Stephen C. McKinney Memorial Thread (1969-2001)

Post by **Furls Fire** » Sat Nov 28, 2009 2:24 pm

I have no idea who I am anymore...Foul, Fist, dAn, Hig...Wait...Hig??? No way!! And I'm certainly NOT Juan...

Wait...I do get alot of headaches. Perhaps they are all warring with each other.

I'm getting a complex....

YouTube · Post by **Menolly** » Sat Nov 28, 2009 2:32 pm

...now my sides are starting to hurt from laughing...

Post by **Dragonlily** » Sat Nov 28, 2009 6:09 pm

Post by **Worm of Despite** » Sat Nov 28, 2009 8:35 pm

It's weird...I had this dream I was at some nice, art deco house with maybe Joy, then Furls and someone else was pulling up in an Escalade. I was like, Oh my gosh! and excited to meet her, hope my hair's okay, then I walked down the hall through a curtain and there was a math and science textbook fair...which I couldn't escape from... Yeah.

Post by **Fist and Faith** » Sun Nov 29, 2009 12:00 am

The best line in M*A*S*H history was in the episode when Hawkeye and Trapper needed to order supplies, which they intended to give to the orphanage. Of course, the US Army isn't supposed to do that, so they'd get in trouble. So they invented Captain Tuttle. Hawkeye had an imaginary friend as a child called Tuttle. "Who broke that?" "Tuttle did." They made out personnel files and everything, with description and history and education, etc. They ordered the supplies in his name, then gave them to the orphanage. Well, things got a little crazy. In the end, they had to tell a story about how he died parachuting behind enemy lines to help some wounded. Body couldn't be recovered that way.

So Trapper asked Hawkeye how he ever made up this Tuttle character:

"What do you mean 'made up'?"

"Don't try to con me. He's a figment of your imagination."

"What makes you think you're not?"

Post by **Furls Fire** » Sun Nov 29, 2009 2:05 am

I was in an Escalade? Odd...a couple of years back we were looking at those because our lease ran out on the Seqouia we had. We didn't get the Escalade we got another Seqouia instead. Was it a silver one?

And I love MASH too Fisty, and remember that episode. We actually got MASH on DVD.

Okay, I got a journal entry from Stephen to put up. He wasn't quite 14 at the time, but considering my experiences of late, I thought it would be a good one to post.

nothing there resembles here...

Post by **Worm of Despite** » Sun Nov 29, 2009 2:08 am

Furls Fire wrote:I was in an Escalade? Odd...a couple of years back we were looking at those because our lease ran out on the Seqouia we had. We didn't get the Escalade we got another Seqouia instead. Was it a silver one?

Nah it was black. You were in the passenger seat with blond hair, and later when I got lost in the book fair (which was magically attached the house), I mistook some other woman with blond hair for you and started hugging her.

And for some reason it took the longest time to try to leave that place, and I never did--just woke up.

Some folks have important dreams...mine are just...Foul.

Post by **Stephen C** » Sun Nov 29, 2009 2:11 am

April 28, 1983 11:09 pm

I bet no one heard this one before. The one about the other places being gained by just nodding in their direction. The other places being so far away, so far. And if I had heard of them before all this, I probably would have just laughed and said, “that’s insane.” Insane. Beyond the best logic, below the bottom, above the highest point, the other places beckon. And I could jump, I could whisper, I could reach, and I would be there. There. What is there? Who is there? Nothing there resembles here.

Life once made sense, as much as it could, and I could talk about what I heard and saw as I lived it. The sky, the earth, the way the sun ascended and descended marking each day and night. Childhood made sense. Childhood, I have barely left it, barely lost that innocence, barely lost that…

In the other places, time marks nothing. Walking there, sun, earth, sky, day, night do not exist. Nothing there resembles here. Color fuses, makes a shade the spectrum reconciles as false, null. Voids of darkness coexist in the bright fusions and the music is not merely beautiful but transcendent beyond the greatest of all symphonies. It sings its glorious song to my soul and my soul falls under the weight of splendor. And I fall to my knees, but there is no ground, no base, no gravity, nothing to hold me in position. The other places float, buoyant as if on waters and yet there is no water. And the winds chime out the music and the voices within are foreign when they intone of the mysteries they keep.

I fear blinking, I fear breathing, I fear moving…leaving as simply as I entered. And my mind cackles at me, telling me it’s insane to fear this. You are not really there, you are not anywhere but where you lay. I tell it to stop. Stop stop stop. Do not steal this joy from me! And at once, all bets are off and I lose it. My mind says “pay up” and my soul weeps for the music…

Post by **Fire Daughter** » Sun Nov 29, 2009 4:27 pm

April of 1983, just a couple of weeks after this entry, Uncle Steve was hit by the car that ultimately led to AIDS.

Do not steal this joy from me!

With so much happening right now, those words cut so deep. Do not steal this joy from me...please.

Post by **danlo** » Mon Nov 30, 2009 3:02 am

I'm sure I've never said it before, but I love you Furlsy...

Post by **Fist and Faith** » Mon Nov 30, 2009 3:14 am

Had Steve recently had an experience that brought this entry on?

Post by **Harley Guy** » Tue Dec 01, 2009 12:55 am

Took Trace down for chemo today, she got quite sick with it and is down. We will be going back on weds to do radiation treatments. We are praying that doing the treatments was the right decision. She's so weak to begin with and this just takes what little strength she has right out of her.

Thank you all again for all your prayers. God bless.

Post by **Dromond** » Tue Dec 01, 2009 1:09 am

Thanks for the update. Sorry she's feeling so bad.

Post by **Fist and Faith** » Tue Dec 01, 2009 1:15 am

Be strong, Tracie! We love you! And it's only your body that's having a rough time, eh?

Post by **Avatar** » Tue Dec 01, 2009 4:34 pm

Thinking of ya Furls.

--A

Post by **Furls Fire** » Tue Dec 01, 2009 5:40 pm

Ah, this too shall pass.

I love you all too.

And look at this...

news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20091201/ap_on_bi_ge/af_south_africa_aids

We are getting there...

Fisty wrote:Had Steve recently had an experience that brought this entry on?

In a word...Yes.

He spoke of feeling like he was "merging" (his word) with a part of him that was beyond our existence. Now, remember, he was 13 at the time. He spoke of "swirling mists of odd color and darkness" and he spoke of something about to happen to him that would be very hard for him to "come out the other side of." Of course, now I know he was speaking of the accident which occured in May of 83.

Post by **Fist and Faith** » Tue Dec 01, 2009 9:42 pm

Well, as I said elsewhere, today is my 7th anniversary at the Watch. There have been three aspects of my time here that have been the most enjoyable to me.

Currently, and for several months, Pantheon has been the biggest part. I have more fun there than I can say!

The early discussions about TCTC (A good deal of that with you, Tracie, when you joined less than a year after me.) was how it began. What an amazing thing to find this place, with all these people who felt the same way I did about these books that were so important to me!

The third aspect that has been so important to me as a Watcher has been this thread. It's been extremely important to my life, as a matter of fact. This thread, all the people in it, and Tracie in particular, have been a joy seldom equalled in my life. The amazing attitude here, where we can share our thoughts, beliefs, and feelings, without worrying that it will be challenged, but merely celebrated... The love and friendship always offered... All this that we've all arrived at, but through different paths/methods. The Watch is a place unlike any other on the internet, and the Stephen C thread is a place unlike any other on the Watch. I'm very grateful to you, Tracie, for starting it, and to everyone who has participated here. From Sky in the very beginning to all the newer folks here now. Thank you all for making the Watch such a fantastic place.

Post by **Dromond** » Tue Dec 01, 2009 10:18 pm

Hear, hear!

Post by **Worm of Despite** » Tue Dec 01, 2009 11:55 pm

I'm glad to be a mod of this forum! To know a fellow writer poured his heart and soul and touched so many... His song will not be forgot! I never thought such pure hearts existed, but now I know Stephen, Isaiah, Alex, Furls (talked to her on Facebook today), Brooke, Mr. Furls and the rest of the fam. If ever there was a testament to the power of faith, this is it!

And Fist, you're an incredible Watcher yourself. Very modest to leave yourself out of what makes this community so vibrant and "urgent with life" and compassion.

I miss our old exchanges, but Pantheon just isn't for me I spose. I can't follow you everywhere.

Post by **Furls Fire** » Wed Dec 02, 2009 3:01 am

Words elude me at the moment.

I've been very nostalgic lately, looking at old threads and remembering the discussions we all had about the giants and bloodguard...and the infamous Kevin debate (which i'm right about).

It's amazing how fast the time has gone by. So much has happened since I joined Kevin's Watch, but one thing remains the same, and that's the love I feel when I come here. The feeling of family and the joy of being together. Starting Stephen's thread was one of the best things I have ever done, and if I had it to do all over again, I wouldn't hesitate for one second.

And to all the members who have graced this thread with your presence...I love you all. This is what Stephen's life was all about, bringing people together and helping those in need. He's still doing it. Isaiah, Alex...all those that come here and draw strength from his journals. My brother's work continues. It continues through me and now, through my children.