Food rants.

[High Lord Tolkien]

Things that piss you off [food related].
Let it rip!


I hate it when people put celery in chicken [or any type of] salad.
Hey, stores do it do bulk it up and rip you off because you're paying for celery rather than chicken.
It's a scam, a trick, I hate it.
Don"t do it.
If someone really wants celery in it they can add it themselves.
They won't though.
No one normal will.

OH! and for all those people who make potato salad and *don't* peel the potatoes?
YOU ARE ALL JUST LAZY BASTARDS!!!!!
I hate you all.
F#cking die!
Hey, genius, do you leave the peels from the apples when you make apple sauce or do you leave the peels on the fruit that are going into a fruit salad?
Christ almighty that pisses me off!!
Peel the potatoes!!

[wayfriend]

Why the hell can't they take the tails off the shrimp?!?!

I can see it for shrimp cocktail, as your eating with your fingers anyway. But what the H$$$ do you do with a tail in your seafood alfredo? Or in your shrimp fajita? Or in your shrimp fried rice?

You ever try to hold down a shrimp with your fork and try to slide the tail off with your knife? Trying not to lose any of the good meat ...

GAA!

The worst ones are when they fry the shrimp in batter and you cannot even see the tails. You think, nah, they wouldn't leave the tail on. Then you bite ~~ CRUNCH!!

Take. Off. The. @#$%. Tail.

(I like celery in my chicken salad. Makes it crunchy.)

[Cail]

Who in their right mind puts ketchup on a hot dog? Dirty Harry speech aside, ketchup is nasty, especially on a good dog.

And the next time I'm at a place that serves good steaks (NOT Outback), I'm going to beat the waiter who asks if I want A-1 sauce for my steak and the customer who asks for A-1 sauce for their steak. You just paid $40 for a corn-fed piece of Black Angus, but you want to taste 35 cents worth of A-1.

F*cking morons.

Wayfriend- Right on with the shrimp tails.

[CovenantJr]

OH! and for all those people who make potato salad and *don't* peel the potatoes?
YOU ARE ALL JUST LAZY BASTARDS!!!!!
I hate you all.
F#cking die!
Hey, genius, do you leave the peels from the apples when you make apple sauce or do you leave the peels on the fruit that are going into a fruit salad?
Christ almighty that pisses me off!!
Peel the potatoes!!

The skin is the only bit of the potato that has any flavour at all. I'm in favour of leaving it on, even in potato salad.

[Menolly]

Let's see...

I'm with HLT on the potato skins in potato salad.
Yes, they have flavor.
But they also tend to get slimy and throw the texture off.
Ban the potato skins from potato salad!!

I'm not with HLT regarding leaving celery out of salads.
I am with wayfriend. I like the crunch it adds.
But I do agree too much of a good thing ruins the dish.
Everything in moderation.

Shrimp tails...
I'm one of those crazy few who eats them.
So they don't bother me.
Same with battered shrimp in the shell.

...but then, I also love head-on shrimp to suck on when I can get them.

Cail has the right of it regarding steak sauce.
A good steak, properly aged and maybe seasoned with only salt and pepper, is a gift from heaven.

My gripe?
Lighten up on the parsley in tobuleh.
Again, a little goes a long way, and adding it so the salad is green is pure greed.

[CovenantJr]

Shrimp tails...
I'm one of those crazy few who eats them.
So they don't bother me.
Same with battered shrimp in the shell.

...but then, I also love head-on shrimp to suck on when I can get them.

*gag*

...Correction:

*heave*

[Cail]

Nobody puts ketchup on a hot dog.

[dlbpharmd]

ketchup is nasty

ketchup is definitely NOT nasty, but I agree it has no place on a hot dog.

I used to get pissed off when I ordered a soda at a restaurant and they had let the fountain go bad.....it's like drinking kerosene.

[Menolly]

Shrimp tails...
I'm one of those crazy few who eats them.
So they don't bother me.
Same with battered shrimp in the shell.

...but then, I also love head-on shrimp to suck on when I can get them.

*gag*

...Correction:

*heave*

hee hee hee

Have you ever done mud bugs/crayfish, Cj?

The reason the shells are left on shrimp when battered is that the shrimp tend to remain juicy and plump, and have less chance of being overcooked by the time the batter is cooked. So it's a toss up...

remove the shell before eating
(although I have known the select few who could pop the battered shrimp in their mouth and remove the shell with their tongue)

or have an overcooked, tough shrimp.

[dlbpharmd]

Potato salad sucks anyway.

I agree with WF about the shrimp tails.

[aliantha]

I'm with you on the tails on shrimp. I end up picking them up out of the food with my fingers and sucking them out of the shell, as if I were eating shrimp cocktail. But then, I was born in a barn.

What's the deal with Quizno's bacon fixation? Every freakin' sandwich they serve, just about, has bacon on it.

I rarely eat chicken salad. I have been known to put ketchup on a hot dog in the past, but I rarely do it now. But potato salad -- come on, the peels add fiber! Fiber is good for you! And vitamins, too! Potatoes with the peel are healthier! It has nothing to do with me being lazy, honest!

[DukkhaWaynhim]

Potato salad isn't worth the caloric expense - unless it is German style. That is definitely worth it...

Why do people have to ruin a perfect food like carrot cake by putting nasty, nasty raisins in it? Imagine sinking your teeth into a bite of heavenly cream-cheese frosted, lush and moist carroty sweet smooth cake, when it all comes crashing to a halt as as you encounter a slimy creature-like pustule of chewiness. Ruins the whole thing!

dw

[Menolly]

Potato salad isn't worth the caloric expense - unless it is German style. That is definitely worth it...

I have a German potato salad casserole I make on the rare occasion. Oh boy, is that good.

Why do people have to ruin a perfect food like carrot cake by putting nasty, nasty raisins in it? Imagine sinking your teeth into a bite of heavenly cream-cheese frosted, lush and moist carroty sweet smooth cake, when it all comes crashing to a halt as as you encounter a slimy creature-like pustule of chewiness. Ruins the whole thing!

Hear, Hear!

Nothing ruins a nice creamy rice pudding like a raisin...

[Cail]

Raisins are The Debbil.

Seriously. Take a grape (wonderful fruit that it is) and leave it out in the sun, so that everything good is either burned or dessicated away from it. Raisins are punishment. Raisins make Baby Jesus cry. Ever time you eat a raisin, a puppy gets tossed into a garbage disposal.

[dlbpharmd]

Raisins are The Debbil.

Seriously. Take a grape (wonderful fruit that it is) and leave it out in the sun, so that everything good is either burned or dessicated away from it. Raisins are punishment. Raisins make Baby Jesus cry. Ever time you eat a raisin, a puppy gets tossed into a garbage disposal.

On that topic, why put a friggin nut into anything? Occaisionally I like peanuts or cashews as a snack, but I don't want them mixed in anything that I'm eating. And pecans? Walnuts? HATE 'EM. Don't put them in cakes or pies or anything else. I even pick the pecans out of pecan pie.

[Menolly]

Just for you, dlb...

You have permission to publish this article in its entirety as long as the bylines are included. A courtesy copy of your publication would be appreciated. Please inform writer of your use. mailto:joyce@emersonpublications.com


No Pecans in this Pecan Pie! (618 words)
by: Joyce Moseley Pierce

I used to think I was the only one who liked the gooey filling in pecan pie but hated the pecans on top. That all changed when one of my co-workers commented one day that he, too, hated picking through the pecans to get to the good stuff.

For his birthday, I decided my contribution to the birthday treat table would be a pecan-free pecan pie. I got out my trusty Betty Crocker cookbook and looked up "Pecan Pie." I considered just baking it and leaving the pecans out, but was delighted to find a "Coconut-Oatmeal Pie." Having seen pecan pies before and marveled at the craftmanship involved in arranging all of those pecan halves on the top made me wonder how I would ever place those tiny pieces of coconut and oatmeal on the top of this pie without using tweezers!

Not being one who generally reads the entire recipe before plowing right into it, you can imagine my delight when I got to the part that said to "stir in coconut and oatmeal." I paced around the oven anticipating how it would all come together and to my surprise, magic occurred! The coconut and oatmeal joined during baking to form a beautiful crisp, lacey topping.

Not having the option of tasting the pie before I paraded it through the halls to place it on the birthday table, I could only hope that it would be pleasing to all who might try it. As it ended up, I didn't have to worry about anyone but the birthday boy! He liked it so well that after one piece he sneaked it off to his office and either gorged on it for the rest of the day or took it home with him that night. All I know is that I didn't have to take a dirty pie pan home with me! It was returned to me clean a few days days later.

If there are any of you who share my aversion to the combination of pecans and the sweet, gooey filling, here's the recipe. It comes straight from the Better Homes and Gardens New Cookbook. My copy is the Tenth Edition.

By the way - it's not that I don't like pecans, but for me it's a texture issue. I can eat nuts by the bushel as long as you don't throw them into something that doesn't require chewing!

Coconut-Oatmeal Pie:

3 eggs
1 cup corn syrup
2/3 cup sugar
1/3 cup margarine or butter, melted
1 tsp vanilla
3/4 cup coconut
1/2 cup quick-cooking rolled oats

For filling, in a mixing bowl beat eggs lightly with a rotary beater or a fork till combined. Stir in corn syrup, sugar, margarine or butter, and vanilla. Stir well. Stir in coconut and oats.

Place a pastry-lined 9-inch pie plate on the oven rack. Pour the filling into the pastry-lined pie plate. Cover edge of pie with foil. Bake in a 350 degree oven for 25 minutes.

Remove foil; bake for 20 to 25 minutes more or till a knife inserted near the center comes out clean. Cool pie on a wire rack. Cover and chill to store. Makes 8 servings.

I might mention that if you actually like pecans or other nuts on your pie here are a couple of other variations.

Maple Pecan Pie: Prepare as above, except substitute maple syrup or maple-flavored syrup for the corn syrup.

Peanut Pie: Prepare as above, except substitute coarsely chopped peanuts, macadamia nuts, or cashews for the pecans.

Pecan Pie: Prepare as above, except substitute pecan halves. Believe it or not, they do rise to the
top of the pie!



Copyright 2002 Joyce Moseley Pierce

Joyce is a freelance writer and owner of Emerson Publications. Her latest release is “24 Days of Christmas,” to help families center on the birth of Christ during the holiday season. She is also the creator of “All They’ll Need to Know,” a book that will be invaluable to your loved ones when you can’t be there to guide them. Visit www.emersonpublications.com for lots of good family-friendly information.

...and yes, I sent a link to this post per request...

[High Lord Tolkien]

"How you doing with that burger?"
"How you doing with those eggs?"
"How you doing with those [food]

Excuse me, wtf are you asking me?
How am I doing.....?
What?
Eating?
If I'm having trouble eating are you, the waitress, going to help me in some way?
Chew it for me and then regurgitate it up for me like a mother bird?

No, ask me how my food is.
Or if there's anything else I need.
Or suggest something that is popular.

God I hate that question.

[dlbpharmd]

I hate to be rushed at a restaurant. If the food is good, I'm going to sit there and take my time. Don't keep popping by to ask me if everything is OK, just keep my drink full and I'm good. Oh, and don't bring the bill until you've asked me if I want dessert.

[High Lord Tolkien]

Popcorn usually pisses me off.
I love it.
Buttery salty goodness.
But it never fails that I get a piece of shell jammed between two teeth so that it feels like I broke a tooth or a piece lodged into the roof of my mouth which I can feel for the next hour or so.

[aliantha]

Why oh why can't restaurants serve bite-size pieces of lettuce in their salads? I *hate* having to take a knife to a salad....