The Outrageous Analogy Game

[bloodguard bob]

Having screws drilled through the end of your thumbs is like having to kick all the seeds out of a dill pickle while transferring episodes of Charles in Charge from DVD+R to Beta.

[Cameraman Jenn]

Having to kick the seeds out of a dill pickle while transferring all the charles in charge episodes from dvd to beta is like having to rub your tummy and pat your head while jumping up and down on one foot and reciting "The Ghashlycrumb Tinies" by Edward Gorey.

[bloodguard bob]

Jumping up and down and reciting Edward Gorey is like singing Mariah Carey songs while drinking hot sand.

[Cameraman Jenn]

Singing Mariah Carey songs while drinking hot sand is like being clubbed about the head and shoulders with a lumpy chunk of wood while simultaneously roasting marshmallow smores.

[aTOMiC]

Roasting marshmallow smores is like taking a bath in liquid plumber while scrubbing yourself with a barbed wire wash cloth scented with lilac and butterscotch.

[Cameraman Jenn]

Bathing in liquid plumber while scrubbing yourself with a barbed wire wash cloth scented with lilac and butterscotch is like finding yourself three quarters of the way through a hotdog eating contest and realizing you have been accidentally using maalox as a condiment.

[aTOMiC]

using maalox as a condiment is like slathering your bare butt with honey and then sitting on a fire ant mound while being punched in the stomach by a giant, muscle bound millipede wearing 100 pair of boxing gloves. Once the maalox kicks in that is.

[Elfgirl]

Slathering your bare butt with honey and then sitting on a fire ant mound while being punched in the stomach by a giant, muscle bound millipede wearing 100 pair of boxing gloves is like begging to be sandpapered from head to foot by a butt-ugly chippy with tattoos on every inch of his skin.

[Cagliostro]

Begging to be sandpapered from head to foot by a butt-ugly chippy with tattoos on every inch of his skin is similar to the sensation of...wait....what's a chippy? Oh well...it's like masticating a cherry Hostess Fruit pie that someone has masturbated into.

[aTOMiC]

Doing what Caglistro said ( I won't repeat it here) is like sticking your tongue into a live, broken, chocolate covered light bulb while standing barefoot in a foot of standing sewer water dominated by blind mullets.

[Cameraman Jenn]

Sticking your tongue into a live, broken, chocolate covered light bulb while standing barefoot in a foot of standing sewer water dominated by blind mullets is like having the most heavenly full body massage given by the most incredibly good looking massage therapist.

[bloodguard bob]

Receiving the most heavenly full body massage given by the most incredibly good looking "massage therapist" is almost as good as getting to replace all your kitchen appliances with a real lightsaber.

[emotional leper]

Getting to replace all your kitchen appliances with a real lightsaber is almost as good as having a life.

[Cameraman Jenn]

Having a life is like sun and rain at the same time pouring down on your face while standing in a green meadow full of summer leaves.

[drew]

Standing in a green meadow full of summer leaves, makes about as much sence as a bag of rusty claw hammers

[Cameraman Jenn]

A bag of rusty claw hammers is about as appetizing as chopsticks and bowl full of rabbit turds.

[TIC TAC]

Rabbit turds are like taking a ball of twine and dipping it into a bucket full of pizza barf then placing it in an oven at 500 degrees for 35 minutes and then soaking the ball in orange juice for 3 months then gasonline for 5 months then lighting it on fire and then putting out the fire with a bowl full of heavy cream and then smashing the ball with a 10lb sledge hammer. Kind of like that.

[Auleliel]

Heavy cream is like watching a sunset in July, except when it isn't.

[dANdeLION]

Having an outrageous analogy is like having a vice clamped to your forhead while falling from a 1000 story building off a cliff while eating burritos laced with arsenic while dozens od arrows are protruding from your chest due in no small part to the fact that you went to an olympic archery even dressed as a target, with a 3 ton anvil following you down, followed by a battleship, and there's a huge electromagnet on the ground rushing up to meet you at a ridiculously rapid tate, and you can't pull the ripcord to your parachute, because wolves gnawed your arms off, and it's irrelevent anyway, because the parachute bag is filled with bricks; radioactive bricks that have given you a rare form of leukemia, which, under normal circumstances is teminal and inoperable, but in this circumstance is actually the best thing to happen to you all day, next to winning the lottery, that is.

[aTOMiC]

Winning the Lottery is like getting a million birthday parties jammed into your gut while a hundred thousand Christmas mornings are shoved up your butt meanwhile a gazillion first kisses are plunged down your throat while you open a letter from the IRS stating that you overpaid your taxes by $50