CalvinBall

[Calvin]

I use the pinking shears, blades closed, like a king's sword and knight Hobbes as an "honarary pink bird". I put him down in front of the goal, take one of the demi-ballz and bounce it off him into the goal.

Calvin: 2
Seven: 1
Hobbes: 1

[Suzie]

I throw a water balloon at Calvin. He's drenched, now. He runs away and hides.

I pick up Hobbes. "You need a pink ribbon. Let's play dress-up." Then I toss the other demi-ball through the goal, while holding Hobbes.

[Hobbes]

Su...su...Suzie! Oh!

Having been declared an "honarary pink bird" (as opposed to an honorary pink bird) I flip myself in Calvin's general direction and let Suzie add a ribbon to my ensemble and carry me off to play dress-up. This could be quite the fun new game!

Ch-ch-ch-ch-Changes

[Suzie]

"Only pretty people can score goals." I put a big pink bow on Hobbes' neck.

[Calvin]

The giant ninja Tyrannosaurus slowly makes his way through the trees towards his unsuspecting prey. Fools! They don't know what doom awaits them. Soon. Very soon. Then he will strike, rending them limb from pretty pink bow!

[Suzie]

I pull the pretty pink ribbon tight.

"I can hear you, Calvin. You're snarling behind the tree. And dinosaurs aren't pretty."

[Hobbes]

ahem. that pink ribbon is a bit tight. can't breathe...

[Calvin]

The ninja tyrannosaurus yelps with surprise, then leaps up to his waiting F-14 jet, which was hovering on autopilot about the scene.

"Curses! Hobbes, do you see what she's doing to you? It starts with the pretty pink ribbon, then it moves to the death by choking, and finally... they've won. Smelly girlS take over the world, one pink ribbon at a time!"

Then he floors the pedal and flies away at superdimensional speeds.

[Suzie]

I take the pink ribbon off.

"That isn't your color. Here, try this red bandana."



"Now you look butch, and not sissy."

[Calvin]

Spaceman Spiff flees the scene of indescribable terror. His second in command, Commander Hobbes, was just taken prisoner by the evil, horrible, smelly aliens. When last he'd seen Hobbes, he was under some kind of mind control beam, and there was some kind of red parasitic alien being attached to his throat. Spiff was certain it was only a matter of time before zombie Hobbes started after him, having given up all the secret codes, including the password to the super-secret G.R.O.S.S. hideout.

The intrepid spaceman returns to the interdimensional portal he and Hobbes took to get here [The goal]. In Hobbes' absence, Spiff himself must assume his duties, including that of Honarary Pink Bird. Spiff takes the two discarded halves of the ball, what they'd used to test the atmosphere on this side of the portal before entering, and tosses them back through the portal.

[Two more points]

"Oh, Commander Hobbes. You were a good crewmember. And a good tiger. I shall avenge your death, even if it means I must destroy your walking zombie-tiger corpse."

[Suzie]

"Calvin, you're so stupid. Being pretty is worth way more points than throwing the ball through the stupid goal."

When I put the pink ribbon in my own hair, there's a glowing "+10" that appears next to me. It floats upwards a bit, then fades out.

[Calvin]

"Oh yeah? Well... uh... being ugly is worth even more than that!"

As a t-rex, I get a +100 appearing next to me.

I do the end-zone dance, pointing up to the +100 over and over.

[Suzie]

"Calvin, you're not ugly. Just goofy looking. Here, have some purple blush."

Calvin looks like Barney. His green +100 turns into a red -100.

"See Hobbes? Doesn't he look Grrrrrreat?"

[Calvin]

"Yuck. You win."

I walk away, in purple shame.