How are cornflakes made?

[peter]

In the interests of entertaining the Watch, even if you can get it at the supermarket, I think you should go to the millers yard with your cup... and a camera.

I'm not sure I'm prepared to go quite that far in the interests of entertaining the Watch. Being battered to a pulp with wooden barrel staves by an irate mob of cornish rednecks - entertaining though it might be - is definitely going beyond the call of duty, even for a bowl of cornflakes. However, I am nothing if not rescourceful and am determined that unlikely though the final outcome is to be sucessful - the attempt shall be made. (Have I not a perfectly good pestle and mortar - or would that be mortar and pestel - on the shelf in my kitchen and do not pigeons eat maize as a regular part of thier diet. It seems to me all that is needed is my local branch of 'PetSmart' and some good old fashioned elbow grease!)

[Shaun das Schaf]

Firstly, pussy.

Secondly, why don't you dress up like your avatar and *then* go to the miller's yard? Just a hunch, but I think the Cornish rednecks will stay away from you. And those that do approach will only do so to say, "Would you like some help with your millet Sir? No no, let me carry it to your car. Millet's heavy, especially in the quantity you're buying Sir."

However, I am nothing if not rescourceful and am determined that unlikely though the final outcome is to be sucessful - the attempt shall be made. (Have I not a perfectly good pestle and mortar - or would that be mortar and pestel - on the shelf in my kitchen and do not pigeons eat maize as a regular part of thier diet. It seems to me all that is needed is my local branch of 'PetSmart' and some good old fashioned elbow grease!)

I think I may have misread your meaning in the above because I'm picturing you crushing pigeons to a pulp with your pestle and then baking the pieces. Which doesn't sound like it would make a great cornflake. I don't speak from experience of course. My pigeon-pulping licence lapsed years ago.

[peter]

My 'Avatar' Sir, is a detail from Frank Frazetta's Death Dealer artwork. I assure you that even in the said costume I would not cut the 200lb slab of beefcake figure represented by 'Gath of Baal' in the depiction. Such a course could only result in a 'Deliverence' style scenario involving my being told to "Squeal like a pig!".

re the maceration of pigeons into cornflakes, again you mistake me. Picture me more if you will, puce in the face trying to macerate each bullet hard maize 'ear' (can't be the right word) to the required cornflake making consistency - a process that should yeild (what was it) half a cup full in about a week (if I work through the nights as well).

[deer of the dawn]

I once saw a science demonstration in an elementary school that involved Corn Flakes. They guy explained how they are made. Basically, they soak and cook the crap out of the corn kernels in order to extract the starch. The husks are kind of a leftover. They are then sprayed with liquifed multivitamin/mineral/sugar/salt mixture because there ain't a whole lot of nourishment left, nor flavor. Then they are baked dry.

As part of the demonstration, he extracted the iron using a magnet. It basically looked like iron filings. After that, I wasn't all that interested in Corn Flakes anymore. Anyway, they get soggy too fast. Wheaties are better and have actual wheat in them, not a by-product.

Wheaties, btw, were accidentally invented by an athlete who dripped hot wheat cereal on his stove top. (Just a gratuitous piece of useless trivia to clog your brain.)

I usually make my own cereal, mostly from oatmeal. Mmmm...

[Shaun das Schaf]

My 'Avatar' Sir, is a detail from Frank Frazetta's Death Dealer artwork. I assure you that even in the said costume I would not cut the 200lb slab of beefcake figure represented by 'Gath of Baal' in the depiction. Such a course could only result in a 'Deliverence' style scenario involving my being told to "Squeal like a pig!".

re the maceration of pigeons into cornflakes, again you mistake me. Picture me more if you will, puce in the face trying to macerate each bullet hard maize 'ear' (can't be the right word) to the required cornflake making consistency - a process that should yeild (what was it) half a cup full in about a week (if I work through the nights as well).

ROFL but I'm a Madam not a Sir. It should say 'female' right there under my male name. Unless changing the board style from 'subsilver' to 'blueagain' dysfunctionalises (shut up, it's a word) the gender ID tag?

Anyway I digress. You need to call me Miss. Or Sheila. Or Bitchface if you need to let off steam after a week of unproductive maize macerating.

Hi Deer, I make my own breakfast too.

[sgt.null]

not on my diet - but fruity pebbles are like crack for kids. mmmmmmmmmm....... tri color nirvana...

[MsMary]

Colorful while not suggesting something remotely edible.

[peter]

Sorry about that Shaun - why do I always make that mistake. It's a mental attachment thing. I attach images to peoples 'names' and Shaun des schaf conjures up images of sheep shearing which in the UK is a pretty male dominated area. Shadowbinding Shoe was I thought female because his avatar conjured up an image of the Old Woman who Lived in a Shoe.

Just to veer of at a tangent and because I don't know who else to tell, I think I invented a new word last night, 'Bollotics'. It's a combination of bollocks and polotics (I meant to say a particular UK polotician was talking bollocks but it came out wrong) and means that shit that poloticians talk when they're talking crap, they know they're talking crap, and everybody else knows they're talking crap. An example could be:-

David Cameron "The Govornment intends to use every means at it's disposal to limit the exesive bonus and payment for failure culture that has grown up in the financial sector in recent years".

[DukkhaWaynhim]

Bollotics -- I like this word. Ironic, though, since politicians as a rule have big-bollocky talk -- and are often total nutters -- but generally run for cover should an actual fracas ensue, which bespeaks a lack of bollocks.

On the corn flake front -- I normally would gung-ho approve of use of mortar and pestle; but that sounds like a miserable amount of work. Pre-ground corn meal is your friend. Pigeon food from the pet store? Seriously?

[peter]

not on my diet - but fruity pebbles are like crack for kids. mmmmmmmmmm....... tri color nirvana...

Cornflakes if Disney invented them

[DukkhaWaynhim]

[forefingers the nerd glasses higher on nose] "Excuse me, but the pebbles family of breakfast cereals is clearly based on rice, and not corn."

[wayfriend]

[forefingers the nerd glasses higher on nose] "Excuse me, but the pebbles family of breakfast cereals is clearly based on rice, and not corn."

Rice Crispies cross-bred with Skittles, actually.

My favorite cereal is Cheerios. Like hotdogs, I don't want to know how they're made.

[MsMary]

You and my daughter. Cheerios is her main breakfast food, as far as I can tell.

[peter]

Yes but Cherio's is one of those breakfast cereals that is clearly produced by converting something into powder - and then pressing it back into a ring (or lump or ball or star or whatever) again. Your cornflake on the other hand, adulterated as it is, at least gives the impression of at one time having been a 'thing in itself' (though Sarge's homemade cornflake recpie might belie this), and on this basis, has to be considered as being closer to 'real food' than the Cherio.

[MsMary]

I wouldn't give either Cheerios or cornflakes credit for it being apparent what the grain source is.

[DukkhaWaynhim]

But they are all made from whole grain

Just like Splenda is made from real sugar -- think of it as sugar plus a little 50+-step chemical reaction/conversion process...but it really does start with cane sugar.

Gotta love marketing.

dw

[sgt.null]

Fruity Pebbles aren't made in a lab by mad scientists?

[wayfriend]

Fruity pebbles are made in a lab by Teletubbies.

And corn syrup is a grain.

[DukkhaWaynhim]

Lol! Corn syrup is a grain, just like human plasma is a mammal...

[peter]

Today (might) be the day Guts! (typo error there that was positively Freudian in it's occurence so it had to be left in!) I'm of on a hunt for corn meal - fine ground or otherwise - and I won't take no for an answer!

DukhaWaynhim, wtf is human plasma - it sounds err... revolting!