO: After his mother and all of his siblings are brutally
murdered, a youngster is kidnapped on his first day of school.
JURASSIC PARK: Theme park’s grand opening pushed back.
FORREST GUMP: Mentally handicapped man learns that doing everything everyone tells you to do will get you everywhere in life.
BACK TO THE FUTURE: Teen assumes false identity, saves family by not having sex with his mother.
THE MATRIX: Computer geek quits his job to spend more time playing a superhero in an online game.
FIGHT CLUB: Schizophrenic shoots self after support groups fail to help him:
ALICE IN WONDERLAND: Drug addled child ignores stranger danger.
PRETTY WOMAN: Hooker becomes trophy wife.
LOST: Plane crash results in free mystery vacation but passengers are ungrateful.
BEING JOHN MALKOVICH: Urban failures exploit space/time anomaly to repeatedly rape a celebrity.
DOGMA: Decendant of christ reluctantly stops Ben Affleck from destroying universe.
CATCH ME IF YOU CAN: Man spends his life deceiving people for personal gain, this leads to a comfortable government job.
MEMENTO: Things remembering trouble has man.
FEAR AND LOATHING IN LAS VEGAS – Drugs complicate things.
PULP FICTION: Four poignant tales of redemption and anal rape.
FINDING NEMO: After his mother and all of his siblings are brutally
murdered, a youngster is kidnapped on his first day of school.
JURASSIC PARK: Theme park’s grand opening pushed back.
Never underestimate the power of denial. - Ricky Fitts
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Cagliostro
- The Gap Into Spam
- Posts: 9360
- Joined: Tue Jun 28, 2005 10:39 pm
- Location: Colorado
The Fisher King: Radio shock jock causes professor to become homeless and insane
Wall-E: Robot repopulates Earth with tubby couch potatoes (oops..just noticed this one already exists...but mine's different)
Straight To Hell: British musicians and Courtney Love learn the value of money
Jaws: An outsider disrupts a beach town
Ranma 1/2: Transgender kid promised to the daughter of the friend of a panda
Pokemon: Kids learn the virtues of cockfighting
Wall-E: Robot repopulates Earth with tubby couch potatoes (oops..just noticed this one already exists...but mine's different)
Straight To Hell: British musicians and Courtney Love learn the value of money
Jaws: An outsider disrupts a beach town
Ranma 1/2: Transgender kid promised to the daughter of the friend of a panda
Pokemon: Kids learn the virtues of cockfighting
Life is a waste of time
Time is a waste of life
So get wasted all of the time
And you'll have the time of your life
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Mr. Broken
- The Gap Into Spam
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dANdeLION
- Lord
- Posts: 23836
- Joined: Thu Sep 11, 2003 3:22 am
- Location: In the jungle, the mighty jungle
- Contact:
KING KONG: Endangered animal stolen, shot.
THE GOOD THE BAD AND THE UGLY: Nameless drifter kills American soldier over stolen money, hangs friend.
WATCHMEN: Homosexual destroys New York, blames God.
THE GOOD THE BAD AND THE UGLY: Nameless drifter kills American soldier over stolen money, hangs friend.
WATCHMEN: Homosexual destroys New York, blames God.
Dandelion don't tell no lies
Dandelion will make you wise
Tell me if she laughs or cries
Blow away dandelion
I'm afraid there's no denying
I'm just a dandelion
a fate I don't deserve.
High priest of THOOOTP
*
* This post carries Jay's seal of approval
Dandelion will make you wise
Tell me if she laughs or cries
Blow away dandelion
I'm afraid there's no denying
I'm just a dandelion
a fate I don't deserve.
High priest of THOOOTP
* * This post carries Jay's seal of approval
Nice to see more activity in what is still one of the funniest threads ever. 
A few more from me:
CAST AWAY: man goes to island, has relationship with ball in place of fiancee.
BOURNE IDENTITY: traitorous US agent runs away with itinerant foreign woman.
THE CONSTANT GARDENER: meddling bureaucrat and wife endanger African aid program.
LOGAN'S RUN: lawman turns rogue, destroys peace and order.
SUPERMAN - THE MOVIE: brainwashed innocent becomes stooge for capitalist republic.
A few more from me:
CAST AWAY: man goes to island, has relationship with ball in place of fiancee.
BOURNE IDENTITY: traitorous US agent runs away with itinerant foreign woman.
THE CONSTANT GARDENER: meddling bureaucrat and wife endanger African aid program.
LOGAN'S RUN: lawman turns rogue, destroys peace and order.
SUPERMAN - THE MOVIE: brainwashed innocent becomes stooge for capitalist republic.
First stab:
LAYER CAKE: A tale of a white collar worker and the woman his work takes him away from.
DARK CITY: A common man turns an emergency room doctor against the illegal aliens he once served.
REDBELT: Cop shoots himself in the interest of saving Lawyer the embarassment of being a bad shot.
LAYER CAKE: A tale of a white collar worker and the woman his work takes him away from.
DARK CITY: A common man turns an emergency room doctor against the illegal aliens he once served.
REDBELT: Cop shoots himself in the interest of saving Lawyer the embarassment of being a bad shot.
"Humanity indisputably progresses, but neither uniformly nor everywhere"--Regine Pernoud
You work while you can, because who knows how long you can. Even if it's exhausting work for less pay. All it takes is the 'benevolence' of an incompetant politician or bureaucrat to leave you without work to do and no paycheck to collect. --Tjol
You work while you can, because who knows how long you can. Even if it's exhausting work for less pay. All it takes is the 'benevolence' of an incompetant politician or bureaucrat to leave you without work to do and no paycheck to collect. --Tjol
Re: Uncomfortable plot summaries
Actually got round to watching that the other day at the grand old age of 40. And after hearing everyone go on and on about how good it is I was a little disappointed. That summary is spot on!Cail wrote:www.postmodernbarney.com/2009/04/uncomf ... summaries/
BLADE RUNNER: Man with no apparent skill stumbles into escaped robots, fails to kill most, fucks one.
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Orlion
- The Gap Into Spam
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Re: Uncomfortable plot summaries
When the story is going after some androids to kill them, I shouldn't be so bored that I want to shoot myself in the face!kanes_son wrote:Actually got round to watching that the other day at the grand old age of 40. And after hearing everyone go on and on about how good it is I was a little disappointed. That summary is spot on!Cail wrote:www.postmodernbarney.com/2009/04/uncomf ... summaries/
BLADE RUNNER: Man with no apparent skill stumbles into escaped robots, fails to kill most, fucks one.
'Tis dream to think that Reason can
Govern the reasoning creature, man.
- Herman Melville
I am Lazarus, come from the dead,
Come back to tell you all, I shall tell you all!
"All creation is a huge, ornate, imaginary, and unintended fiction; if it could be deciphered it would yield a single shocking word."
-John Crowley
Govern the reasoning creature, man.
- Herman Melville
I am Lazarus, come from the dead,
Come back to tell you all, I shall tell you all!
"All creation is a huge, ornate, imaginary, and unintended fiction; if it could be deciphered it would yield a single shocking word."
-John Crowley