I'm in a band!

[Worm of Despite]

I'm the lead guitarist--no joke--for a band called Big Wes and the Alan Kirbettes. All of the songs are cheap funny stuff, though, and it's either loud inscrutable techno or guitar playing that can go from extremely soft to thrashing any given moment. I won't give last names, but the band consists of me, Seth (the leader), Joseph (the rapper), and Josh (the something. We're not sure yet). They're all friends I've known since middle school, and we all have the same twisted sense of humor.

Our first album is being recorded at our very computers , using little microphones you hook up. Seth is making the album cover. Just to show the nature of our music, "Pill Bug Blues", a single of ours, has this for a cover:

[[Syl]]

www.apple.com/ilife/garageband/

[aTOMiC]

Foul, What software are you using to record your tracks? I use cakewalk 9 and Sonar 2.0.

[Worm of Despite]

I'd use a program, but we deliberately make our recordings as primitive as possible. We're not a serious band by any means, to say the very least.

All I do is sing and play a guitar into a little microphone hooked up to the comp, save it, and send it to Seth, who is compiling the album. I also put my mouth right up to the microphone and can make some really great buzzing electronic-sounding effects.

We keep all flaws in the recording, and if something sounds too slick we keep it off. One song is Joseph singing about going to a local restaurant and asking a girl out and then doing cartwheels in the parking lot. Nonsensical stuff.

Also, Seth is making an album that will have 87 minutes of NOTHING but static.

[Fist and Faith]

We keep all flaws in the recording, and if something sounds too slick we keep it off.

So then you keep everything?

One song is Joseph singing about going to a local restaurant and asking a girl out and then doing cartwheels in the parking lot. Nonsensical stuff.

That's probably already a huge hit by Rascall Flatts or one of them guys.

Also, Seth is making an album that will have 87 minutes of NOTHING but static.

This one's gotta be John Cage.

But hey, dude, I'm totally stoked for you!

[Worm of Despite]

*Sigh* I guess I better get used to press conferences, so I'll answer some questions from the "little people".

We keep all flaws in the recording, and if something sounds too slick we keep it off.

So then you keep everything?

There was one techno thing that sounded too polished.

One song is Joseph singing about going to a local restaurant and asking a girl out and then doing cartwheels in the parking lot. Nonsensical stuff.

That's probably already a huge hit by Rascall Flatts or one of them guys.

No, trust me on this. Nobody sings about doing carthweels in the parking lot better than Joseph.

Also, Seth is making an album that will have 87 minutes of NOTHING but static.

This one's gotta be John Cage.

Actually the static thing is more in the vein of Lou Reed's Metal Machine Music--just more primitive.

But hey, dude, I'm totally stoked for you!

Thanks!

[Fist and Faith]

*Sigh* I guess I better get used to press conferences, so I'll answer some questions from the "little people".

I'm always so happy when a big star manages to stay grounded. Just like you were still a regular Joe!

[Damelon]

A music man, eh Foul.

Are you going to remember all the little people at the Watch when you make the big time?

[Worm of Despite]

Remember the who?

[Vain]

87 minutes of static?

[Damelon]

87 minutes of static?

Then Foul will charge $18.99 for the cd.

[Worm of Despite]

Yes, 87 minutes of static. STATIC. Genius, I tell you! The Collector's Edition CD will be a 3-disc affair at around 40 dollars a pop. The first two discs will be CDs, which will have a hybrid stereo/SACD mix, and the third disc will be a DVD that has a Director's Cut and commentary. The World Tour will begin this March.

[dANdeLION]

87 minutes of static?

Sorry, Eminem beat you to it.