Sweet Grace: From the journal pages of Furls Fire
Moderators: deer of the dawn, Furls Fire
-
SoulBiter
- The Gap Into Spam
- Posts: 9279
- Joined: Wed Jun 02, 2004 2:02 am
- Has thanked: 79 times
- Been thanked: 13 times
We all touch so many lives in so many ways without ever knowing it. Very few quite so noticeably than the way Tracy reached out and touched Isaiah's life along with so many others. What she brought to them was peace and a future (not a future in this world). What she brought to others was her example which touched so many more. By touching others in this way she may very well have created a domino effect which may save many others at some point.
We miss you Tracie but your Spirit will always shine brightly on the Watch 
-
Fire Daughter
- <i>Haruchai</i>
- Posts: 635
- Joined: Tue Jun 15, 2004 2:06 pm
- Location: Revelstone
If I could list all the people that Mom helped I would. The truth is, there are just too many. But, if you asked her to name them, she would have without even missing a beat.SoulBiter wrote:We all touch so many lives in so many ways without ever knowing it. Very few quite so noticeably than the way Tracy reached out and touched Isaiah's life along with so many others. What she brought to them was peace and a future (not a future in this world). What she brought to others was her example which touched so many more. By touching others in this way she may very well have created a domino effect which may save many others at some point.
Stephen Isaiah is 7 years old today...My little brother is such a gift to us all, and I believe, like Mom and my Uncle, he is a going to be a gift to the world. I have no doubt that he, like them, will do great things. His mind, his vision...is extraordinary.
I sang a song for you
Did you hear it, Mommy?
Of flying and dancing
Below and above the sky.
And when it was done
I said a prayer for you
Did God hear it, Mommy?
Of love and hope
And all things holy
Of you. --Stephen Isaiah McKinney-Hammon 2010 6 years old.
Happy Birthday, Stevie! We are so blessed!
For Myles--
When evening shadows and the stars appear
And there is no one to dry your tears
I could hold you for a million years
To make you feel my love
For Mom--
Did you ever know that you're my hero,
and everything I would like to be?
I can fly higher than an eagle,
for you are the wind beneath my wings.
Fly...fly high against the sky...
Thank you, thank you, thank God for you
The wind beneath my wings
When evening shadows and the stars appear
And there is no one to dry your tears
I could hold you for a million years
To make you feel my love
For Mom--
Did you ever know that you're my hero,
and everything I would like to be?
I can fly higher than an eagle,
for you are the wind beneath my wings.
Fly...fly high against the sky...
Thank you, thank you, thank God for you
The wind beneath my wings
Happy birthday to little Stevie.
Haven't posted here in a while- my heart gets a lift whenever I see the new post icon, though.
It was great to read Furls' latest entry. Thank you for posting it Brooke.
Even with all that she did.
Haven't posted here in a while- my heart gets a lift whenever I see the new post icon, though.
It was great to read Furls' latest entry. Thank you for posting it Brooke.
Man- she was pretty hard on herself.Furls Fire wrote:Ah! If I had only found you sooner! You were there for such a long time. Always so far away, still so far away. It is times such as these when I realize how little I see, how small I am. My vision so clouded, my hand, outstretched, reaches so short a distance. The Guides berate me for this kind of thinking, telling me that I am not burdened with all the world. And yet, this one voice, this one cry, implored me, howled out its grief to me, and I still could grasp the reaching hand. I could not see the face.
Even with all that she did.^"Amusing, worth talking to, completely insane...pick your favourite." - Avatar
https://variousglimpses.wordpress.com
https://variousglimpses.wordpress.com
-
Fire Daughter
- <i>Haruchai</i>
- Posts: 635
- Joined: Tue Jun 15, 2004 2:06 pm
- Location: Revelstone
She always thought she should be doing more. And it didn't matter that we all told her she was doing more than enough. She wanted to help everyone...
Next week is finals week, then Myles and I go home to the Mountain for the summer. Going to be a busy one, we are getting married on Uncle Steve's birthday (July 27th). I wish Mom were here to help me. As a little girl, whenever I thought about getting married some day, she was always there...planning, laughing, crying. The day will bring me much joy, and yet, somehow, I can't help thinking that it will be somewhat diminished because of her absence. I know she will be there, but it won't be the same...
Miss you, Mom.
Next week is finals week, then Myles and I go home to the Mountain for the summer. Going to be a busy one, we are getting married on Uncle Steve's birthday (July 27th). I wish Mom were here to help me. As a little girl, whenever I thought about getting married some day, she was always there...planning, laughing, crying. The day will bring me much joy, and yet, somehow, I can't help thinking that it will be somewhat diminished because of her absence. I know she will be there, but it won't be the same...
Miss you, Mom.
For Myles--
When evening shadows and the stars appear
And there is no one to dry your tears
I could hold you for a million years
To make you feel my love
For Mom--
Did you ever know that you're my hero,
and everything I would like to be?
I can fly higher than an eagle,
for you are the wind beneath my wings.
Fly...fly high against the sky...
Thank you, thank you, thank God for you
The wind beneath my wings
When evening shadows and the stars appear
And there is no one to dry your tears
I could hold you for a million years
To make you feel my love
For Mom--
Did you ever know that you're my hero,
and everything I would like to be?
I can fly higher than an eagle,
for you are the wind beneath my wings.
Fly...fly high against the sky...
Thank you, thank you, thank God for you
The wind beneath my wings
-
aliantha
- blueberries on steroids
- Posts: 17865
- Joined: Tue Mar 05, 2002 7:50 pm
- Location: NOT opening up a restaurant in Santa Fe
What Sea said. 
EZ Board Survivor
"Dreaming isn't good for you unless you do the things it tells you to." -- Three Dog Night (via the GI)
https://www.hearth-myth.com/
We all wish you as much joy as you can possibly claim. I don't usually presume to speak for others, but this is one case where I'm certain of agreement.Fire Daughter wrote:The day will bring me much joy, and yet, somehow, I can't help thinking that it will be somewhat diminished because of her absence.
^"Amusing, worth talking to, completely insane...pick your favourite." - Avatar
https://variousglimpses.wordpress.com
https://variousglimpses.wordpress.com
-
Fire Daughter
- <i>Haruchai</i>
- Posts: 635
- Joined: Tue Jun 15, 2004 2:06 pm
- Location: Revelstone
Hi everyone! Things have been nutty here the last few weeks. Alot of stuff going on. As soon as we can all catch our breath I'll try to get some more journal entries typed up from both Mom and Uncle Steve.
For Myles--
When evening shadows and the stars appear
And there is no one to dry your tears
I could hold you for a million years
To make you feel my love
For Mom--
Did you ever know that you're my hero,
and everything I would like to be?
I can fly higher than an eagle,
for you are the wind beneath my wings.
Fly...fly high against the sky...
Thank you, thank you, thank God for you
The wind beneath my wings
When evening shadows and the stars appear
And there is no one to dry your tears
I could hold you for a million years
To make you feel my love
For Mom--
Did you ever know that you're my hero,
and everything I would like to be?
I can fly higher than an eagle,
for you are the wind beneath my wings.
Fly...fly high against the sky...
Thank you, thank you, thank God for you
The wind beneath my wings
-
Fire Daughter
- <i>Haruchai</i>
- Posts: 635
- Joined: Tue Jun 15, 2004 2:06 pm
- Location: Revelstone
This being Elohimfest weekend, I went and searched Mom's journal to see if she wrote about the first one in 2004, which she was planning on attending. But both Zia and Stevie became very ill. Zia with AIDS complications and Stevie with RSV (he was about 6 weeks old at the time). This is what I found...
Sigh...oh Mom.
Sigh...oh Mom.
For Myles--
When evening shadows and the stars appear
And there is no one to dry your tears
I could hold you for a million years
To make you feel my love
For Mom--
Did you ever know that you're my hero,
and everything I would like to be?
I can fly higher than an eagle,
for you are the wind beneath my wings.
Fly...fly high against the sky...
Thank you, thank you, thank God for you
The wind beneath my wings
When evening shadows and the stars appear
And there is no one to dry your tears
I could hold you for a million years
To make you feel my love
For Mom--
Did you ever know that you're my hero,
and everything I would like to be?
I can fly higher than an eagle,
for you are the wind beneath my wings.
Fly...fly high against the sky...
Thank you, thank you, thank God for you
The wind beneath my wings
-
Furls Fire
- Lord
- Posts: 4872
- Joined: Mon Aug 04, 2003 10:35 am
- Location: Heaven
Sunday, June 27, 2004 11:46 pm
Somehow, I feel like I missed my chance. I missed the only time I could have had. I am sad. Sad that I missed something that was to be so special. A gathering of my Watch family that I had fully intended on being a part of. I talked to Tom and Eric this morning and my heart sang as I listened to them tell me what an awesome visit they were having. I so wanted to be there. I keep telling myself, there will be other times, other chances, other gatherings. But, somehow, in the back of my mind, I don’t believe there will be. It is over now, almost over. They will read messages from Stephen and Isaiah in loving memory and I know their spirits will be there. Along with mine, and the other members of our unique Watch family that could not be present. Is it selfishness that I feel so completely deprived right now? Yes. So many people in this world are deprived of so much more, daily necessities such as food and shelter. Love. Hope. And here I sit feeling so sorry for myself because I could not attend a party. Ah Tracie! Sometimes, you can be so…I don’t know. So something.
As I sit here in the den, monitoring both my sick babies’ monitors and listen to the bleep of the machines, I praise the Father for their continued improvement. They are my reason for being. My beautiful children, whose lives are the most precious gifts God has given me. I watch them sleep peacefully, and offer up my gratitude. Sweet blessings, all my children, they all dwell deep within my open heart. Each one different, each one a testament to love, each one a living embodiment of our essence.
Monday, June 28 2004 1:28am
Just had a frightening scare. Zia stopped breathing, even with the help of the vent she struggled. I fear for my tiny daughter. I keep praying for a miracle, that AIDS will be stripped from her by Divine Hands. But, maybe the miracle is that she suffer no longer and those Hands will lift her and carry her home. As a mother I am torn. I don’t want her ripped from my arms after I have only just begun to hold her. My sweet angel, precious daughter, I hope you understand, I hope you can feel this love I have for you. Of all things, you are one of the greatest gifts bestowed upon me.
Doctors have come from distant cities
Just to see me
Stand over my bed
Disbelieving what they're seeing
They say I must be one of the wonders
Of god's own creation
And as far as they can see they can offer
No explanation
Newspapers ask intimate questions
Want confessions
They reach into my head
To steal the glory of my story
They say I must be one of the wonders
Of god's own creation
And as far as they can see they can offer
No explanation
O, I believe
Fate smiled and destiny
Laughed as she came to my cradle
Know this child will be able
Laughed as my body she lifted
Know this child will be gifted
With love, with patience and with faith
She'll make her way
People see me
I'm a challenge to your balance
I'm over your heads
How I confound you and astound you
To know I must be one of the wonders
Of god's own creation
And as far as you can see you can offer me
No explanation
O, I believe
Fate smiled and destiny
Laughed as she came to my cradle
Know this child will be able
Laughed as she came to my mother
Know this child will not suffer
Laughed as my body she lifted
Know this child will be gifted
With love, with patience and with faith
She'll make her way
Yes, I believe fate smiled and destiny. My daughter, Selizia…God’s most precious, priceless, ageless gift…
Somehow, I feel like I missed my chance. I missed the only time I could have had. I am sad. Sad that I missed something that was to be so special. A gathering of my Watch family that I had fully intended on being a part of. I talked to Tom and Eric this morning and my heart sang as I listened to them tell me what an awesome visit they were having. I so wanted to be there. I keep telling myself, there will be other times, other chances, other gatherings. But, somehow, in the back of my mind, I don’t believe there will be. It is over now, almost over. They will read messages from Stephen and Isaiah in loving memory and I know their spirits will be there. Along with mine, and the other members of our unique Watch family that could not be present. Is it selfishness that I feel so completely deprived right now? Yes. So many people in this world are deprived of so much more, daily necessities such as food and shelter. Love. Hope. And here I sit feeling so sorry for myself because I could not attend a party. Ah Tracie! Sometimes, you can be so…I don’t know. So something.
As I sit here in the den, monitoring both my sick babies’ monitors and listen to the bleep of the machines, I praise the Father for their continued improvement. They are my reason for being. My beautiful children, whose lives are the most precious gifts God has given me. I watch them sleep peacefully, and offer up my gratitude. Sweet blessings, all my children, they all dwell deep within my open heart. Each one different, each one a testament to love, each one a living embodiment of our essence.
Monday, June 28 2004 1:28am
Just had a frightening scare. Zia stopped breathing, even with the help of the vent she struggled. I fear for my tiny daughter. I keep praying for a miracle, that AIDS will be stripped from her by Divine Hands. But, maybe the miracle is that she suffer no longer and those Hands will lift her and carry her home. As a mother I am torn. I don’t want her ripped from my arms after I have only just begun to hold her. My sweet angel, precious daughter, I hope you understand, I hope you can feel this love I have for you. Of all things, you are one of the greatest gifts bestowed upon me.
Doctors have come from distant cities
Just to see me
Stand over my bed
Disbelieving what they're seeing
They say I must be one of the wonders
Of god's own creation
And as far as they can see they can offer
No explanation
Newspapers ask intimate questions
Want confessions
They reach into my head
To steal the glory of my story
They say I must be one of the wonders
Of god's own creation
And as far as they can see they can offer
No explanation
O, I believe
Fate smiled and destiny
Laughed as she came to my cradle
Know this child will be able
Laughed as my body she lifted
Know this child will be gifted
With love, with patience and with faith
She'll make her way
People see me
I'm a challenge to your balance
I'm over your heads
How I confound you and astound you
To know I must be one of the wonders
Of god's own creation
And as far as you can see you can offer me
No explanation
O, I believe
Fate smiled and destiny
Laughed as she came to my cradle
Know this child will be able
Laughed as she came to my mother
Know this child will not suffer
Laughed as my body she lifted
Know this child will be gifted
With love, with patience and with faith
She'll make her way
Yes, I believe fate smiled and destiny. My daughter, Selizia…God’s most precious, priceless, ageless gift…
And I believe in you
altho you never asked me too
I will remember you
and what life put you thru.
~fly fly little wing, fly where only angels sing~
~this world was never meant for one as beautiful as you~
...for then I could fly away and be at rest. Sweet rest, Mom. We all love and miss you.
altho you never asked me too
I will remember you
and what life put you thru.
~fly fly little wing, fly where only angels sing~
~this world was never meant for one as beautiful as you~
...for then I could fly away and be at rest. Sweet rest, Mom. We all love and miss you.
-
Fire Daughter
- <i>Haruchai</i>
- Posts: 635
- Joined: Tue Jun 15, 2004 2:06 pm
- Location: Revelstone
I'm sure she was.
For Myles--
When evening shadows and the stars appear
And there is no one to dry your tears
I could hold you for a million years
To make you feel my love
For Mom--
Did you ever know that you're my hero,
and everything I would like to be?
I can fly higher than an eagle,
for you are the wind beneath my wings.
Fly...fly high against the sky...
Thank you, thank you, thank God for you
The wind beneath my wings
When evening shadows and the stars appear
And there is no one to dry your tears
I could hold you for a million years
To make you feel my love
For Mom--
Did you ever know that you're my hero,
and everything I would like to be?
I can fly higher than an eagle,
for you are the wind beneath my wings.
Fly...fly high against the sky...
Thank you, thank you, thank God for you
The wind beneath my wings
-
Savor Dam
- Will Be Herd!
- Posts: 6152
- Joined: Mon Mar 02, 2009 7:02 am
- Location: Pacific NorthWet
- Has thanked: 2 times
- Been thanked: 4 times
I know I saw her in the corner of my eye several times...but never could I see her directly.
Love prevails.
~ Tracie Mckinney-Hammon
Change is not a process for the impatient.
~ Barbara Reinhold
A government which robs Peter to pay Paul, can always count on the support of Paul.
~ George Bernard Shaw
~ Tracie Mckinney-Hammon
Change is not a process for the impatient.
~ Barbara Reinhold
A government which robs Peter to pay Paul, can always count on the support of Paul.
~ George Bernard Shaw
-
Fire Daughter
- <i>Haruchai</i>
- Posts: 635
- Joined: Tue Jun 15, 2004 2:06 pm
- Location: Revelstone
...in the silence, listen for my voice, it is then I will call to you, and sing to you the joy of heaven...Savor Dam wrote:I know I saw her in the corner of my eye several times...but never could I see her directly.
She breezes in and out of sight, she whispers softly in our ears, and she wraps herself around us so we always feel her.
For Myles--
When evening shadows and the stars appear
And there is no one to dry your tears
I could hold you for a million years
To make you feel my love
For Mom--
Did you ever know that you're my hero,
and everything I would like to be?
I can fly higher than an eagle,
for you are the wind beneath my wings.
Fly...fly high against the sky...
Thank you, thank you, thank God for you
The wind beneath my wings
When evening shadows and the stars appear
And there is no one to dry your tears
I could hold you for a million years
To make you feel my love
For Mom--
Did you ever know that you're my hero,
and everything I would like to be?
I can fly higher than an eagle,
for you are the wind beneath my wings.
Fly...fly high against the sky...
Thank you, thank you, thank God for you
The wind beneath my wings
-
aliantha
- blueberries on steroids
- Posts: 17865
- Joined: Tue Mar 05, 2002 7:50 pm
- Location: NOT opening up a restaurant in Santa Fe
Hmm...maybe that's why SRD was in such an expansive mood Saturday night....
EZ Board Survivor
"Dreaming isn't good for you unless you do the things it tells you to." -- Three Dog Night (via the GI)
https://www.hearth-myth.com/
-
Linna Heartbooger
- Are you not a sine qua non for a redemption?
- Posts: 3894
- Joined: Mon Oct 01, 2007 11:17 pm
- Been thanked: 1 time
Thanks for posting that, FD...
Also enjoyed your brother Stephen's poem; just saw it... age 6, wow. "Of love and hope / And all things holy" Beautiful.
I think there's a message in there for... someone - a few people, really, but I can't think of who!Furls Fire wrote:Sweet blessings, all my children, they all dwell deep within my open heart. Each one different, each one a testament to love…
Also enjoyed your brother Stephen's poem; just saw it... age 6, wow. "Of love and hope / And all things holy" Beautiful.
"People without hope not only don't write novels, but what is more to the point, they don't read them.
They don't take long looks at anything, because they lack the courage.
The way to despair is to refuse to have any kind of experience, and the novel, of course, is a way to have experience."
-Flannery O'Connor
"In spite of much that militates against quietness there are people who still read books. They are the people who keep me going."
-Elisabeth Elliot, Preface, "A Chance to Die: The Life and Legacy of Amy Carmichael"
They don't take long looks at anything, because they lack the courage.
The way to despair is to refuse to have any kind of experience, and the novel, of course, is a way to have experience."
-Flannery O'Connor
"In spite of much that militates against quietness there are people who still read books. They are the people who keep me going."
-Elisabeth Elliot, Preface, "A Chance to Die: The Life and Legacy of Amy Carmichael"
This is my 1000th post on the Watch. I've deliberately come here for this, because it's here that the Watch really began for me. This thread turned the Watch from a cool place to discuss my favourite author into....well, how to put it into words?
It's my online home. And this thread (Stephen's also, but I came here first) was what started that for me. It was Furls Fire who first instilled such an emotional bond for the Watch. Her story, and her family's, has moved me like nothing else, and changed me for the better. This little corner is the soul of the Watch.
I'm rambling. Don't quite know how to express myself (those who know me even a little will know that here is one of the only places that holds true). Let's cut this off simply:
Furls Fire, Hail.
It's my online home. And this thread (Stephen's also, but I came here first) was what started that for me. It was Furls Fire who first instilled such an emotional bond for the Watch. Her story, and her family's, has moved me like nothing else, and changed me for the better. This little corner is the soul of the Watch.
I'm rambling. Don't quite know how to express myself (those who know me even a little will know that here is one of the only places that holds true). Let's cut this off simply:
Furls Fire, Hail.
^"Amusing, worth talking to, completely insane...pick your favourite." - Avatar
https://variousglimpses.wordpress.com
https://variousglimpses.wordpress.com