A consistant inconsistancy!

[MrKABC]

also-why doesn't anybody ever take a dump, or a leak?

Can you imagine one of the Giants curling one down? It would be comparable to the T-Rex piles of crap in Jurassic Park.

[The Pumpkin King]

also-why doesn't anybody ever take a dump, or a leak?

Can you imagine one of the Giants curling one down? It would be comparable to the T-Rex piles of crap in Jurassic Park.

On that note, how did Linden, Covenant, and the Haruchai use the bathroom on the Starfare's Gem? Any sort of privy facility there would be much too large for them--they'd probably fall in!

[Myste]

At the risk of being too graphic, they probably just hung their butts over the side of the ship. That's how sailors did it before there were heads on ships.

As for the lack of bodily functions in fantasy lit, most lit doesn't say much about it. In one of the Thursday Next books, Jasper Fforde refers to this phenomenon--gives it a name. Too bad I can't remember what it was, but it was something along the lines of "unmentionable assumed activity" or something.

I never worry too much about the bathroom stuff, but I always find it amusing that quest novels with female heroines--even those written by women--rarely bother with "girl stuff." I'm always bothered when a woman sets off on a long journey with nothing but a horse and a sack of food....

[aliantha]

And it's so hard to find Stayfree without a handy CVS!

[Thaale]

drew wrote:

I was just kidding...but really, you never hear about it in any fantasy lit. I mean if it goes into detail about how a camp was set up, why woulnd't a latrine be dug?

Why specify fantasy? It's far more common than not in mainstream lit, mysteries, espionage, etc., not to bother boring and annoying your readers with something so ongoing and basic yet uninteresting. It's the same reason you don't hear much about characters doing their laundry, paying their bills, etc. Unless it affects the story somehow, it's just understood that it happens.

But if you really are looking for latrine-oriented fantasy, try Piers Anthony. Elimination is a constant concern in his books.

As for the original question, a related one would be, what about the condition of their clothes? Your body can heal and get reinjured, but clothes, even tough jeans, that have basically been your only outfit for many months are going to show obvious signs of that wear (or else they're conspicuously not going to, thus proving the Land's nonexistence).

For a while in the second Chronicles aboard the dromond, LA and TC wear robes with their old clothes put away. But basically, they, like TC in the first Chronicles, each spend months in the same outfit. The wear on the shoes alone would be tremendous (even in LFB TC wore his own boots most of the time despite Drool using them to track him).

The only answer is not to think too much about it. In any case, I was always underwhelmed by the supposed proof of the Land's unreality that TC throwing away his knife or growing a beard would have. I understand that if he woke up sans knife (or with beard) that could positively prove the Land's existence to him, but how, if he left the Land with a beard but awoke without it, would that prove anything to him? Wouldn't the possibility that he underwent a mental journey to The Land still exist?

Speaking of clothes, whatever TC was wearing at the end of TPTP (the robe the Unfettered One dressed him in?) it certainly wouldn't have been the hospital gown he presumably awoke in, so why wouldn't that prove or disprove whatever it was that the beard or knife would have done?

[MrKABC]

I'm always bothered when a woman sets off on a long journey with nothing but a horse and a sack of food....

Welllll... you eat the food and shred the sack into strips for the, uh, provisions...

So what did the people of the Land use for toilet paper, anyway? Or was THAT the reason Gilden trees (the "quilted" leaves) were so highly valued by the people of the Land?

[drew]

Here's an inconsintancy on a more serious note-not that taking a crap isn't serious-but how did any woodhelvins survive the sunbane?
OK we know how stonemight did it...but there were others-if all the wood rots during the sun of pestilence-what did they live in?


-I must now appologize to where this thread went with all of the...toilot humer. I have two small boys at home, so every joke I ever hear now, ends in the word, "Poop."

[The Pumpkin King]

Here's an inconsintancy on a more serious note-not that taking a crap isn't serious-but how did any woodhelvins survive the sunbane?
OK we know how stonemight did it...but there were others-if all the wood rots during the sun of pestilence-what did they live in?


-I must now appologize to where this thread went with all of the...toilot humer. I have two small boys at home, so every joke I ever hear now, ends in the word, "Poop."

Maybe the wood they used was really saturated with (uncorrupted) Earthpower or something? And then, when the Woodhelvens themselves became a bit run-down, they chopped them up into parts and made those rickety huts that we saw?

[High Lord Tolkien]

I hesitate to be serious in a thread that talks about Giant giant dumps but here goes:

I think "woodhelvins" was just a throwback to the pre-Sunbane days in name only.
There was no exclusive stone or wood lore villages anymore.
Nassic's house had a blend of both stone and wood (nails too?)

Stonemight, for example, probably just used stone like the Stonedowns to protect against the Sunbane.

******************************

Now, here's the scoop on the poop.
Bowel movements are often overlooked in the Chronicles but it is very important in a "behind the scenes" type of way.

EarthPower enriched food is used 100% by the body.
There is no waste.
The miniscule waste byproducts that are produced by the body are mainly removed by exhaling.
An actual bowel movement is only nessesary every few years and are treated with reverance.
The New Lords have even fewer bowel movements, perhaps 1 every 10 years or so.
The Old Lords averaged only 1 time every 200 years.
Kevin's Sixth Ward is his 2nd (and last) bowel movement.

The Haruchai (which means "fighting while sh#tting") came to the land and
recieved great gifts from Kevin: like reusable toliet paper.
After taking the Vow the Bloodguard no longer needed to have bowel movements at all.

The Giants have the same potty requirements as the Old Lords but also struggle with a certain explosive methane issue.
Hence why they were asked to build their homes as far away from the people of the Land as they could.
The good nature of the Giants in coping with this embarrasment has given rise to many tales and sayings: Bahgoon the Unbearable is the most famous story and goes without saying and every Giant laughs inside when they say "Joy is in the ears that hear" to the people of the Land but leave out the rest of the saying that they say at Home: "and the nose that is clogged."

Now, conversely, the more sinister creatures of the Land of the are the ones with the most troubles with their bowels.

Cavewrights? Cavewrights are such dirty creatures that it takes the largest river in the Land to regulary clean out thier bathrooms. They are filthy animals!

Urviles? Urviles are not only evil because they are SO constipated they are also self loathing because they were created without anuses!!!

And Lord Foul? Do I really have to even say anymore than just Lord *Foul*? I think how he got that title speaks for itself.

[I'm Murrin]

HLT - The problem with the Woodhelven was not that it was called 'woodhelven', but that the houses were built with wood. Where could they have gotten wood in these times? Even if they cut the trees down during a Fertile sun, thesun of Pestilance would most likely give them an awful case of woodworm.

[High Lord Tolkien]

HLT - The problem with the Woodhelven was not that it was called 'woodhelven', but that the houses were built with wood. Where could they have gotten wood in these times? Even if they cut the trees down during a Fertile sun, thesun of Pestilance would most likely give them an awful case of woodworm.

Well, not everything organic melts away in the Sunbane.
Everyone still has clothes and the villiagers are able to store food during those times.
There must have been some Sunbane lore that they were using.
That all the Land was using, as directed by the Clave.

[drew]

I never thought of that...their Blood-lore probebly protected the WH's

[Borillar]

It's always bothered me that in all the post-LFB books, Covenant makes a big point about wearing the same clothes and matching his physical condition at the time he's going to exit the Land, but at the end of LFB, he himself notes that he lost his regular clothes prior to entering Mount Thunder, and exits the Land wearing the moss-stained robe. But he wakes up in the hospital wearing his normal clothes. And as someone else pointed out, just wearing the same clothes isn't going to cause things to align, since the clothes would certainly be in much worse shape after travels through the Land.

[Blackhawk]

also-why doesn't anybody ever take a dump, or a leak?

Can you imagine one of the Giants curling one down? It would be comparable to the T-Rex piles of crap in Jurassic Park.

LOL...... I'm Crying im laughing so hard.... trying to imagine Foam folllower saying "BRB TC...i have to go curl one down........... it hurts im laughing so hard....

Its hard to imagine a hero as heroic if you witness them "Curling one down"

amazing how a little thing unexpected like that could make me laugh so hard..lol

[chant]

One thing I've always noticed, but never made a deal about was his hair. He always noticed his facial hair, but his real hair would have grown noticably in the few months he spent in the Land.

you never heard it from me but-

IT'S A TOUPEE!

[AjK]

Can you imagine one of the Giants curling one down?

I have to admit that this one caught me by surprise, too. Given the Giants extreme lack of haste I bet those guys are on the john for hours. That would have really slowed the book's plot down.

[Rocksister]

SEE??? This is exactly the kind of thing I was talking about when the beard deal came up a few weeks ago. So much attention is put on Covenant's beard, but none on his head's hair. And Linden not complaining about shaving her pits or legs is just NOT realistic, people! She's a DOCTOR, for crying out loud, and personal hygeine is important to her in that respect if not just because she is a woman. Not mentioned. EVER. Nor teeth brushing, and that one got to me worst of all. I'm sorry, folks, if you're going to talk about taking a bath in Glimmermere, shaving a beard compulsively and repeatedly, and not go into the other hygeine at least a little bit, it's just inconsistent. How long does it take to say they wrapped a leaf around their fingers to rub their teeth clean? And what about the female's normal monthly bodily functions? When I read about Jeremiah, I 'bout fell off my chair wondering where he came from. If you catch my drift, based on the 2nd Chrons. Anyone else???? Things don't stop happening to your body in the Land. If they did, TC would not have had to shave all those times. If that's the case, and it certainly was, why was there no mention of Linden's "needs?" They were certainly there long enough for it to have happened. No clean clothes, so what did she wear? How did she protect herself during those times? No one ever has a headache, or a backache, or diarrhea? No one has any strange physical traits? Besides Pitchwife, of course. I know I'm strange.

[kevinswatch]

(Sort of regrets reading this topic...)

-jay

[wayfriend]

Snatching out the Sunstone, Sunder bent his head to Marid's neck, sucked blood directly from the cut. With the stone held in both palms, he spewed fluid onto it so that it lay cupped in Marid's rife. Then he looked upward and began to chant in a language Covenant could not understand.

Around him, the air concentrated as if the heat took personal notice of his invocation. Energy blossomed from the orcrest.

A shaft of vermeil as straight as the line between life and death shot toward the sun. It crackled like a discharge of lightning; but it was steady and palpable, sustained by blood.

It consumed the blood in Sunder's hands, drank the blood from Marid's veins, leeched the blood from the earth. Soon every trace of red was gone. Marid's throat gaped like a dry grin.

There's your answer to the monthly visitor question.

[AjK]

There's your answer to the monthly visitor question.

Wow, in truth wayfriend has a TCTC quote for every occasion.