Clumsy Moments

[thefirst]

My most recent of course, is dropping a large glass bottle of olive oil onto my bare foot, on a tile floor subsequently causing this hairline fracture in one of those tiny little bones in my foot, whose name I can't recall. But now, I have this lovely splint which gives me the excuse, "no, I can't go to market, would you please pick it up for me". This is not my most interesting by far, but I think it would be helpful, or at least funny, if we all shared one or two. And I know I'm not the only klutz out there, so please, don't make me stand on one foot by myself.

[Chrysalis]

Ouch! How long is that meant to take to heal?

Thankfully I have yet to break or knowingly fracture any bone in my body. I can be quite accident prone but my most recent moment of stupidity took place a couple of days after Christmas on my first morning back at work. This is the lesson I learned:

I must not play with knives.
Especially sharp, serrated ones.
Reason 1 - they slice fingers open very well.
Reason 2 - this causes much pain and LOTS of blood.
Reason 3 - this makes Chrys feel very light headed.
Reason 4 - this in turn caused her to pass out.
Reason 5 - this panics work colleagues.
Reason 6 - this makes her manager phone for an ambulance.
Reason 7 - this results in 20 questions and special treatment all day.

and all for the sake of a packet of chocolate truffles I was asigned to open.

I should mention I actually don't have an issue with blood usually but had been sick over Christmas so I wasn't on best from. My problem is with needles so I kindly decined the ambulance crews insistance of a blood sugar test and a trip to hospital.

[thefirst]

Thank you for sharing Chrys, I was beginning to feel awful lonely.

[JazFusion]

In high school I was in PE running track. It had just rained and there was a bunch of mud and rocks everywhere. As I was running back with some friends into the gym, I slipped in some mud and my elbow landed on a rock. I got up and announced to my friends, "I'm ok!". I grinned at them, and then realized they were staring at my elbow, horrified. One of them pointed and I looked at it.

It was dripping big, fat drops of blood and there was a hole in my elbow all the way down to the bone. I couldn't feel anything. There was no pain until the next day and then for weeks as it healed. Now I have this big celluloid scar on my left elbow. The nerves actually regenerated, even on the scar.

[Arcadia]

Talking about clumsy, I got pregnant at 43! LOL!!!

[DukkhaWaynhim]

A long time ago in a galaxy far, far away - when I was 13, I was riding my bike home on a hot summers day from the store, balancing a gallon of milk on my knee. Because I wasn't paying attention, I lost control of the bike, hit the curb, and skidded for several feet beyond the bike on one arm and one knee. I skinned myself pretty badly - and got a cold milkbath in the process.
This happened on a busy street, so dozens of people got to see this free show. At that age, the freely bleeding abrasions were nothing compared to the embarrassment.

dw

[matrixman]

My most recent act of random clumsiness resulting in bodily injury: last month I tripped against one of my computer case's side panels that I had set aside, and it gouged my leg. The cut wasn't serious enough to warrant a desperate call to the medics, just enough to be annoying. There's probably still a trace of dried blood on that case panel. Does this mean I now have a blood bond with my PC?

I must not play with knives.
Especially sharp, serrated ones.

Yes, I've got a set of serrated knives and I've cut myself twice on them. Thankfully both incidents were minor, but I've learned to be extremely respectful of those blades when I use them. I do actually like that they're very sharp - that's the point of buying knives. But if you're careless, they will sit there and mock you silently as you bleed in your own pool of abject clumsiness. (I'm getting visions of Thomas Covenant's soothtell.)

[Chrysalis]

I must not play with knives.
Especially sharp, serrated ones.

Yes, I've got a set of serrated knives and I've cut myself twice on them. Thankfully both incidents were minor, but I've learned to be extremely respectful of those blades when I use them. I do actually like that they're very sharp - that's the point of buying knives. But if you're careless, they will sit there and mock you silently as you bleed in your own pool of abject clumsiness. (I'm getting visions of Thomas Covenant's soothtell.)

Usually I am really careful with knives as my mom used to always have huge chefs knives in the house.
The one at work didn't get a chance to mock me, my colleagues hid it for the day and then refused to let me near anything with even a semi sharp edge!

[drew]

Too many;
Just TOO damned many to post here.

Really, I shouldn't even be alive by now.

[CovenantJr]

Oh, I'm endlessly clumsy. Mostly my clumsy incidents are really small - lots of knocking over drinks and banging feet/elbows/hands - so they tend to blur together. I do, however, remember having to pick up a big box of potatoes, adopting a sturdy lifting posture, bracing myself and heaving - blissfully unaware that the box was completely empty. I can assure you, it's reasonably embarrassing to be a fully grown, large-ish man and accidentally hit yourself in the face with an empty potato box.

[MsMary]

Sorry about your foot, thefirst!

My most memorable act of clumsiness was when I was in college, riding my bicycle to class. I stopped at a traffic light to wait for the light to change. While I was standing there, straddling my bike, I lost my balance, fell over, and broke my ankle.

[drew]

Clumsiest, accident, where I DIDN't hurt myself; was one time, I was working in a snow storm; went in to make a delivery, and accidentally left the truck in gear...because of the snow, it didn't start moving right away.
I didn't see it roll away; but when I came out of the store; it had gone diagonally across an intersection and hit the sign of a High School.


No damage.

I just ran up to it, got in , and drove away.

[CovenantJr]

I just ran up to it, got in , and drove away.

I hope you were whistling while you did so.

[drew]

It was like torture waiting for the light to change, so I could run across the intersection.

[sgt.null]

my only stitches

cleaning a window. my hand went through. everything is ok at this point. paniced i pull my hand back through. slice the ring finger on my right finger. don't drive. wrap hand in towel and make the twenty minute hike to the hospital. get there, tell nurse i may need stitches. she nearly faints. the towel was soaked in blood, my pants were soaked in blood. my right sneaker is soaked in blood. the stitch me. internal and external. severed 99% of the tendon in that finger. you can still see the scar.

[thefirst]

Thank you MsMary, I've broken a lot of bones, but thankfully, never my ankle. I can't imagine how that must have hurt. I did once get pinned to the side of a hill by the grape vine I had been swinging on, I was stuck there for twenty minutes while my brother went nearly half a mile back to the house to get my mom.

[Sheol]

A few years ago I was doing a little down hill skiing with some friends. Going through some trees I lost a ski. I had to turn around to get it and put it back on. Just as soon as I got it snapped into place I started sliding backwards down the hill. After a few quick glances behind me I tried to throw myself forward out of my skiis, and away from the rapidly aproaching tree. No such luck. I smashed into the tree and broke my tailbone. I had to muscle myself up and ski the rest of the way down the hill and then ride the chair lift back up to the lodge. What agony. That night we stayed in a cabin where most of us, including me, had to sleep on the floor.

[MsMary]

Thank you MsMary, I've broken a lot of bones, but thankfully, never my ankle. I can't imagine how that must have hurt.

It was pretty darn painful. I was within yards of the student health center, but there was no way for the students who helped me to get me there walking (hopping on the good leg was way too painful, as it jarred the bad leg), so one student went to get his car to drive me over there, while another chained my bike up in the student center. And these were students I had never even met before!

I guess my second most clutzy act was breaking my toe a couple years ago. But that was partly my husband's fault - he left a heavy box of books half under the dining room table and I ran into it with my toe as I rushed by to get ready to go out. Needless to say, the only place I went that night was to the ER, as my toe was not only broken, but dislocated and sticking out sideways from my foot.
I needed surgery to fix it, and it's never been the same since.

I did once get pinned to the side of a hill by the grape vine I had been swinging on, I was stuck there for twenty minutes while my brother went nearly half a mile back to the house to get my mom.

That doesn't sound too fun at all!

[thefirst]

I feel your pain Sheol, I've broken my tailbone, believe it or not, three times. And there is no way in the world you can be cool in high school, while carrying around a donut cushion.

[Wyldewode]

Like Covjr, you could say I'm endlessly clutzy. Actually, I prefer to think that my brain is occupied by things more important than paying attention to what I am doing. For instance, we have a coat closet in the hallway just as you enter the kitchen. It has a big doorknob on it, and I can't count the number of times I've given myself a terrific knot and bruise on my forearm by veering just a bit too close to it as I turned down that hallway.

I've had to have sutures in the ER 4 times in my life (once when I was less than 1 year old--and it was a head trauma!), but the story that takes the cake is when I was about 11 or so. I grew up on a farm. One summer day my brother and neighbor and I were all out in the pasture playing with the livestock. For reasons unknown (other than it seemed like a good idea at the time), I decided that I would take my sunglasses and put them on one of the milk goats. They're really docile creatures, but apparently they are violently opposed to wearing red sunglasses (clashes with their coat, I'm sure). Anyhow, the doe in question turned sharply away and trotted off. Unfortunately I was leaning on her, and when she took off I lost my balance. In an even more unfortunate turn of events, there was a large boulder (probably two foot by three foot) right in front of me. The boulder had a very sharp edge facing me, and when I fell I struck my left knee on the sharp edge, slicing open the entire surface of my patella and exposing the knee itself. We lived over 25 miles from the nearest ER, so that made for a fun trip holding a towel over my knee and hoping that I wouldn't bleed out before we got there. I required multiple layers of sutures to close things up, and was on strict orders not to walk for a certain period of time--orders which I promptly disobeyed being that 1) I was a tomboy 2) I was a pre-teen and 3) it was summer vacation. My knee did heal, but I developed scar tissue on the inside of my knee--on the underside of the patella and on the cartilage as well (I believe). When my knee is straight the huge scar on my skin is quite unmistakable, and when I flex my knee the scar tissue is like a ridge in my knee.

I'd take pictures, but my camera is out of batteries right now.