What are your favorite FUNNY scenes / things from MN?

[Tefazipipo]

Oh fudge. Now I'm going to have to go back and read that book again, too!

[Cord Hurn]

For me, it was funny when Geraden's rakish brother Stead arrived at Terisa's guest room in Domne convinced that he could seduce her even though he was recuperating from injuries recently given him by a jealous husband.

[Cord Hurn]

For me, it was funny when Geraden's rakish brother Stead arrived at Terisa's guest room in Domne convinced that he could seduce her even though he was recuperating from injuries recently given him by a jealous husband.

I think I should have explained my above words long before now, and illustrated with a quote or two. Certainly, Stead's behavior is presumptive upon Terisa, and it's not hard to see how he inspired a thorough beating from somebody. So, I'm not making light in any way of Stead's uninvited kissing and groping, but after several previous scenes of the demeaning Master Eremis doing such things to Terisa, this seems more like a light parody of an Eremis encounter, with the lamp light burning brightly and Terisa easily able to handle Stead without any help. I think this part of the story in a situational way makes me smile, as it helps Terisa understand her heart concerning Geraden and what she wants to do about how she feels. Further, Stead is not a demeaning person with a superiority complex like Eremis, and this helped me to relax and chuckle a bit when reading this scene. And Stead as a character still is funny to me in a ridiculous kind of way, so single-minded in his pursuit of passion that he's at it again even when he's barely begun to heal. Stead's obsessiveness creates his own punishment.

For the second time in her life, after she had been asleep for a while she felt herself being kissed.

A strong mouth began to nibble on her lips; a tongue slipped between them, searching for hers. a hand just cool enough to call attention to itself found her hip under the blankets, then rose in a long caress across her belly to her breasts. While the tongue probed her mouth more deeply, the hand began to play with her nipples.

Her eyes flew open. In one quick glimpse, she saw the curly hair and intent brown eyes of the man kneeling beside the cot to embrace her; she saw that he wasn't Master Eremis or Castellan Lebbick, wasn't Gilbur or anyone else who terrified her. So she didn't scream. Instead, she swung her arms with all her strength in an effort to fling him away.

One of her elbows caught him squarely on the collarbone.

With a muffled yelp, he fell off her, sprawled to the floor. His arms tried to protect the bandages over his ribs and around his shoulders, but the fall sent a jolt through his fractured bones. For a moment, his back arched in real pain. Then he went limp on the floorboards.

Looking up at her and panting carefully as the pain receded, he murmured, "Terisa," in a wounded tone, "what're you doing? I just want to make love to you. You don't need to hurt me."

Now that she could see his whole face, she couldn't mistake his resemblance to the rest of the Domne's sons. Judging by his bandages, his cracked or broken ribs and collarbone, his crooked features, he must be Stead.

Glaring down at him angrily, she said the first thing that came into her head. "I thought you had too many broken bones to get out of bed."

He gave up sounding wounded and experimented with a smile instead. "So did I. But that was before I saw you in the hall--outside my door. Then I gave it a try. I guess a man can stand almost anything if he wants to badly enough."

When she didn't reply, he asked, "Will you help me up? I really am hurt, and the floor is hard."

Fortunately, he was wearing a pair of light cotton sleeping trousers below his bandages. If he had been naked, she might have had trouble keeping her composure. Under the circumstances, however, she was able to look at him squarely and say, "If you try to get up, I'm going to kick you until you wish you hadn't."

But as soon as she said that she nearly started laughing. She had once threatened to kick Geraden. In fact, she had kicked him. To make him stop apologizing.

"That isn't kind," Stead protested. His expression was lugubrious for a moment. But then another thought occurred to him, and he grinned. "On the other hand, it might be worth it. You won't be able to get out of that bed to kick me without letting me see what you look like. The way you walk makes me think you must look glorious." His grin sharpened. "I've never been turned down by a woman who let me catch even a glimpse of her breasts."

"In that case"--her desire to laugh was getting stronger--"I won't kick you. I won't get out of bed at all." Stead looked astonishingly like Geraden trying to do an imitation of Master Eremis--with limited success. Keeping herself carefully covered with her blankets, she sat up and indicated the lamp. "I'll just throw burning oil at you."

Stead didn't appear to take this threat very seriously. "No, you won't."

In an effort to stifle her mirth, she glowered back at him. "What makes you think that?"

"You don't really want to hurt me." With no arrogance at all, he explained, "What you really want is a man."

She stared at him. "I do?"

He nodded. "Every woman does. That's what men and women are for. First they want each other. Then they get into bed and enjoy each other."

That sounded dangerously plausible. She countered by asking, "What about Geraden? He's your brother, after all. And I came here with him. Don't you consider him a man?"

"Ah, Geraden." Stead's smile seemed genuinely affectionate. "Of course I consider him a man. If you want my opinion, he's the best one of us all. Oh, he isn't half the farmer Tholden is. He isn't half the shepherd Wester is. He isn't half the swordsman Artagel is. And he sure doesn't know anything about women. But he's still the best."

"But that's not the point, is it?" he continued rhetorically. It was remarkable how little arrogance he had in him, how little assumption of superiority. He didn't belittle anyone. "The point is, you don't consider him a man."

Terisa's mouth fell open. She closed it with an effort. Suddenly, the situation wasn't funny anymore. "I don't?"

"You came here with him. He worships every inch of you. If you thought of him as a man, you'd be in his room right now." Nothing in Stead's tone suggested the slightest criticism of Geraden--or of her. His view of the situation was essentially impersonal.

"There must be someone else you want."

Holding her gaze, he began to ease himself up from the floor. Every movement was obviously painful to him, but the pain only accentuated the appeal in his eyes.

"I think you want me," he murmured. "I certainly want you."

There was something of Master Eremis in the way he looked at her, an intensity of interest which hypnotized. And he had distinct advantages over the Master. He wouldn't demean her. He wouldn't do anything cruel.

"I started wanting you as soon as I saw you," he said as he got his feet under him. "Your lips cry out for kisses. Breasts like yours should be fondled until they give you bliss. The place of passion between your legs aches to be pierced. Terisa, I want you. I want to revel in you until your joy is as great as mine."

Upright despite the way his ribs and collarbone hurt, he moved gently toward her.

He had some of Master Eremis' magnetism. And his desire was less threatening than the Master's.

At the same time, he forced her to think of Geraden.

If you thought of him as a man--

Stead's utter self -confidence in this situation makes him funny to me, not scary. I'd already gotten conditioned as a reader to felling nervous after Terisa's encounters with Eremis and Gilbur and Imagery. Nothing in Stead's tone suggested the slightest criticism of Geraden--or of her. Not only is this not a physical crisis or threat for Terisa, it's not an emotional crisis/threat for her, either. She has her breakthrough, here.

[Cord Hurn]

She dropped the blankets. Stead's eyes grew bright, and he reached toward her, but she ignored him. Fending his arms away, she left the bed and crossed the room to her clothes.

"Terisa?"

The shirt and skirt Quiss had given her weren't warm enough to hold out the chill. They were warm enough for the time being, however; she didn't want to spend time looking for an alternative. And the boots helped.

Stead came up behind her, put his hands on her shoulders. "Terisa?"

She turned to face him. "Take me to Geraden's room."

He frowned in puzzlement. "Geraden's room? Why do you want to go there? He doesn't want you. He thinks he does, but he doesn't really If he did, he would be here already."

Terisa shook her head; she knew Geraden better than that. "Stead," she said quietly, "I'm not going to threaten you. I'm not going to kick you.--or set you on fire. I just don't want you.

"Take me to Geraden's room."

Stead blinked at her. "You don't mean that."

Taking care not to hurt him, she moved around him toward the door. Outside, the lamps had been extinguished. She returned to the table at the head of the bed and took the lamp. "Make yourself comfortable," she said. "You might as well sleep here. I won't be back."

She was out the door and had started to close it before she heard him pant, "Terisa, wait," and come shuffling after her.

His injuries prevented him from walking quickly; he took a moment to catch up with her. Then he braced himse;lf against the door and paused to reat. His expression didn't make sense to her. Behind the strain of movement, he seemed sadder than she'd expected--and happier.

"Quiss always refuses me," he said, breathing carefully. "I don't understand that. I've tried to tell her how much I want her. That's all that matters. But she always refuses.

"I have to admit, though"--by degrees, his happiness took over his face--"she certainly makes me think well of Tholden.

"Geraden's room is that way." Grinning, he pointed down the hall.

Now she found it easy to smile back at him. To help him walk, she slipped her arm through his. That appeared to confuse him--but of course he had no way of knowing how much he was improved by the comparison to Master Eremis. In any case, he let her assist him, and they went down the hall like old friends.

Past two corners and down a long passage, Stead stopped in front of another door. "Here," he murmured softly. Then he put his arm around her waist and hugged her. Touching his mouth to her ear, he whispered, "Are you sure you wouldn't rather come with me? No matter how much he worships you, he can't want you more than I do."

Gently, she disentangled herself. "Go away," she replied as kindly as she could. "This is too important."

He sighed; nodded; shook his head in bafflement. But he didn't argue. A bit morosely, he turned and began to shamble down the hall, holding his arms protectively across his ribs.

She waited until he was out of sight and around the corner. Then, before she had a chance to lose her nerve, she lifted the door latch and let herself into the room.

Now she found it easy to smile back at him. To help him walk, she slipped her arm through his. That appeared to confuse him--but of course he had no way of knowing how much he was improved by the comparison to Master Eremis. In any case, he let her assist him, and they went down the hall like old friends. Considering Terisa and Stead's real situation as near-total strangers, I find this funny.

[Cord Hurn]

I find this scene funny, too:

Abruptly, the wardrums ceased.

The absence of the beat snatched at everyone's attention.

After the silence came the hoarse, bleating call of a sackbut.

A rider left the massed front of the Cadwal army. His armor burned with sunlight as if he were clad in gold.

At the end of his spear, he displayed a flag of truce.

"An emissary," observed King Joyse. "The High King wants to speak to us. He means to offer us an opportunity to surrender."

Growling through his moustache, Prince Kragen asked, "Why does he bother?"

"He hopes to see evidence that we are frightened."

"Will you meet him?"

"We will, my lord Prince," the King said; his tone didn't encourage discussion. "It may surprise you to hear this, but in all my years of warfare and contest, I have never had a chance to laugh in High King Festten's face."

Elega's eyes shone at her father as if she were delighted.

The Cadwal emissary was stopped and held at Mordant's front line, and a horseman brought the King the message that High King Festten did indeed wish to speak to him and Prince Kragen. In reply, Joyse sent back word that he and Kragen were willing to meet the King midway between the two armies as soon as the High King wished.

Mounted on sturdy chargers which had been trained for combat, King Joyse and Prince Kragen rode down the valley, accompanied only by Castellan Norge. Before them stretched the Cadwal army, an unbreachable as a cliff. And above them on the ramparts, the catapults watched and waited, apparently oblivious to several hundred men with ropes and four Masters who were already attempting to scale the walls at a number of different points.

At the frontof their army, the King and the Prince waited until they saw High King Festten emerge from his own forces.

"Watch for treachery," Norge warned, stifling a yawn.

"Treachery?" King Joyse chuckled grimly. "The High King only betrays those he fears. At the moment, I feel quite certain he does not fear us. That is his weakness." At once, he amended, "One of his weaknesses."

"My lord King," Prince Krage said like a salute, "I admire your confidence."

King Joyse gave his ally a fierce grin. "You justify it, my lord Prince."

When they saw the High King leave his guards behind, they rode out alone to meet him, crossing clean, white snow unmarked except by the emissary's passage.

At the agreed spot--a long bowshot from both armies--the three men came together. No one offered to dismount; and High King Festten kept some distance between himself and his enemies, as if he expected them to do something desperate. The stamping of the horses raised gusts of dry snow around the riders.

He was a short man--too short, really, for all the power he wielded. He compensated for his shortness, however, by wearing a golden helmet topped with a long spike and an elaborate plume. Between the cheekplates of his helmet, his eyes were stark, as if he had outlined them with kohl to give them force. His beard as it curled against the gold breastplate of his armor was dark and lustrous, probably dyed; only the lines and wrinkles hidden under his whiskers betrayed that he was older than King Joyse-and dedicated to his pleasures.

Ignoring Prince Kragen, he said, "Well, Joyse," as if he and the King were intimately familiar, despite the fact that they had never met, "after years of success you have come to a sorry end."

"Do you think so?" King Joyse smiled a smile which held no innocence at all. "I am rather pleased with myself. At last I have a chance to deal with all my enemies at once. It was only with the greatest reluctance that I allowed the Alend Contender to persuade me to offer you this one last chance to surrender."

If this remark surprised Prince Kragen, he didn't show it.

"'Surrender'?" spat the High King. Clearly, King Joyse had caught him off balance. "You wish me to surrender?"

King Joyse shrugged as if only his sense of humor kept him from losing interest in the conversation altogether. "Why not? You cannot win this war. The best you can hope for is the chance to save your life by throwing yourself on my mercy.

"You may be unaware," he went on before High King Festten could sputter a retort, "that your Master Eremis has offered me an alliance against you--which I have accepted."

"That is a lie!" the High King shouted, momentarily apoplectic. Quickly, however, he regained control of himself. In a colder voice, a tone unacquainted with pity, he said, "Master Eremis is mendacious, of course. But I have not trusted him blindly. Gart is with him. And he knows that I have commanded Gart to gut him at the slightest hint of treachery. Also he is aware that I no longer need him. I can crush you now"--he knotted his fist in the air--"without Imagery.

"You have no alliance with him. And the strength of Alend is as paltry as your own.

"No, Joyse, it is you who must surrender. And you must surrender now, or the chance will be lost. You have thwarted me for years, denied me for decades. The rule which is my right you have cut apart and dissipated and limited. You have opposed my will, killed my strength--you have denied me Imagery. There is no day of my life which you have not made less. If you do not capitulate to me here, I will exterminate you and all you have ever loved as easily as I exterminate rats!"

At that, King Joyse looked over at Prince Kragen. Mock-seriously, he said, "Come, my lord Prince. This discussion is pointless. The High King insists on jesting with us. In all the world, no one has ever succeeded at exterminating rats."

Casually, he turned his horse away.

His dark eyes gleaming, Prince Kragen did the same.

Together they rode back to their troops. The High King was left so furious that he seemed to froth at the mouth.

That was Joyse's way of laughing in his face.

[Cord Hurn]

I also find it funny when Terisa gets Geraden to see the funny side of his being impotent when he's scared for his people. And here, "impotent" has more than one meaning.

But it went wrong, the way everything went wrong for him. He had discovered his talent for Imagery too late, when he was no longer able to do anything about it. Now he discovered her love for him too late, he held her in his arms too late: he had lost the ability to do anything with her. Maybe his own inexperience made him too anxious. Maybe he couldn't stop worrying about Houseldon and his family. She wasn't sure what the reason was--and in a sense she didn't care. She cared only that he swore under his breath and rolled away from her, lay on his back with his fists clenched at his sides and his muscles knotted, trying to withdraw into iron.

She watched him lock himself away from her, and her joy began to crumble. For a moment, she thought about weeping.

Then she got an idea.

With the tip of one finger, she stroked the hard line of his jaw. "Guess what," she said as if they were engaged in a casual and even bantering conversation. "I've just thought of a reason to believe I'm really real."

"I already believe it," he muttered from the opposite side of the world. "you know that."

"But you don't know why," she returned playfully. "That's the trouble with you. You don't have enough reasons. You just have your 'strongest feelings' - you do everything on faith.

"I'll give you a reason.

"People like Eremis say I was created by Imagery. I came out of you and your talent when you made that mirror. But if that's true, don't you think you would have created a woman you could have an easier time making love with?"

She took him so entirely by surprise that he couldn't help himself. As unexpected as a shout, he burst out laughing.

And once he started to laugh he lost control.

"That's perfect," he gasped between gales of mirth. "I'm so confused that when I create a woman to love I make her so perverse she accidentally betrays my whole life. Then she wants to bed me when I'm so scared I can hardly think.

"I don't need enemies. As soon as I stop laughing, I'm going to kill myself.

"Oh, Terisa."

He said her name as if it made him ache. Rolling back to her, he put his hands on the sides of her face to hold her and began kissing her again.

Unquestionably, his kisses lacked Master Eremis' assured passion. But they were sweet and compelling, like the remembered call of horns. And when she remembered horns, the music came back to her.

This time, it went right.

It went right nearly until dawn. When she finally slept, she clung to him like a promise that she was never going to let him go.

At dawn, the house stirred around them, but she and Geraden continued sleeping.

[Cord Hurn]

A funny moment that I usually forget about occurs when Terisa and Geraden are trying to cross the Care of Armigite to get to Orison to warn King Joyse that Queen Madin has been kidnapped. The general seriousness of the conversation they are having makes Terisa's jibe that much more amusing for me, as it comes completely without warning.

For no good reason except that she saw nothing --not even the walls of the city [Batten, the ruling city of the Care of Armigite], once she and Geraden had left the road--she began to think these pauses for caution were unnecessary. They crossed the unmistakable swath of ground which had brought the Alend army to the road--unmistakable because the soil still held the cut of wheels, the gouge of hooves, the pressure of boots--but they didn't see any sign of Alend supply wains or Armigite spotters. She would have preferred the risk of speed to the frustration of delay.

She changed her mind, however, when he came down out of a tree so fast that he nearly fell like the fumblefoot he had once been. Hissing instructions rapidly, he dragged the mounts into a nearby thicket; with her help, he forced the beasts to lie down, then did his best to muffle their noses, prevent them from whickering as the other horses came near.

A small band of riders with grime-caked clothes and eyes made evil by fear passed so close that Terisa could have hit them with a stone.

"Mercenaries," Geraden grated under his breath after the riders were gone. "Men like that-- If they were in a hurry, they might cut your throat before they raped you.

"I thought every mercenary in the world worked for Cadwal."

Terisa was having trouble with her pulse. "Then what're they doing here?"

He shrugged stiffly, as if all his muscles were in knots. "Working for somebody else. Or spying for the High King. If the Lieges send Prince Kragen reinforcements, Festten will want to know about it. He may have men all over this part of Mordant by now."

Oh, good, Terisa muttered to herself. Just what we need.

She and Geraden had to hide twice more before the end of the day, but both times they were able to avoid discovery with relative ease. The scouts or mercenaries expected many things, but they clearly didn't expect to encounter a man and a woman with three horses cutting across open ground around Batten.

In a fireless camp that night in a small gully, she remarked, "I can't live this way."

"What, sneaking around like this? Surrounded by people who would gut us unless they had the good sense to take us prisoner if they only knew we were here? You aren't having fun?" Geraden snorted softly. "Terisa, I'm surprised at you."

Actually, she was surprised at herself. Without warning, she was filled with a sense of how strange her circumstances were. Wasn't she Terisa Morgan, the passive girl who had typed sad letters for Reverend Thatcher until she had lost faith in him and his mission? Wasn't she the lonely woman who had decorated her apartment in mirrors because she didn't know any other way to prove she existed? So what was she doing here?--surrounded, as Geraden observed, by enemies; struggling across country on horseback in a nearly crazy effort to warn King Joyse that his wife had been abducted; so angry at Master Eremis that she couldn't think about it without trembling. What was she doing?

"So am I," she murmured; but Geraden had been teasing her, and she was serious. The night on all sides felt at once vast and subtle, too big to be faced, too cunning to be escaped. And the stars-- She knew in her bones that the city where her apartment was had nowhere near this many stars watching it. "Right now, it seems like there isn't another place in the universe farther away from where I used to live than this."

"Are you afraid?" he asked gently. "We still have a long way to go."

He wasn't talking about the distance to Orison.

"That's the funny part,"" she mused. "When I stop and take my pulse, I get the impression I've never been so scared in all my life. But when I think about where I came from"--my apartment, my job, my parents--"I think I've never been so brave."

After a while, he said, "It makes an amazing difference when you have good, clear reasons for what you're doing. I think I used to have so many accidents because I was confused. In conflict with myself."

She agreed, but she didn't say so. Instead, she said, "Don't get cocky. I saw you almost fall out of that tree."

That made him laugh. And his laughter always made her feel better.

[Skyweir]

Is Mordants Need your fave SRD book

[shadowbinding shoe]

Certainly mine

[Skyweir]

Youd never know

[Cord Hurn]

Is Mordants Need your fave SRD book

Probably, Sky! While the First Chronicles and the Second Chronicles have the greatest nostalgia value for me because I read them years before reading any other SRD works, I think that Mordant's Need and the Gap Cycle are better-written.

[Avatar]

Although I love the Land, the Gap cycle is my favourite in terms of his writing.

--A

[shadowbinding shoe]

What about his new novellas? (haven't read them myself)

[Avatar]

Just finished one of them last night, (Kings Justice) which I really enjoyed.

Started Augers Gambit today, has a bit of an MN feel to it actually, but not very far in yet.

--A

[Skyweir]

mmm ... havent heard of them .. makes note

Is the Kings Justice along similar lines to Ser Visals Tale
I will look out for them

[Avatar]

I dunno, I don't remember that one. It's sorta like Reave The Just crossed with The Killing Stroke. With Insequents.

--A

[Cord Hurn]

I dunno, I don't remember that one. It's sorta like Reave The Just crossed with The Killing Stroke. With Insequents.

--A

I hadn't thought of it that way before, but it kind of fits!

[Avatar]

Finished the other one, so off to Gen SRD...

--A