Homosexuality: Tolerance & Genetics

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Post by burgs »

Malik23 wrote:Having gay friends, or agreeing that gay people should be allowed to get married, or not stoning them in the town square--that's different. That's tolerance.
Tolerance? How beneficent. I tolerate the fact that registered sex offenders live on my street, because there's simply nothing I can do about it. I know where they are (I'm in Chicago, big city-wide database), and I know what they look like.

To say that you tolerate homosexuals is a flat out insult.
Malik23 wrote:but I definitely prefer to hang out with guys where the question of sexual tension doesn't even occur to either one of us because we both like women. I don't want to think, "Was he checking out my ass?" when I turn around.
I understand the desire to hang out with "your own". Gay men make that choice, as do gay women. So do different ethnic groups. It's about what makes you comfortable, where you feel you fit in, etc.

However, heterosexual men just need to get the idea that gay men are inherently predatory and are going to go after whatever the can get, straight or gay, out of their head. Heterosexual men seem to think that because a homosexual is involved, that suddenly they have become the most desirable candidate in the room for that homosexual's desires. That's lunacy. Chances are, 9 times out 10 (not official statistics, of course, just rational statistics), the guy's not interested. After all--he's GAY. While some gay men pursue straight men (in the same way that straight men think turning a lesbian is hot fun, and why porn has so many woman on woman scenes), it should be understood that the VAST majority of gay men prefer to be with their own. That's just common sense.

And hey - if anyone gets checked out by a homosexual, aren't you being complimented? I feel complimented regardless of who finds me attractive.

When I was in college, I worked at Maggiano's Little Italy, the very first one to open in the country. On opening night, one of the most popular, well known drag queens in Chicago, Chile Pepper, was in my section. She gave me a *lot* of attention, and was gracious with her compliments. I wasn't remotely interested in her, but I wasn't offended. She didn't try to stick her hands down my pants...so why should I care?
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Post by burgs »

I want to apologize for hijacking this thread with my initial post to Malik's post regarding tolerance. Lively discussions are always a good thing, but there are some issues that just can't be discussed depending on the passion of their beliefs, and I think this is one of them.

So, here you go. You can have your thread back!

(But I just *have* to say one thing. Call me prideful or vain, maybe I am, but: I'm not desperate for compliments!)
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Post by Zarathustra »

burgs wrote:I want to apologize for hijacking this thread with my initial post to Malik's post regarding tolerance. Lively discussions are always a good thing, but there are some issues that just can't be discussed depending on the passion of their beliefs, and I think this is one of them.

So, here you go. You can have your thread back!

(But I just *have* to say one thing. Call me prideful or vain, maybe I am, but: I'm not desperate for compliments!)
Yeah, that was probably a little harsh on my part. I tend to fight back pretty hard when someone judges me for something I believe is perfectly justifiable.

I don't mind the thread jack. I think this stuff is important. I think guys who are naturally repulsed by homosexuality have been made to feel--by the PC movement--that this is equal to homophobia. It's not. Beating up gays is homophobia. Not allowing them the rights of heterosexual people is homophobia. I'm all for gay marriage. I don't think society has the right to tell them they can't commit to each and love each other. I think that's a fairly progressive and tolerant attitude. It's certainly not conservative.

But at the same time, I don't want society to make me feel guilty because I'm biologically repulsed by the idea. I can't help that. I wouldn't ever try to make a gay person feel guilty for their preferences, so I think society should treat me the same.

Honestly, I'm not sure which attitude someone expects me to have, if they think tolerance is an insult. Should I have open-arm acceptance of something I don't like? I think tolerance is good enough, and all anyone can ask for. Otherwise, you're asking me to redefine my value judgments, which are entirely my own choice to make. (Note: I'm not talking about morality; I mean "value" in terms of personal preference.)

An example of society and the PC movement's success on this issue: people call men who dress like women, "she." Um, no. That's a dude. I call dudes, "he," no matter how confused or inauthentic they are about the biological truths of their anatomy. You got a penis? You're a guy. Clothes do not make a person. Surgery doesn't make a person. If someday we perfect genetic engineering so that people can genetically alter their sex, then I'll change the words I use to describe that person. Until then, I'm not going to bow to their fantasy to be something they're not. I'm not going to be an accomplice in blurring or denying reality. Michael Jackson is still a black man. And drag queens are still guys in women's clothing.
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Post by burgs »

Regarding the tolerance comment: There are a couple of definitions of the word that apply to this usage, and the one that most hear when they are told that their existence is tolerated should explain why it's offensive to anybody, black, white, gay, straight, Eragon-lover, Eragon-loather, etc. :D
The OED says wrote:allow the existence, occurrence, or practice of (something that one does not necessarily like or agree with)
I think that "marginalized" people would rather be accepted than tolerated. There really is a big difference.

You're right - your support of gay marriage is awesome, and from that silly test a bunch of us took regarding how we aligned, Conservative or Liberal, I would never have expected that from you. I judged too quickly, and, it seems, too harshly.

About being repulsed. Many gay men and women are repulsed by heterosexual sex, but I've never known any of them to take that repulsion and visit it on the actual person. When I meet couples, whoever they are, I don't wonder what it would be like to watch them having sex. Unless Brad Pitt and Jennifer Aniston got back together and knocked on my front door. THEN I might wonder.

The other stuff--well, we just agree to disagree. If a drag queen wants me to call her a she, I will. It doesn't hurt me, and it makes her feel great.

(The other thing I forgot to mention: I'm not a pussy either!) :biggrin:
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Post by Charles Timewaster »

Malik23 wrote:I think guys who are naturally repulsed by homosexuality have been made to feel--by the PC movement--that this is equal to homophobia. It's not.
I disagree. Let's try moving the argument into another sphere.

Back in the 1950's, somebody might have said, "Hey, I'm not a racist...in fact, some of my best friends are black people! And I agree that they ought to have the right to vote and get married. But they ought not to be marry white folks; that's just disgusting! Actually, I get a little queasy if I have to drink from the same water fountain."

He might go on to say, "Because it's the 1950's, the Thomas Covenant books haven't been published yet. But I've been reading a science-fiction novel called "The Stars My Destination". The main character is a rapist and a murderer...he's never really punished for his crimes, but he does eventually overcome his base impulses and finds redemption. Parts of it are emotionally difficult to read, but I was able to persevere because there weren't any interracial romances."

Certainly this man has solid biological reasons to be leery of people who are "different". But don't you agree that he should struggle against his biology, and try not to be disgusted by his fellow human beings? And if he's unable to do this, shouldn't he at least try to be polite and hide his disgust as much as he can? And if he's not willing to do that, wouldn't you agree that he's not fooling anyone by prefixing his remarks with "I'm not a racist, but..."

I dunno. Back in the day, if we thought someone was disgusting for reasons beyond their control, we'd try to keep quiet about it (especially if they were in earshot). We called that "good manners", and it was considered a virtue. It seems like nowadays that's called "being PC" and it's a character flaw. I've got to say that I liked the old way better, but I guess you can't stop progress...
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Post by danlo »

Yeah but Gully Folye was about to become the "strong seed" of a evangelical tatooed 8O isolate group of nutcases living on an asteroid. :P Genetics have recently proved that there's no such thing as race...if TC were gay Mhoram would have been in a lot of trouble...and we all know about people trying to brand "Golden Boys" *cough Tom Cruise* as homosexuals...(Star, National Enquirer, WNW and various web sites) :biggrin:
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Post by Zarathustra »

burgs wrote:I think that "marginalized" people would rather be accepted than tolerated.
Oh, I'm sure they would prefer that. But they have no right to expect--much less force--others to like their lifestyle. I have the right to like or not like whatever I want. Just like them. I'm also biologically bound to like or not like a certain sexual orientation. Just like them. Why should I have to change when it's wrong to ask them to?

Maybe it would be helpful if you explained what you mean by "acceptance." Do you mean I have to like gays? Do you mean I have to remain silent when drag queens hit on me? Do I have to pretend that they don't repulse me? What does acceptance mean to you?
Charles Timewaster wrote:I disagree. Let's try moving the argument into another sphere.

Back in the 1950's, somebody might have said, "Hey, I'm not a racist...in fact, some of my best friends are black people! And I agree that they ought to have the right to vote and get married. But they ought not to be marry white folks; that's just disgusting! Actually, I get a little queasy if I have to drink from the same water fountain."
Being repulsed by the shade of one's skin is quite a different thing from being repulsed due to a biological imperative programmed into our genes by millions of years of evolution. Sex predates humans (much less something insignificant like the different colors humans come in). People can change their attitudes about race. That's not programmed into their genes. There's no way for me to change my sexual attraction/repulsion without changing my sexual orientation. Period. The most I can do is tolerate.

Gay people are attracted to homosexual sex due to their genes. Should they try to go against their genetic attraction to make me happy? No. So why should I try to go against my genetic repulsion to make them happy? Why am I the one who has to struggle against my own genetic predispositions just so they don't get their feelings hurt? Being heterosexual means two things: you are sexually attracted to the opposite sex, and sexually repulsed by the same sex. If homosexual sex doesn't repulse you--if there's no biological imperative stopping you from having gay sex--then you're not heterosexual. You're something in between. As a man, being attracted to women means NOT being attracted to guys. That's axiomatic. "Not being attracted to guys" is the same as being repulsed at the idea of having sex with guys. This is synonymous. There's no way to eliminate a repulsion for the idea of guy-guy sex without eliminating your non-attraction to guys. I don't ask gays to not be homosexual, so why are you asking me to not be heterosexual?

Forget about homosexuals for a moment. Think about ugly girls. The idea of having sex with ugly girls repulses me--which is the same thing as saying that I'm not attracted to ugly girls. There's no way I can change the fact the some women are repulsive to me. Literally, it would turn my stomach to think about sex with them. Does this hurt their feelings? Sure it does. Is there anything I can do about it? Absolutely not. Either you're attracted to a woman, or you're not. Sure there are plenty of "just okay" women, women who don't do anything for you, but don't repulse you, either. But the same cannot be said about homosexuality. If you are heterosexual, there's absolutely no middle ground here (unless you're bi, which isn't the same as heterosexual). There's not some men that are, "just okay." No, they are ALL eliminated as sexual partners by your biological preference. I'd rather have sex with an ugly woman than Brad Pitt. And I'm not even going to try to change that. I don't care who's feelings it hurts. Why should I? Do homosexuals change who they are to suit my preferences? No--nor should they.
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Post by Zarathustra »

burgs wrote:
(The other thing I forgot to mention: I'm not a pussy either!) :biggrin:
Ha! You caught that one, huh? :biggrin: My sense of humor can be pretty cruel. I was just razzin' ya, man. I'd treat my best friend the same way.
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Post by burgs »

Malik23 wrote:
burgs wrote:
(The other thing I forgot to mention: I'm not a pussy either!) :biggrin:
Ha! You caught that one, huh? :biggrin: My sense of humor can be pretty cruel. I was just razzin' ya, man. I'd treat my best friend the same way.
That and others. :-)
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Post by Charles Timewaster »

Malik23 wrote: Being heterosexual means two things: you are sexually attracted to the opposite sex, and sexually repulsed by the same sex. If homosexual sex doesn't repulse you--if there's no biological imperative stopping you from having gay sex--then you're not heterosexual.
Yikes! I can't even tell if you're joking or not. I guess I'll play along for now...

Isn't it possible for a heterosexual to find the idea of gay sex unarousing instead of repulsive? And isn't it possible for a heterosexual to think that gay sex is perfectly OK as he doesn't have to participate? (After all, more gay men means more available women!)

I'm not sure that there's really a biological imperative. Sure, gay sex is non-procreative, but most human sex is non-procreative. Are you repulsed by the idea of wearing a condom?

And if this sort of disgust is genetic, why do attitudes vary so much? Shouldn't we see the same level of homophobia in San Francisco as we see in Backlash, Alabama? I've got to believe that the difference is cultural, not genetic.

It's also worth noting that we're "genetically programmed" to live in caves and eat raw meat while bashing each other over the head with rocks. This whole "civilization" business is only about 6,000 years old, so we haven't had time to overcome the past million years of hominid evolution. The Internet's been in common use for less than a generation, but we've already developed some pretty good instincts for using it. It's cultural, not genetic.
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Post by I'm Murrin »

Charles Timewaster wrote:
Malik23 wrote: Being heterosexual means two things: you are sexually attracted to the opposite sex, and sexually repulsed by the same sex. If homosexual sex doesn't repulse you--if there's no biological imperative stopping you from having gay sex--then you're not heterosexual.
Yikes! I can't even tell if you're joking or not. I guess I'll play along for now...

Isn't it possible for a heterosexual to find the idea of gay sex unarousing instead of repulsive? And isn't it possible for a heterosexual to think that gay sex is perfectly OK as he doesn't have to participate? (After all, more gay men means more available women!)
Have to agree there--the lack of impulse towards homosexuality is more than sufficient without needing an active impulse against it.
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Post by Zarathustra »

Charles Timewaster wrote:
Malik23 wrote: Being heterosexual means two things: you are sexually attracted to the opposite sex, and sexually repulsed by the same sex. If homosexual sex doesn't repulse you--if there's no biological imperative stopping you from having gay sex--then you're not heterosexual.
Yikes! I can't even tell if you're joking or not. I guess I'll play along for now...

Isn't it possible for a heterosexual to find the idea of gay sex unarousing instead of repulsive? And isn't it possible for a heterosexual to think that gay sex is perfectly OK as he doesn't have to participate? (After all, more gay men means more available women!)

I'm not sure that there's really a biological imperative. Sure, gay sex is non-procreative, but most human sex is non-procreative. Are you repulsed by the idea of wearing a condom?

And if this sort of disgust is genetic, why do attitudes vary so much? Shouldn't we see the same level of homophobia in San Francisco as we see in Backlash, Alabama? I've got to believe that the difference is cultural, not genetic.

It's also worth noting that we're "genetically programmed" to live in caves and eat raw meat while bashing each other over the head with rocks. This whole "civilization" business is only about 6,000 years old, so we haven't had time to overcome the past million years of hominid evolution. The Internet's been in common use for less than a generation, but we've already developed some pretty good instincts for using it. It's cultural, not genetic.
Sexual orientation is cultural, not genetic? So homosexuals can choose to not be gay? Surely you're not saying that. So if homosexuals can't help the way they feel towards the same sex, why are you suggesting that I can help it?

If homosexuality itself is genetic, then so is heterosexuality. Being heterosexual means being attracted to the opposite sex. We can all agree on that. You (and Murrin) think this doesn't include a sexual repulsion for the same sex. Maybe for you, it doesn't. I acknowledge that there is an entire spectrum of arousal. It isn't black and white. But you seem to think that only one end of that spectrum is genetic (the arousal end), while the opposite end is cultural (repulsion end). I don't think that idea makes much sense. Sexual attraction and repulsion are equally powerful guides in evolution. Both affect the selection process (literally). Therefore, there's good reason to suppose evolution made use of both of them throughout our development.

Are you saying that there's no form of sex that you find repulsive? Necrophilia? Pedophilia? Beastiality? Are you simply "unaroused" by these, or (as I suspect) do you have a much stronger aversion to these that goes beyond the neutral "unaroused" reaction? If so, then perhaps you can recognize that other people, possibly more heterosexual than yourself, have this same reaction towards homosexuality? It's NOT cultural. You could force me to watch Will and Grace episodes for the rest of my life, and I'd still retain the same aversion I have now. In fact, I predict that it would grow quite a bit. :) (God, I hate Will and Grace.)
And isn't it possible for a heterosexual to think that gay sex is perfectly OK as he doesn't have to participate? (After all, more gay men means more available women!)
It's not only possible, but that's exactly how I feel. I DO think it's perfectly ok. I'm the guy who doesn't believe in absolute good/evil or God. I have no personal problem with homosexuals, culturally or politically. Just biologically. :)
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Post by burgs »

Malik23 wrote:
Charles Timewaster wrote: And if this sort of disgust is genetic, why do attitudes vary so much? Shouldn't we see the same level of homophobia in San Francisco as we see in Backlash, Alabama? I've got to believe that the difference is cultural, not genetic.
Sexual orientation is cultural, not genetic? So homosexuals can choose to not be gay? Surely you're not saying that. So if homosexuals can't help the way they feel towards the same sex, why are you suggesting that I can help it?
I felt that Timewaster's comment regarding disgust was in response to your assertion that being heterosexual meant that you have to repulsed by gay sex. And that he is saying he believes that disgust you address is societal/cultural as opposed to genetic.

I agree with him. I would argue that a person's acceptance (or tolerance, which is less preferable than acceptance but better than wanting to send homosexuals to the gallows) of homosexuality has more to do with their ubringing, where they live and have lived, who their friends were, and who they are than genetics.

This is easily verifiable by looking at the historical acceptance of homosexuality, and also the contemporary views. Some countries still stone their homosexuals to death, and many shun them, effectively destroying their lives. In those countries and cultures, it's distinctly cultural.
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Post by iQuestor »

CT wrote:
And if this sort of disgust is genetic, why do attitudes vary so much? Shouldn't we see the same level of homophobia in San Francisco as we see in Backlash, Alabama? I've got to believe that the difference is cultural, not genetic.
Um, excuse me -- I am from Alabama, are you stereotyping people from Alabama as being Homophobes? It certainly seems so -- If so, I really don't appreciate it.
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Post by burgs »

iQuestor, I think he probably picked Alabama as an example of "the South", which historically hasn't been very friendly to homosexuals.
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Post by iQuestor »

iQuestor, I think he probably picked Alabama as an example of "the South", which historically hasn't been very friendly to homosexuals.
... which is a stereotype. His use of 'backlash, Alabama' which is obviously not a real town, and, in my opinion, is meant to include the state, and entire southern US, is offensive.

While I am not gay, I am not a homophobe, and neither are my friends and family, who also live in AL. Alabama is a beautiful state with a diverse culture, and I find such obvious stereotyping offensive.
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Post by The Laughing Man »

so I take it you two won't be watching Deliverance together anytime soon? :lol:


hmmm, what if Ned Beatty was a woman? :?
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Post by iQuestor »

Actually, deliverance was set in LA, and what they were doing to poor Ned was homosexual in nature, so it doesnt support the meme that Southerners are homophobes...

To be honest, i am not really all that offended, but wanted to make a point: Why is it not OK (read: not PC) to stereotype gay men as predators and whatever else heterosexuals who tolerate but dont accept that lifestyle choose to label them, but it is acceptable to broadly generalize southerners (And Alabamians in particular) as homophobes? Did I not get the memo on the double standard?
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Post by Zarathustra »

iQuestor wrote: To be honest, i am not really all that offended, but wanted to make a point: Why is it not OK (read: not PC) to stereotype gay men as predators and whatever else heterosexuals who tolerate but dont accept that lifestyle choose to label them, but it is acceptable to broadly generalize southerners (And Alabamians in particular) as homophobes? Did I not get the memo on the double standard?
Excellent question. And I think the answer is staring us right in the face: the PC movement is largely liberal in its attempt to control behavior and speech and thought. While the PC movement is very concerned about stereotypes that hurt the feelings of people who vote similarly to themselves, it doesn't give a damn about stereotypes or intolerance towards groups which are largely conservative. The PC movement is just a passive-aggressive attack upon conservatives.
Marvin wrote: Bloody hell, the chronicles, for the most part, are completely ASEXUAL! In real terms there are virtually no decisions made by any of the character's, or plot twists that occour, because of Covenant's sexual persuasion. So, change Joan for John, Linden for Luke and imagine that Roger was adopted and it's still the same friggin story-AND COVENANT IS STILL THE SAME MISERABLE, STOIC BLOKE HE ALWAYS WAS. If you think that someone's personality is determined by whether they fancy men or women you're living a pretty sheltered life. In fact, you're probably the type of person that thinks Will and Grace showcases absolutely everything gay people have to offer. Rolling Eyes
The Chronicles are certainly not asexual. The single most important character moment--the moment which haunts the rest of the series--is the rape of Lena. Covenant's healed impotence is a metaphor for his entire character progression: learning to let himself have human passion again (mirrored in Mhoram giving up the Oath of Peace). Would that action be different if Lena was a boy? Of course it would be. Elena wouldn't be in the story. This is NOT a inconsequential difference. Through Elena, Covenant is forced to confront his actions in terms of a living, breathing human. He is forced to confront his act of "possession" in terms which contradict his guilt: Elena loves him. Constantly throughout the 1st Chronicles, he is given forgiveness and respect when he thinks he doesn't deserve it. This situation would be impossible with a gay Covenant, precisely because reproduction--creating living consequences of your actions which transcend generations--has nothing to do with gay sex. Gay sex does not have this trans-generational consequence, so it would have been impossible to use it for such metaphorical intentions.


Who ever said that Will and Grace "showcases absolutely everything gay people have to offer"?? See, again, it's perfectly okay to stereotype and generalize people with whom you disagree. But as soon as I make a generalization you find offensive (i.e. that repulsion for gay sex is biological), I'm an ignorant homophobe who lives a "sheltered" life.

What you guys are doing is telling me that I shouldn't have this opinion--not merely that the opinion is wrong. Not only are you saying that my personal preference is incorrect (which you have no right to dictate), but you're saying that this opinion comes from living a "sheltered life." Your refusal to accept a biological explanation for my reaction is the exact argument technique that homophobes have used throughout history. They have told homosexuals that their orientation isn't genetic, but cultural. This is a classic technique used to denigrate a type of person (as opposed to merely an idea or opinion) whom you do not like. You're doing exactly what homophobes throughout the ages have done. Except now you feel that liberal society has "sanctified" your belief to the level that such ad hominem judgmentalism is perfectly justified.

You guys can try to make me feel guilty for thinking sex with guys is gross all you want. My culpability isn't the issue--that's just an ad hominem diversion tactic. Your arguments are about control, not reason. You're trying to control the way I feel by telling me I shouldn't feel this way. It is just part of this "PC movement" I was talking about, where if you can't win an argument with reason, you try to redefine the issue into one of personal culpability. I think that if anyone's reactions are culturally influenced, it's yours. You've bought into the notion that you must feel guilty for your natural, biological repulsion of man-on-man sex, and you've adjusted your language and beliefs according to what your political party expects of you. This type of thought control has zero effect on me, because I feel no guilt for perfectly normal, biological reactions. I do not let guilt or the judgment of strangers control my beliefs. What a silly, weak way to arrive at a world-view.

If you really believe that evolution could not make use of "biological repulsion" as a selective factor, then you've got to explain why this is impossible. It's such a strong behavioral motivator--in the area of our single most relevant evolutionary behavior: sex--that it's ridiculous to think that evolution wouldn't have taken advantage of it. That's like saying that evolution doesn't use sensations of pain in order to guide animals away from behaviors which can cause injury. Your PC dogma is nearly "religious" in its willingness to look past reason in order to enforce a purely cultural interpretation of biology. Your dogma is based on how you think people should act, rather than how it makes sense for people to act (in terms of evolution and natural selection) or, indeed, how people have acted throughout history. (It's not a coincidence that repulsion for gay sex appears all throughout history across every culture: it is a biological reaction which transcends culture.) You think homosexuals should be treated with respect, therefore you conclude, based upon nothing more than that moral judgment, that a repulsion towards gay sex cannot be biological in nature. Ridiculous. Biological facts are not decided based on how you think people should behave.
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Malik23 wrote: You guys can try to make me feel guilty for thinking sex with guys is gross all you want. My culpability isn't the issue--that's just an ad hominem diversion tactic. Your arguments are about control, not reason. You're trying to control the way I feel by telling me I shouldn't feel this way. It is just part of this "PC movement" I was talking about, where if you can't win an argument with reason, you try to redefine the issue into one of personal culpability. I think that if anyone's reactions are culturally influenced, it's yours. You've bought into the notion that you must feel guilty for your natural, biological repulsion of man-on-man sex, and you've adjusted your language and beliefs according to what your political party expects of you.
Why are you having so much trouble making the distinction between explicit 'man-on-man' sex (which I DO think most straight men have a biological aversion to, me included) and the fact that for 95% of the rest of the time gay men are NOT having sex and are just like every other straight person?
A large part of enjoying a novel comes from being able to put yourself in the head of the character(s). You find things about them you can empathize with.

Bottom line; are you saying that you cannot empathize with a gay character regardless? Even if that character's sexual preference has little or nothing to do with his story arc. If John Mclane was trying to get home to his boyfriend for christmas you wouldn't have watched Die Hard?! If Tolkien had announced on his death bed that Sam and Frodo had been surreptitiously 'sharing' the same sleeping bag on the way to Mordor that would have rendered all his work void to you? Spin it how you want, that's homophobic.
It'd take you a long time to blow up or shoot all the sheep in this country, but one diseased banana...could kill 'em all.

I didn't even know sheep ate bananas.
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