Asperger's Syndrome & Autism Spectrum Disorders

[Ki]

hmmmm, interesting. i bet he does that on a daily basis with me. i don't debate well.

[Ki]

New Genetic Link to Autism Reported

Here is the article I was thinking of:

online.wsj.com/article/SB11999321047797 ... lenews_wsj

[Menolly]

Thanks Ki!
Fascinating.

[Mortice Root]

Cool, KiGirl! Thanks for the info.

In a similar vein, this is some info (from a while back) showing an increased incidence of autism with advancing paternal age.

www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/content/a ... 00513.html

[Menolly]

Interesting, MR.

This doesn't apply for our personal experience though.
While I was older when Beorn was born (33), Hyperception was only 25.

[Ki]

Cool, KiGirl! Thanks for the info.

In a similar vein, this is some info (from a while back) showing an increased incidence of autism with advancing paternal age.

www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/content/a ... 00513.html

very interesting. i had not seen that. thanks!

[Ki]

Interesting, MR.

This doesn't apply for our personal experience though.
While I was older when Beorn was born (33), Hyperception was only 25.

look at you, going for the younger man. i'm older than malik too. he teases me about it sometimes. but i make sure to point out that i look younger.

[Menolly]

Oh my, yes.
I definitely robbed the cradle.
Hyperception was 19 to my 28 when we married, after only knowing each other four months.
We will celebrate our 20th wedding anniversary at the end of March.

[Ki]

Oh my, yes.
I definitely robbed the cradle.
Hyperception was 19 to my 28 when we married, after only knowing each other four months.
We will celebrate our 20th wedding anniversary at the end of March.

wow...that is great!

[Mortice Root]

Menolly wrote

This doesn't apply for our personal experience though.
While I was older when Beorn was born (33), Hyperception was only 25

Sure. It obviously isn't going to apply to every couple, but it does raise interesting implications about the inheretance pattern. I believe, this is the first suggestion of increased problems with advancing paternal age (as opposed to the known issues with Down syndrome and advanced maternal age).

BTW, Menolly, congrats on the upcoming anniversary. And I'm totally with both you and KiGirl: A younger spouse is the way to go!

(Oh and Menolly.... love the new avatar )

[Menolly]

(Oh and Menolly.... love the new avatar )

*shaking head*

You guys of the Watch.
I totally did it because dAN said he would only donate his WGDs to french maids.
He was true to his word though.
(and by the numbers, I may have gotten a few more anonymously because of it as well)

...if only I really looked like that...

[Ki]

(as opposed to the known issues with Down syndrome and advanced maternal age).

i thought of that as well. and it would seem intuitive that there would be issues that would arise with the aging male just like with the aging female. though intuitive doesn't really mean much scientifically.

(Oh and Menolly.... love the new avatar )

i love it ....and am intimidated too.

[Mortice Root]

Menolly wrote

Mortice Root wrote:

(Oh and Menolly.... love the new avatar )


*shaking head*

You guys of the Watch.

Hey, cheap thrills are still thrills, right?

(Not that I'm calling you cheap. I'm sure with an outfit like that your house cleaning services would be out of my price range )

[Stutty]

GAWDS! I keep finding these fascinating KW threads. I need to quit my job and just search the Watch.

1st - I scored 14 on the online test, so pretty squarely into the Neurologically Typical zone [and I thought that page was funny and releiving as well]

I have a question for the parents of AS children.

A friend's 8 year old son will be staying with my family for a weekend some time in February. This is the second time he's stayed with us, and I guess what I really want to know is how to make him happy. Last time there really was just nothing to do but let him play video games. It felt neglective. Not to mention, "It's time for bed or bath." Just getting his attention long enough to get that point across was so frustrating. I sincerely do not want to sound like an ass when I post this. I really really want to know what suggestions you have for making the whole thing go smootherish. I suspect that staying in his house instead of ours will be a suggestion, but I'm afraid it's off the table.

Sincerely,
Desperate in Deutchland

[Menolly]

GAWDS! I keep finding these fascinating KW threads. I need to quit my job and just search the Watch.

*soft smile*

Welcome to my life.

I have a question for the parents of AS children.

A friend's 8 year old son will be staying with my family for a weekend some time in February. This is the second time he's stayed with us, and I guess what I really want to know is how to make him happy. Last time there really was just nothing to do but let him play video games. It felt neglective. Not to mention, "It's time for bed or bath." Just getting his attention long enough to get that point across was so frustrating. I sincerely do not want to sound like an ass when I post this. I really really want to know what suggestions you have for making the whole thing go smootherish. I suspect that staying in his house instead of ours will be a suggestion, but I'm afraid it's off the table.

Ok, first "duh" question...

The child is definitely on the spectrum? There is a definitive diagnosis? Parents are willing and open about discussing it? If so, then my first suggestion is talk with the parents. He may have stayed with family members as well who have found things that worked with him when he is away from his family.

Second thing is routine, routine, routine.
Even if he must stay at your home, find out what his typical weekend routine at home is like, and follow that as closely as you can.

Third thing, possible sensory triggers.
Is he sensory seeking or avoiding?
Does he like tight hugs, or prefers isolation?
Is "brushing" part of his routine, and can you learn how to do it from his parents? Does he use a weighted blanket or vest that might give him comfort in an uncomfortable situation? Does he like vestibular input, such as spinning and/or jumping?

Finally, try to find out if he has a perseverance that qualified him for a diagnosis. If so, perhaps endulging him in that would be better than leaving him to video games and the tube.

Here are a couple of articles for you to read and take what you can from them:

Balancing the Tray
Holiday Letter

I hope this is helpful.

[Mortice Root]

I would echo what Menolly said. Doing everything you can to maintain his home routine is going to be your best bet. If the parents can write out a schedule for you, that would be ideal. He's already going to be under stress by being with you, simply because you're not his parents, but trying to approximate the home routine will probably be the most helpful.

Also, I would try to get a list of things he absolutely does not like. Some of the things you would naturally assume to be comforting may not be for him, and may actually be the opposite. So ask his folks.

[Stutty]

Ok, first "duh" question...

The child is definitely on the spectrum? There is a definitive diagnosis? Parents are willing and open about discussing it? If so, then my first suggestion is talk with the parents. He may have stayed with family members as well who have found things that worked with him when he is away from his family.

I've not had that parent to parent conversation (his mom is my wife's friend.) But wifey assures me there is a diagnosis. And I would say he definately displays perserverance characterstics [If I'm understanding the concept, Pokemon and Lego Star Wars for the PS2 I've seen for sure.]

Second thing is routine, routine, routine.
Even if he must stay at your home, find out what his typical weekend routine at home is like, and follow that as closely as you can.

Last time, we left those decisions to the 11 yearl girl that came with him. I think in retrospect, it would be better if Mom got us a schedule.

Third thing, possible sensory triggers.
Is he sensory seeking or avoiding?
Does he like tight hugs, or prefers isolation?
Is "brushing" part of his routine, and can you learn how to do it from his parents? Does he use a weighted blanket or vest that might give him comfort in an uncomfortable situation? Does he like vestibular input, such as spinning and/or jumping?

Interesting questions. He likes to hug, but not be hugged (or touched that I can see. That may depend on the person though.)

I'll have to ask about the blanket/vest and the brushing.

Can you give a little more no sensory seeking or avoiding? I'm guessing if he's an avoider, try to keep things quiet and calm. Not sure what to do as a seeker.

"vestibular input" - did you get that from a Donaldson book? Will have to ask about this as well.

Finally, try to find out if he has a perseverance that qualified him for a diagnosis. If so, perhaps endulging him in that would be better than leaving him to video games and the tube.

Of course as I was posting my original I knew Mom and Dad "should" have the answers, but the fact is you helped me learn what questions to ask!

Thanks Men!

[Menolly]

Ok, first "duh" question...

The child is definitely on the spectrum? There is a definitive diagnosis? Parents are willing and open about discussing it? If so, then my first suggestion is talk with the parents. He may have stayed with family members as well who have found things that worked with him when he is away from his family.

I've not had that parent to parent conversation (his mom is my wife's friend.) But wifey assures me there is a diagnosis.

Then your wife needs to, or you both do, with your wife leading.

And I would say he definately displays perserverance characterstics [If I'm understanding the concept, Pokemon and Lego Star Wars for the PS2 I've seen for sure.]

*nod*

Beorn's was Harry Potter, Dragonball Z, and food. At 14, food is still one of his perseverances. He will literally break into tears if we go somewhere and there is nothing he will even consider eating.

But perseverances can and will change. This is one thing that makes getting an accurate diagnosis difficult. But, if you find any conversation with said child over a three month period or so somehow evolves to the same topics...there is probably a perseveration going on.

Speaking of food, also check if he follows a certain diet when at home, like the glutein free/cassein free diet. His parents may not want to burden you with having him follow such, but if he follows it at home, to suddenly go off it would be...horrendous.

Second thing is routine, routine, routine.
Even if he must stay at your home, find out what his typical weekend routine at home is like, and follow that as closely as you can.

Last time, we left those decisions to the 11 yearl girl that came with him. I think in retrospect, it would be better if Mom got us a schedule.

If you knew of his diagnosis ahead of time, I will jump in and say, "not a good idea." If you didn't, then I would not be happy with his parents. Either way, y'all should have been forewarned.

Third thing, possible sensory triggers.
Is he sensory seeking or avoiding?
Does he like tight hugs, or prefers isolation?
Is "brushing" part of his routine, and can you learn how to do it from his parents? Does he use a weighted blanket or vest that might give him comfort in an uncomfortable situation? Does he like vestibular input, such as spinning and/or jumping?

Interesting questions. He likes to hug, but not be hugged (or touched that I can see. That may depend on the person though.)

I'll have to ask about the blanket/vest and the brushing.

Can you give a little more no sensory seeking or avoiding? I'm guessing if he's an avoider, try to keep things quiet and calm. Not sure what to do as a seeker.

Are you ready for some reading?

Sensory Integration Dysfunction Signs
Raising a Sensory Smart Child
How Does Your Engine Run (this is what worked best for Beorn...still does at times)
O.A.S.I.S. (one of the best sites, IMO.

"vestibular input" - did you get that from a Donaldson book? Will have to ask about this as well.

*blushing*

No...
When you go to the local child rehabilitation center three times a week for four years, you tend to pick up some of the lingo. Especially if you do a lot of reading and research on the various conditions yourself...

Finally, try to find out if he has a perseverance that qualified him for a diagnosis. If so, perhaps endulging him in that would be better than leaving him to video games and the tube.

Of course as I was posting my original I knew Mom and Dad "should" have the answers, but the fact is you helped me learn what questions to ask!

Thanks Men!

*soft smile*

You're welcome.
Yes, knowing what to ask, or even just learning how to see, is a goal of many parent advocates. I have never formally volunteered to be such, but I help where and when I can.

[Menolly]

*shaking head*

Just a note to say that even those of us who think we know our kids backwards and forwards will still have surprises dropped in our laps.

We got Beorn Guitar Hero III for the Wii for Hanukkah. He never expressed interest in it; he has shown no sign of musical ability or talent; and I honestly figured although it was a gift for Beorn, that Hyperception and I would get more use out of it.

Well, that's been the case, up until last week. I have yet to play, but Hyperception has been hyper focused on the game for months, and is loving it.

Beorn has refused to play, but has spent as much time as he could observing Hyperception play when he was not doing homework or other chores. Last week he hesitantly asked to give it a try on easy. The kid now has 4 and 5 star performances on just about every song on the easy level, and is about to move on to medium, and he has not shown frustration when he has difficulty, as I honestly believed would be the case. And he has only played a total of maybe five hours.

So...what do I know?

[JazFusion]

Hi all. I haven't really read anything in this thread, but I hope to soon.

Anyway, long story short, I think my son might be autistic. He's 16 months old. If I may, I'll post my thoughts from my LJ:

It's been deep down inside my core for the last 14 months. I've tried to talk with people about this, but everyone brushes it off. "He's fine!" "Look how well he's doing!" I've even avoided talking with my pediatrician, because I am ashamed. I am ashamed because I am not well-informed. I am ashamed that I may be right.

I think David is autistic. I've felt this since he was 2 months old. There are just certain signs that I would see and I would feel in my gut. He's autistic. I talked about it with Mike once, and he told me he didn't think he was. So for a long time I passed it off as normal baby behavior. Every once in a while I would feel it in my gut, as I was laying in bed, praying that I'm just being neurotic.

I would scour the internet for any and all information, and as the months passed he would hit more and more of the symptoms described. I'd shut the window closed and shut my mind off with it. He's not. Can't be. He's fine. Look how well he's doing.

But I can't deny it any longer. Call it mother's intuition, call me crazy, call it whatever you want, but I can't deny it. There are just too many symptoms he has that coincide with being autistic:

One, he doesn't like to cuddle. I can't hug him without him squirming away. I can't hold him without squirming away. I can't kiss him without him shying away. He rarely kisses back. The most cuddling I can do with him is have him sit in my lap.

He has difficulty expressing his needs and wants. He doesn't point. He doesn't make gestures. He doesn't wave "hi" or "bye-bye". The only way I know he wants something is if he whines or screams. Example: I will ask him if he wants something, say a bottle, and he will whine or cry. He doesn't say "want ba-ba" or "ba-ba".

He has repetitive body movements: one is his hand flapping, and the other is his rocking. The hand flapping he usually does when he's happy, or in his high chair. The rocking he does when he's about to go to sleep, and just about any time lately. Especially in front of his fan when it's on.

He also has a fascination with repetitive movements. Wheels, especially. He likes to watch them turn. Pretty much anything that is repetitive he likes to do. Switching lights on and off, etc.

Monday I'm going to just call the pediatrician. I'm not going to discuss this with anyone.

I just want to know the truth.