Let's pretend we're in Hile Troy's Think Tank

[TheFallen]

[Oh God. Yes I do now remember Rus (thanks for that) - and my eyeballs have only recently stopped bleeding.

For your viewing pleasure, I have linked a "discussion" from the past in my previous post.

Thank you for your kind consideration, but I'd rather not revisit scenes of previous anguish. Rus's approach to evangelism was tantamount to placing his target's head between a Bible on one side and the collected works of GKC on the other, popping the whole ensemble in a vice and then continually and relentlessly tightening the handle. On that basis, I'd prefer to have my eyeballs remain in my head.

Wos, in the interests of furthering your education, I have pulled out a typical discussion from the archives:

A typical day in the life of the Close (feat. Rusmeister)

If you really want to earn your title, you must aspire to these goals.

You exhort in vain here, I'm afraid, Stevie. Wos is sadly (well actually, quite the opposite) fated never to get past the mere nursery slopes of the proselytising Everest that was Rus. This is down to missionary technique. Although reaching for many sources (including publications such as My Little Catholic Monthly and The Divine Justice League Of America comics), Wos merely and tenderly sprinkles copy 'n' paste snippets out there to drift gently down like feathers upon the heathen, then runs away. Compare and contrast with Rus's far more robust and single-minded approach, which as you well know involved the non-stop wielding of a giant leaden Chesterton sledgehammer as he strode forth, brimful with righteousness, to smite the unfaithful.

May I suggest you check out the StevieG/Sgt.Null Pink Floyd extravaganza starting here...

Unnecessary - I've already been all over that.

I have to concede a fair degree of grudging admiration for the minutiae-ridden scholarship therein. I still remain entirely convinced of the utter unsurpassability of the Floyd Holy Trinity of DSOTM, WYWH and A... plus okay, maybe about 50% of TW. However as a direct result of going through your and Sarge's über-anal outpourings recently, I will own up to having been nigh on compelled to add a fair few tracks from The Division Bell, Pulse, The Later Years... and even a couple from AMLOR to my personal iPod.

As a side note, I will proudly and firmly place myself on the Gilmour side of the rift. I'm all for the musicality being the overarching goal, rather than the "disappear up one's own arse" grand concept side of things. Although regularly an accomplished lyricist, to my taste from The Wall onwards, Roger sadly fell into the latter categorisation. And yes I do of course realise that is fighting talk.

I quite literally know of nobody who can make a guitar sing, soar and cry even half as magically as Gilmour can. His ability to capture and evoke emotion is unparalleled. Combine that breath-taking and literally goosebump-inducing mastery with Wright's keyboards and Mason's drums (okay, and Waters's basslines and voice during that Holy Trinity period... and of course not forgetting more than honourable mentions for supremely skilled musicians such as Dick Parry and Clare Torry) and that was a spellbinding fusion which in its day attained genuinely unmatchable heights.

However, I digress into Vespers territory here. Let me take up more typical and appropriate Tank cudgels once more...

(Well, to be more accurate and as should be stultifyingly obvious by now, my Tank weapons de choix are the rapier and the scalpel. I'll leave the blunt instruments to the ham-fisted rest of you...)

I really must bow down to your superior linguistic talents.

Both correctly and inevitably - how could you do otherwise?

(you will note however that I corrected your misspelling of the word "childishly". Yeah, that's right, go back and check your post.) BOOM! A linguist has misspelt a word!

Oh the shame! And it's no analgesic to point out that this was no misspelling, but a mere typo. That is still inexcusable carelessness on my part! As a result, I must immediately excoriate myself and mortify my flesh... even to a far more vigorous degree than Wos would have to, were he inadvertently to catch a glimpse of a well-turned female ankle.

Mind you, speaking of typos...

Hugh Jackman, Nicole Kidman, Margot Robbie, Health Ledger (RIP), Cate Blanchett, Rose Byrne, Geoffrey Rush, Hugo Weaving, Guy Pearce...

Leaving aside the fact that I don't think anyone would claim that most of that list are any more than average actors at best (Kidman? Seriously? Whose sole claim to fame revolves around once being married to a midget scientologist who refuses to come out of the closet?), I have to admit to chuckling wryly at the gloriously twisted and bleakly ironic typo as highlighted above.

(Although now I'm second-guessing whether "misspelled" or "misspelt" is more correct...)

The correct form would be "misspelt". The other alternative is a classic American oversimplification. Just like everything else American.

(I could go into an educational diatribe here about how over time, language tends to become more regular - and from a verb declension point of view, more "weak" - but I'll spare you).

I started listing bands off the top of my head, but had to stop... it didn't really help my argument.

You surrender too easily - I was expecting to see at least the joyfully raucous and anthemic AC/DC called into evidence. Now sure, I know that they're not through and through Aussie... but I'd have awarded a point nonetheless. You'd have got a further half point for citing INXS, but after that I was struggling and could only come up (barely) with Men At Work.

Actually, my title was a benison lavished upon me by Cail in his limitless munificence. Ya don't get much more street-cred than that.

You do not indeed and Wos, you should consider yourself especially blessed. Cail had a true gift for the pithily expressed and bang on the money epithet - especially given the fact that he's a mere American - and as a result is much missed. I have even been prepared to turn a blind eye to his unwitting misspelling of the word "flunkey". Needless to say, I have pointed this error out to you in the past, Wos, but both on balance and reflection, I think it should stay exactly as is... in memento Caili.

And you know what? I think you're right... and be sure to put that on your CV. The highest of praise indeed.

It has been added to my signature. There's no taking it back now

As it should be. Only vanishingly rarely do I bestow accolades. As such they are beyond priceless and should both be cherished with hot tears of helplessly grateful joy and worn at all times as a highly visible badge of ultimate pride. It's good to see that you've instinctively realised this.

The best form of defence is attack. So I will revert to my native vernacular in order to counter your argument: fuck you mate.

Quite right too. And as is mandatory, I shall now employ the stylistically correct riposte to all Aussies: fuck you too cobber - and the sheep you're trying to romance.

Plus of course a suitable closing emoji...

[StevieG]

As a side note, I will proudly and firmly place myself on the Gilmour side of the rift.

You surprise me at times - I would not have picked that.

I'm all for the musicality being the overarching goal, rather than the "disappear up one's own arse"...

For some reason, I feel you may resemble that remark which in turn would be wonderfully ironic however perhaps I have misjudged you.

Or...

I really must bow down to your superior linguistic talents.

Both correctly and inevitably - how could you do otherwise?

Perhaps not...

(you will note however that I corrected your misspelling of the word "childishly". Yeah, that's right, go back and check your post.) BOOM! A linguist has misspelt a word!

Oh the shame! And it's no analgesic to point out that this was no misspelling, but a mere typo. That is still inexcusable carelessness on my part! As a result, I must immediately excoriate myself and mortify my flesh... even to a far more vigorous degree than Wos would have to, were he inadvertently to catch a glimpse of a well-turned female ankle.

Mind you, speaking of typos...

Hugh Jackman, Nicole Kidman, Margot Robbie, Health Ledger (RIP), Cate Blanchett, Rose Byrne, Geoffrey Rush, Hugo Weaving, Guy Pearce...

Leaving aside the fact that I don't think anyone would claim that most of that list are any more than average actors at best (Kidman? Seriously? Whose sole claim to fame revolves around once being married to a midget scientologist who refuses to come out of the closet?), I have to admit to chuckling wryly at the gloriously twisted and bleakly ironic typo as highlighted above.

That is really frustrating. I pretty much kicked an away goal against a superior linguistic opponent, picked out a typo, and then spent too much time celebrating, let my guard down, and gave away an easy equaliser. That hurts. Still, 2-1 on aggregate.

I started listing bands off the top of my head, but had to stop... it didn't really help my argument.

You surrender too easily - I was expecting to see at least the joyfully raucous and anthemic AC/DC called into evidence. Now sure, I know that they're not through and through Aussie... but I'd have awarded a point nonetheless. You'd have got a further half point for citing INXS, but after that I was struggling and could only come up (barely) with Men At Work.

Well, I did start typing AC/DC and INXS, then stopped at Midnight Oil and Cold Chisel (partially Australian), Crowded House (same), The Angels and so on. They all seem to be of a similar era, but then again I suppose I am too.

The best form of defence is attack. So I will revert to my native vernacular in order to counter your argument: fuck you mate.

Quite right too. And as is mandatory, I shall now employ the stylistically correct riposte to all Aussies: fuck you too cobber - and the sheep you're trying to romance.

Yes, cobber is Aussie language, but romancing sheep is traditionally a New Zealand occupation.

Tosser.

(Of course, it goes without saying that this thread has all the required immunity from others...)

[TheFallen]

I'll reply more fully when I have a spare minute or two, but in the meantime...

Don't you come the raw prawn with me, whacker. It's all well and good you being sat there grinning like a shot fox, but at the end of the day, you're just a bogan ocker who's deffo not the full quid.

(No immunity needed, because the wowsers in charge won't have an earthly. Bunch of flaming galahs, the lot of 'em.)

[Wosbald]

+JMJ+

[…]

… As a result, I must immediately excoriate myself and mortify my flesh... even to a far more vigorous degree than Wos would have to, were he inadvertently to catch a glimpse of a well-turned female ankle.

[…]

========================================================================================================================================================================================================================

Actually, my title was a benison lavished upon me by Cail in his limitless munificence. Ya don't get much more street-cred than that.

[…]

You do not indeed and Wos, you should consider yourself especially blessed. Cail had a true gift for the pithily expressed and bang on the money epithet - especially given the fact that he's a mere American - and as a result is much missed. I have even been prepared to turn a blind eye to his unwitting misspelling of the word "flunkey". Needless to say, I have pointed this error out to you in the past, Wos, but both on balance and reflection, I think it should stay exactly as is... in memento Caili.

[…]

No less an authority than Webster's — that irreproachably punctilious curator of the colonial-American King's English — accepts "flunkie" as a variant.

Touché!

[TheFallen]

+JMJ+

No less an authority than Webster's — that irreproachably punctilious curator of colonial-American King's English — accepts "flunkie" as a variant.

Touché!

Give me strength...

Could one get less of an authority than Webster? With or without the assistance of Merriam? I doubt it. Last time I looked, the language was called "English"...

Crikie! What an error you've made. At first I thought it might be a mere typo and asked myself "Did Wos miskie?" However, apparently not - so if you want to be a lackie to false authorities and merely jockie for position amongst hordes of similarly misled ignorami, then go to it.

God alone knows why I have to do all the donkie work of teaching you how to spell. You clearly played hookie whenever you were meant to be attending English lessons at school.

Anyhow, if I were you, I'd consult the Oxford English Dictionary, because in citing Webster, you're relying on the monkie, not the organ-grinder. When it comes to the correct spelling of words, the OED certainly knows how to talk turkie.

Quod. Erat. Demonstrandum.

[Wosbald]

+JMJ+

Give me strength...

Could one get less of an authority than Webster? With or without the assistance of Merriam? I doubt it. Last time I looked, the language was called "English"...

Crikie! What an error you've made. At first I thought it might be a mere typo and asked myself "Did Wos miskie?" However, apparently not - so if you want to be a lackie to false authorities and merely jockie for position amongst hordes of similarly misled ignorami, then go to it.

God alone knows why I have to do all the donkie work when it comes to teaching you to spell. You clearly played hookie whenever you were meant to be attending English lessons at school.

Anyhow, if I were you, I'd consult the Oxford English Dictionary, because in consulting Webster, you're relying on the monkie, not the organ-grinder. When it comes to the correct spelling of words, the OED certainly knows how to talk turkie.

Quod. Erat. Demonstrandum.

I'd left you a wide berth, that you might choose the wiser path and exit with some soupçon of dignity. Oh, for your sake, that you'd only taken it.

Have you "proven" aught? Aye, though you've but proven the miserific depth of your penury. Your ostensible "demonstration" merely echoes your mewlingly piteous retreat into a blusterous cul-de-sac with its sad issuance in contumely, that last refuge of the scoundrel.

However, since your vanishingly anguished dissolution into said miasmatic puddle of ineffectually boastful flailings — of which, I might add by way of digression, truly puts the "tank" in Think-Tank — so amply typifies the disposition of a man chronically enfeebled, your post (if merit the appellation "post" it should) ought be stickied so as to sound a klaxon for those simpletons foolhardy enough to dare The Wos's gauntlet.

And with this, I close gracefully, saying no more, lest I be charged with ignobly pressing my evident advantage against the equally-evident ineptitude of the irremediably hobbled.

[TheFallen]

+JMJ+

I'd left you a wide berth, that you might choose the wiser path and exit with some soupçon of dignity. Oh, for your sake, that you'd only taken it.

Have you "proven" aught? Aye, though you've but proven the miserific depth of your penury. Your ostensible "demonstration" merely echoes your mewlingly piteous retreat into a blusterous cul-de-sac with its sad issuance in contumely, that last refuge of the scoundrel.

However, since your vanishingly anguished dissolution into said miasmatic puddle of ineffectually boastful flailings - of which, I might add by way of digression, truly puts the "tank" in Think-Tank - so amply typifies the disposition of a man chronically enfeebled, your post (if merit the appellation "post" it should) ought be stickied so as to sound a klaxon for those simpletons foolhardy enough to dare The Wos's gauntlet.

And with this, I close gracefully, saying no more, lest I be charged with ignobly pressing my evident advantage against the equally-evident ineptitude of the irremediably hobbled.

miserific... if you're going to affect a studiedly archaic tone, then it's beyond foolish to employ 20th Century neologisms. I do acknowledge that C.S Lewis (the word's coiner) most likely must rank high amongst your personal idols, but still, this is a tonally discordant faux pas of the first order.

cul-de-sac... if you have already established the practice of italicising words and phrases directly borrowed from foreign languages (as you have with soupçon just above), at least have the intelligence to apply some level of consistency.

issuance in... that is a clumsy prepositional usage. "Of" would be more appropriate, or "that brims with", if you wish to get slightly more sophisticated.

vanishingly anguished... your use of that adverb is an obvious plagiarism. However, leaving your attempt to bask in reflected glory to one side, you have sadly achieved the opposite meaning of that intended. Allow me to gently inform you that "vanishingly anguished" means "hardly anguished at all". My advice therefore is that, if you are to stoop to the depths of plagiarism, at least first make the effort to understand the meanings of the words and expressions before going on to plagiarise such.

miasmatic... barely allowable. "Miasmic" or "miasmal" would both have been far better and far more elegant choices.

of which, I might add by way of digression, truly puts the "tank" in Think-Tank... your most embarrassing error. Correctly managing nested subordinate or relative clauses admittedly does require a little knowledge and care. Unfortunately, even a simpleton would instantly note that there is no valid nominative subject for the third person singular verbal form "puts" in your own tragically malformed relative clause.

And with this... beginning a sentence (let alone a paragraph) with a conjunction is just about permissible these days, but only if one is striving for an informally demotic or colloquial tone. However the voice which you attempt to adopt throughout your lamentable diatribe is premeditatedly archaic, esoteric and abstruse, as mentioned above... hence this is again a very ugly tonal incongruence.

equally-evident... the inclusion of a hyphen between a standard adverb and the standard adjective which the former modifies is not only inelegant, but also just plain wrong.

All in all, a poor effort and you have clearly overreached in some misguided and outré attempt to appear hermetic. It would be far wiser to ensure that you have mastered the foothills before attempting to scale even modest heights.

[Wosbald]

+JMJ+

[…]

Thanx, Teach.

I'll just leave this here on your desk for your "due consideration".

[StevieG]

Don't you come the raw prawn with me, whacker. It's all well and good you being sat there grinning like a shot fox, but at the end of the day, you're just a bogan ocker who's deffo not the full quid.

A good effort. In reality, there are a few variations that would improve and increase the illegibility of it.

Inclusions such as "get your hand off it cobber" and "one stubby short of a six pack" would add... something ... to it. A la:

Sorry, been flat out like a lizard drinking. Get your hand off it cobber. You havin' a lend of me when you give me a gobful? You're seriously one stubby short of a six pack ya pommie bastard.

[Wosbald]

+JMJ+

I'm just posting this in the Tank as a reminder that I'm no longer posting in the Tank.

[sgt.null]

I'm going to the moderator of a different forum to bitch, because I am a basic bitch.

[Wosbald]

+JMJ+

We now conclude our broadcast day.

[Cord Hurn]

What I have i done to wind up in a thread like THIS?
I KNEW I should have taken that left turn at Albuquerque!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=e8TUwHTfOOU

[sgt.null]

Argument, while based in logic,
is ultimately an exercise in language.
Thus, argument is not exclusively
the study of deductive or inductive
reasoning—these are tasks reserved
for philosophical inquiry. Instead,
argument investigates the communicative
aspects of reasoning. Arguments can be
divided into four general components:
claim, reason, support, and warrant.

[Cord Hurn]

Hile Troy, upon first meeting the Unbeliever:

"Then why don't you get rid of your ring? You talk about your wife in the past tense. You're separated--or divorced. You can't have your life both ways now. Either get rid of the ring and stick to whatever it is you seem to think is real, or get rid of her and do your duty here."

[sgt.null]

why are we in this vast open space where the tank once stood?