The nightmare that followed was one for the history books.
It started off with my dude going missing. Now, my dude is CURRENTLY missing over in Israel. Not really missing but he isn't here so it's the same in my mind.
So, back to the dream. Dude went missing in the dream, and I was getting no calls or IM's or anything. I'm playing WoW one evening and this random priest with Holy-something in his name messages me. Well, I blow it off, thinking it's just some troll. Turns out, it's a Catholic priest and he's currently watching after my dude who is in fact a damned angel who has been ON THE RUN FROM THE ILLUMINATI.
Needless to say, brix were shat. But at least I'm now able to communicate with my dude who plays an elemental shaman so we did Prot pally/Ele shammy 2v2s to pass the time and roflstomped our way to like 1800 rating. It was crazy. And then Wizardcleaves started owning us.
It gets worse. So, the Illuminati breaks into my house while I'm at work and mutilates my cats, leaving them strung up on the walls. I'm distraught and pissed off and clearly in danger, so my dude arranges a different house for me, and I move in there. Then the Illuminati starts teleporting copies of my cats into my new living room. They're apparently spies. So I put them outside. (They ported like 15 damned cats into my living room. There were holes in the screens of the windows so I tried pushing them out of the holes.)
Things are getting bad for my dude, the Illuminati are closing in to his location. I wasn't completely sure what the hell was going on, apparently he's some kind of dark angel but he's ultimately good so they can't kill him off but they can try to scare him/taunt him into doing something crazy and evil.
I was just trying to remain calm, like this:
But then they sent me an 8 foot tall Janet Jackson commando. She was also a futa with long pointy ears. I later realized this was Mongraa of the Bloodstalker Tribe on Moon Guard, who plays a tribal night elf futa in the Cathedral. So I'm just chillin' in my homeplace thing and BAM there she is. And then she violated me, and then she left.
So I logged on and told dude this and he's all like okay that's it. It's over. Breaks up with me, removes me and blocks me and ignores me from EVERYTHING.
And then he leveled a city. And then presumably the Illuminati ended him. When I woke up there was some huge nerubian thing being ported in, like, it was like some big thing like this and kind of see-through.
Except my UI is WAY better than this:
This is the reaction when I told him all this crap:
So this entire thing makes about as much sense as this:Me 4:17 am
I don't know what time it is there but I woke up dreaming of you and I thought you should know. I love you. Don't forget that.
Him 4:18 am
I would never forget that, my love.
Me 4:19 am
They weren't so much dreams as nightmares but you get the idea. I'm going back to sleep. Be safe, and no taunting the bad guys.
Him 4:20 am
Hehe, got it. I'll miss you love. Sleep well and this time try to have good dreams.
Me 4:21 am
...You're not really a herovillian are you? I mean, that isn't really why you're stuck, is it? I don't want to see them hurt you.
Not again.
Him 4:22 am
A herovillian, like Robin Hood?
Me 4:22 am
...No. Something dark and powerful but good so they can't really kill you off... but they can try to scare/annoy you into doing
evil things. And there was a priest who spoke for you.
They came after me and killed my cats and started porting weird shit into my home and one was a dominatrix futa.
Him 4:24 am
That sounds kinda awesome, but no... Just me. Sorry to disappoint. I'll see about getting dark, powerful powers, but I don't think I'll be successful.
Me 4:25 am
Don't. Seriously don't. Bad things will come to pass.
Him 4:26 am
Okay, I'll just sit tight then. Don't worry love. You know everything about me. Just sleep.
