The Last Chronicles - worth it?

[TheFallen]

In spite of being "heartily disappointed" by the Last Chrons, TheFallen yet likes to

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ogle at bathing Giantesses akin to Hashi, stroll in the Care Bears -riddled Andelain to catch a glimpse of the sexy Infelice, and write hawt ficcies about a fan-character of his getting carried hither and thither in the gentle care of Onyx Stonemage beneath the turmoils of the Götterdämmerung. For some reason she also has reduced her clothing to a bootlace and two bottlecaps instead of full granite armor.

I'm afraid I must protest at such vile and largely inaccurate calumny. For the record:-

1) I'd sooner kick a Care Bear firmly in its gonads than pat one.

2) Unlike Hashi's by now well-documented perversion, I don't suffer from gigantophilia - for some reason, the phrase "cocktail sausage and Lincoln Tunnel" comes to mind. (Hashi obviously had an upbringing that was both privileged and twisted - I strongly suspect during his younger formative years that he was bathed often and vigorously by a robustly built nanny).

3) In slight relation to the above, I can reveal the following small piece of dialogue that was cut from the LCs on the grounds of it being R-rated (you have been warned):-

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Bleary-eyed and swaying on her feet, Onyx Stonemage was eventually persuaded to leave the closing hostelry. Suddenly convinced that she should not have quaffed that final gallon of diamonddraught, she scanned the street more in hope than expectation for a cab to take her back to her dwelling. As luck would have it, through a mist of puissant alcohol fumes, she spotted a lone Stonedownor with horse and cart waiting to offer one last ride before his shift ended. Stonemage staggered over expectantly.

"Ho there, my good man! Can you take me back to Revelstone?" she exclaimed enthusiastically.

Recoiling from the giantish bayamo of halitosis, the Stonedownor looked suspicious. "Revelstone? At this time of night? That'd cost you a whole 12 Landian dollars, giantess. Are you sure you can cover the fare?"

Stonemage felt concern for a second as her hand fumbled inside her granite breastplate. Then triumphantly she pulled out a much-crumpled and grubby 100 Landian dollar bill, the last of her cash. "Do not fear, good Stonedownor! Surely I can recompense you with this?"

The Stonedownor cabbie cast a jaundiced eye over what had been revealed and flatly stated "I can't possibly deal with something that big, giantess. If you haven't got anything smaller, you're walking home."

Stonemage looked worried, until an idea came to her. Lifting the hem of her stony tunic high, she purred breathily "Exact same question, good Stonedownor! Surely I can recompense you with this?"

Again casting a jaundiced eye over what had just been revealed, the Stonedownor said "Exact same answer, giantess."

4) Okay, the part about Infelice being an über-hottie is absolutely true, but that's both blindingly self-evident and a matter of the sheerest common sense.

[DrPaul]

-The lack of colorful and interesting secondary characters in the vein of Mhoram and Pitchwife.

I must disagree with the suggestion that Mhoram was a "secondary character" in The First Chronicles. I can elaborate on this disagreement if asked.

[Frostheart Grueburn]

I was wondering whence all these anguished, moaning Care Bears were waddling...come on, now, that will render them extinct sooner than later.

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But I did not ken Stonemage preferred to run commando as well.

Pursuing that perversion cries for courage! Perchance TheFallen is a tad pigeonhearted and secretly envies Hashi from afar?

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I have stated erenow that one will be up to their elbows in the mess, and must ware minor earthquakes when they press the correct buttons. Most rewarding in the end, however.

[Hashi Lebwohl]

2) Unlike Hashi's by now well-documented perversion, I don't suffer from gigantophilia - for some reason, the phrase "cocktail sausage and Lincoln Tunnel" comes to mind. (Hashi obviously had an upbringing that was both privileged and twisted - I strongly suspect during his younger formative years that he was bathed often and vigorously by a robustly built nanny).

No, there were neither nannies nor privileges in my upbringing. Any twists in my personality are entirely self-inflicted, I assure you.

Pursuing that perversion cries for courage! Perchance TheFallen is a tad pigeonhearted and secretly envies Hashi from afar?

That happens from time to time.

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I have stated erenow that one will be up to their elbows in the mess, and must ware minor earthquakes when they press the correct buttons. Most rewarding in the end, however.

yowza

[Cambo]

This is what I like to see- a thread rising from animosity to profane absurdity. As my avatar might say: "There's dick jokes on the way folks, relax."

As for the last Chrons, I thoroughly enjoyed the first two, liked the third, and was badly let down by the fourth. Definitely worth reading despite that, IMO, if only for lore and cool action scenes. Each book, before the last, had a couple of jaw-dropping WOW moments that were alone worth the price of admission.

Make up your own mind, but try not to cling your opinions too close to your emotions. It's Just A Ride, people

[aliantha]

This is what I like to see- a thread rising from animosity to profane absurdity. As my avatar might say: "There's dick jokes on the way folks, relax."

[peter]

I'm for bootlaces and bottlecaps! [and the odd dick joke....no, not 'odd dick', 'odd'...Oh forget it! ]

[Frostheart Grueburn]

I'm for bootlaces and bottlecaps! [and the odd dick joke....no, not 'odd dick', 'odd'...Oh forget it! ]

Mmm...could we also have Honninscrave wearing just a single sock?

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Or the sane Exalt holding his granite sword strategically while striking an alluring pose?

[peter]

I'm for bootlaces and bottlecaps! [and the odd dick joke....no, not 'odd dick', 'odd'...Oh forget it! ]

Mmm...could we also have Honninscrave wearing just a single sock?

Spoiler

Or the sane Exalt holding his granite sword strategically while striking an alluring pose?

Is there no depth's to which you will not sink in pursuit of your art Frosty!

[Cambo]

Seems to me she's more interested in the concept of rising than sinking...

[TheFallen]

Now we know why those crazy Finns spend so much time rolling around nekkid in the snow and whipping their bare-assed selves with bunches of birch twigs. It's obviously a distraction technique, an attempt to halt their febrile imaginations from running ever more carnally amok.

Having said that, we all ought to have some sympathy. Imagination's a very important thing to the Finns, given that they have a precise total of only 6.8 hours of daylight per month in summer (and summer as we all know only lasts for two weeks in Finland). For the rest of the year they're inexorably shrouded in a relentless nitid crepuscularity - no wonder their imaginings are as fecund as they are...



Taken at the height of summer, this souvenir postcard effortlessly captures the atmosphere at the bustling heart of Finland's most vibrant, thriving and colourful metropolis.

[Frostheart Grueburn]

<3 <3 I bow to our Finland expert! Such extensive research into the mysteries of fringe cultures.

Now, behold with awe all that lavish, bedazzling sunshine and color they enjoy in the capital! Alas, for winter has come, and I do not live anywhere nigh the heart of the land. I would post a photo, but one would not discern aught from the grimdark gloom of doom infesting every corner.

Which is why Foamy erotica.

[Hashi Lebwohl]

No need to pay attention to me. I am merely sitting here, quietly drinking my coffee and enjoying the view.

[peter]

No The Fallen, you are mistaken; that is a Cornish beach at the height of the summer season!

[Frostheart Grueburn]

Well this is not a Cornish beach.



We Swordmainnir, particularly Stonemage, felt that the conversation has concentrated too much on the femmes fatales, so Exalt here volunteered to pose for ladies and gents alike.

[aliantha]

He's kinda cute...

[Frostheart Grueburn]

Can one call a male Giant cute? A tub of testosterone on two legs, but...cute? Usually that applies to fuzzy critters and humans of a certain age.

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Now since the glaive hides measurable objects, I shall leave it to the audiences to guess as to whether "Longwrath" encases any further significances...

[hurtloam]

How's this for a consideration?

The difference between The First and Second Chronicles and how we read them, and The Last Chronicles and how we read them, is a combination of SRD being 20-30 years older and many of us (including myself) being 20-30 years older when The Last Chronicles were published.

I think that's an important point. I was a teenager when I read the first Chronicles and had a pretty black-and-white view of the world. I almost stopped reading after the rape scene. To me, at the time, someone who does such a thing was irredeemable. Such a crime taints one's soul forever, in that you can never unrape someone. I would say the beauty of the Land and the power of the story drew me on. All the natives who weren't aligned with Foul were likeable, even loveable, even if Covenant was not. And maybe I wanted to hear an argument for how someone like Covenant could gain redemption. Rape a girl, save a world. They both carry weight. I forget who said that he could accept the Chrons in that Covenant is never absolved of his crime, no matter his subsequent deeds.

[Vraith]

They both carry weight. I forget who said that he could accept the Chrons in that Covenant is never absolved of his crime, no matter his subsequent deeds.

I'm sure any number of peeps have at some point considered/said this. Orlion and I were talking about it very recently.
Redemption, yes.
Absolution, no.
The crime never goes away, or becomes justified/excusable due to final outcome. It is always still being payed for.

[Frostheart Grueburn]

Back to serious convo, I see. Henceforth, strive to keep it civil, or Honninscrave in a sock will appear. And that will be on his left foot, with the full granite lenght of his Starfare's Gem on display.
Or some Care Bears, if I can find one not writhing in agony after TheFallen's onslaught.

Exalt will let you tickle his abs, though!