THOOLAH has returned to redeem your mortal soul.

A place to discuss the entirety of the Chronicles of Thomas Covenant.

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kevinswatch
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THOOLAH has returned to redeem your mortal soul.

Post by kevinswatch »

Greetings again, my Brothers and Sisters.

The time has returned for THOOLAH to reclaim its former glory.

As some of you may have heard, approximately nine years ago a humble organization was formed here at Kevin's Watch. It began as a fair and noble organization in its dreams and aspirations.

This group, of course, is The Holy Order of Linden Avery Haters.

See this following topic to remind yourself of simpler, less-Linden-filled, times:

kevinswatch.ihugny.com/phpBB2/viewtopic.php?t=8326

Since that origin topic, our membership has grown a thousand-fold. Tales of our tale have been told across the Land!

However, I am saddened to say that since that first proclamation of "THOOLAH!", we have seen seen the conclusion of four books of The Last Chronicles of Thomas Covenant become tainted by the Queen of Inaction, the Chosen of Averyness, She Who Should Never Have Been Named, I speak of course of Linden Avery.

NO MORE I SAY AGAIN!

I have created this topic to spark interest in a new generation of THOOLAH disciples. We have nearly 2000 pages of new hatred of Linden to document and scorn. I speak of course of unforgivable deeds such as:

-Having the nerve to set foot back into the Land and show her face again after swiping Covenant's ring from the floor of Kiril Threndor at the finale of White Gold Wielder.
-Releasing the whinyness of her adopted scion onto the Land.
-Spending approximately 900 pages (I'm rounding down) "thinking"
-Somehow making a metaphor out of unwashed pants.
-Wussing it up during the second half of The Last Dark, refusing to fight, even though she had *just* been given a shiny new white gold ring, which any normal person would have used to blast their enemies to tiny little bits.
-For having the nerve to use her feminine wiles to manipulate Stave and make him think unclean thoughts.
-And, you know, destroying the entire world. That kind of sucked too.

Amen amen I say again to you. Our time has returned.-jay
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Post by aliantha »

Keep in mind who the forum mod is. Just sayin'. :evil: ;)
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Post by kevinswatch »

Keep in mind you made you mod. ;)

:P

-jay
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Post by Menolly »

Me thinks this thread should be stickied!
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Post by MsMary »

All hail THOOLAH!!! :Hail: :Hail: :Hail:


Jay, you are a riot. And I fully expect that this thread will end up being every bit as amusing as the original.

:biggrin:
"The Cheat is GROUNDED! We had that lightswitch installed for you so you could turn the lights on and off, not so you could throw lightswitch raves!"
***************************************
- I'm always all right.
- Is all right special Time Lord code for really not all right at all?

- You're all irresponsible fools!
- The Doctor: But we're very experienced irresponsible fools.



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aliantha
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Post by aliantha »

Menolly wrote:Me thinks this thread should be stickied!
Oh, fine. There. Happy? :P ;)
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Post by MsMary »

aliantha wrote:
Menolly wrote:Me thinks this thread should be stickied!
Oh, fine. There. Happy? :P ;)
Makes me happy. :P
"The Cheat is GROUNDED! We had that lightswitch installed for you so you could turn the lights on and off, not so you could throw lightswitch raves!"
***************************************
- I'm always all right.
- Is all right special Time Lord code for really not all right at all?

- You're all irresponsible fools!
- The Doctor: But we're very experienced irresponsible fools.



Image


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Post by Menolly »

:goodpost:
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ussusimiel
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Post by ussusimiel »

Do I even need to say it?
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Really?
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Okay.
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THOOLAH!

u.
Tho' all the maps of blood and flesh
Are posted on the door,
There's no one who has told us yet
What Boogie Street is for.
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Post by MsMary »

:LOLS:
"The Cheat is GROUNDED! We had that lightswitch installed for you so you could turn the lights on and off, not so you could throw lightswitch raves!"
***************************************
- I'm always all right.
- Is all right special Time Lord code for really not all right at all?

- You're all irresponsible fools!
- The Doctor: But we're very experienced irresponsible fools.



Image


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Post by aliantha »

8O

I'm surrounded. Quick, where's Wayfriend?
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Post by Savor Dam »

Not sure where the Dean of Chrons Scholarship is, but I am here to empathize with you, ali, and to carry the LA banner.
Love prevails.
~ Tracie Mckinney-Hammon

Change is not a process for the impatient.
~ Barbara Reinhold

A government which robs Peter to pay Paul, can always count on the support of Paul.
~ George Bernard Shaw
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Post by rdhopeca »

I'm here as well. I don't hate Linden.

But after reviewing the first page of posts of the original THOOLAH thread, I do have to say, Elena could nibble on me any time she wanted. What's with the Elena hate??
Rob

"Progress is made. Be warned."
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Post by Frostheart Grueburn »

Thanks to TheFallen and his beloved anchovies, I recalled the existence of this other anti-THOOLAH motivational poster (more powerful than Goth Linden). Something that I ought to repost on every one of these sordid threads...:twisted:

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Post by kevinswatch »

^ Hahaha. :P Nice picture.

THOOLAH forever! ;)

-jay
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Post by wayfriend »

That's a great artwork, FH. I had not seen it before.
.
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Post by aliantha »

I hadn't seen it, either. Very cool, Frosty! :) You might want to resize it, though -- it's requiring me to scroll across my 24-inch screen. ;)
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Post by aTOMiC »

This is the BEST discussion thread EVER!!!!


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Post by TheFallen »

Given the undeniable fact that this is indeed the BEST discussion thread EVER, I'm almost beholden to re-share this following snippet, which should interest all true Covenant fans.

Believed to be the only remaining fragment of a long-abandoned attempt by SRD to turn TCoTC into a stage musical, the song below is scored to the tune of "Yesterday" by The Beatles. Enjoy.

Covenant's Lament

Leprosy... I'm not half the man I used to be.
Pieces keep on dropping off of me
Since I contracted leprosy.

Avery... Linden's even worse than leprosy.
She keeps whining on and on at me.
Oh please shut up and let me be.

Why... I... am her beau, I don't know, I'd rather flee.
If I... must... choose between, I prefer my leprosy.

Eternally... there's some loser crying over me.
Jesus Christ, it's Linden Avery.
Can't she just leave and set me free?

Recently... I can't feel any extremity.
Plus Linden's whining is benumbing me.
Please God, let her be munched by She.

Leprosy... my right hand's digits run from one to three.
Just spare me from Ms. Avery.
I'd rather have my leprosy.


THOOLAH! THOOLAH! THOOLAH!

:twisted:
Newsflash: the word "irony" doesn't mean "a bit like iron" :roll:

Shockingly, some people have claimed that I'm egocentric... but hey, enough about them

"If you strike me down, I shall become far stronger than you can possibly imagine."
_______________________________________________
I occasionally post things here because I am invariably correct on all matters, a thing which is educational for others less fortunate.
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kevinswatch
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Post by kevinswatch »

TheFallen wrote: Covenant's Lament

Leprosy... I'm not half the man I used to be.
Pieces keep on dropping off of me
Since I contracted leprosy.

Avery... Linden's even worse than leprosy.
She keeps whining on and on at me.
Oh please shut up and let me be.

Why... I... am her beau, I don't know, I'd rather flee.
If I... must... choose between, I prefer my leprosy.

Eternally... there's some loser crying over me.
Jesus Christ, it's Linden Avery.
Can't she just leave and set me free?

Recently... I can't feel any extremity.
Plus Linden's whining is benumbing me.
Please God, let her be munched by She.

Leprosy... my right hand's digits run from one to three.
Just spare me from Ms. Avery.
I'd rather have my leprosy.


THOOLAH! THOOLAH! THOOLAH!

:twisted:
:LOLS: :Hail: :LOLS: :Hail: :LOLS:

-jay
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