7 Kinds of Sex

Post by **Queeaqueg** » Thu Aug 10, 2006 7:10 pm

Recent research shows that there are 7 kinds
of sex:

The 1st kind of sex is called: Smurf Sex.
This kind of sex happens when you first meet
someone and you both have sex until you are
blue in the face.

The 2nd kind of sex is called: Kitchen Sex.
This is when you have been with your partner
for a short time and you are so horny you
will have sex anywhere, even in the kitchen.

The 3rd kind of sex is called: Bedroom Sex.This is when you have been with your partner
for a long time. Your sex has gotten routine
and you usually have sex only in
your bedroom.

The 4th kind of sex is called: Hallway Sex.
This is when you have been with your partner
for too long. When you pass each other in
the hallway you both say "screw you."

The 5th kind of sex is called: Religious Sex:
This means you get Nun in the morning, Nun in
the afternoon and Nun at night.

The 6th kind is called: Courtroom Sex. This
is when you cannot stand your wife any more.
She takes you to court and screws you in
front of everyone.

And last, but not least, the 7th kind of sex
is called: Social Security Sex. You get a
little each month. But not enough to live
on.

Post by **sgt.null** » Fri Aug 11, 2006 12:26 am

bravo!

:):):):):):)

Post by **Spring** » Fri Aug 11, 2006 10:42 am

Post by **drew** » Sat Aug 12, 2006 12:45 pm

I dunno..I've been with my wife for ten years now...and we're still fairly healthy.

Post by **sgt.null** » Sat Aug 12, 2006 11:48 pm

well if we are comparing, 12 years and it is much better than when we first started.

Post by **Gil galad** » Sun Aug 13, 2006 4:25 am

LOL, so is the tip to change partners after type 3?

Post by **stonemaybe** » Sun Aug 13, 2006 12:17 pm

LOL, so is the tip to change partners after type 3?

Type 2, imho!

Post by **Loredoctor** » Sat Sep 16, 2006 8:41 am

This thread makes me cry after being dumped!

Post by **Wyldewode** » Sun Sep 17, 2006 5:36 am

There, there, 'Master. I'm sure it's only a matter of time before you're snatched up by a really great woman who will make you forget all about being dumped. And if the really great woman doesn't come along right away, well. . . from my experience

Spoiler

(my fiancé got cold feet 12 weeks before the wedding, and called it off--AFTER I'd moved half a continent away to be with him)

at least time eases the pain. Given enough time, you'll probably almost forget that it happened. Grieve for the relationship if you need to, but don't let it keep you down too long. Life's too short to waste it like that.

Now, if you're just crying about the sex, well. . . I'll just leave you to talk to the boys here.

~Lyr

Post by **Loredoctor** » Sun Sep 17, 2006 6:21 am

Aelyria Mireiswen wrote:
Spoiler
(my fiancé got cold feet 12 weeks before the wedding, and called it off--AFTER I'd moved half a continent away to be with him)

Jeez that's harsh. Sorry to hear, Lyr.

Post by **Wyldewode** » Sun Sep 17, 2006 6:43 am

I'm going to pm you about this. . . I don't mind talking about it, I just think this might not be the place for it.

~Lyr

Post by **Loredoctor** » Sun Sep 17, 2006 6:46 am

Aelyria Mireiswen wrote:I'm going to pm you about this. . . I don't mind talking about it, I just think this might not be the place for it.

~Lyr

No problem!

Post by **[Syl]** » Sun Sep 17, 2006 7:27 pm

Heh. You'd think this thread would make you breathe a sigh of relief that you were dumped.

You seem to be in good spirits, though, LM. Glad to see it. But y'know, being dumped is just about the worst thing that can happen (just behind having your heart broken or your finances ruined). It's cake from this point on.

Post by **Loredoctor** » Mon Sep 18, 2006 12:29 am

Yeah, I'm feeling fine. The situation taught me alot about myself and I really wasnt keen on something long term with her. I really deserve, and know I will have, something better.

Thanks, Syl.

Post by **A Gunslinger** » Mon Sep 18, 2006 1:44 pm

Funny stuff. I have no such problems, however.

Kevin's Watch

Kevin's Watch

7 Kinds of Sex

7 Kinds of Sex