well deer, here's an even odder thing...
i am a musician and i married an even better musician and yet
we are musically not very compatible when it comes to making music.
we like many of the same kinds of music (blues derrivative rock n roll, fusion, roots, etc), have many of the same musical influences and reference points (beatles, stones, 60's and 70's stuff, steely dan, chris whitley, radiohead, floyd, traffic, jethro tull, clapton in all his incarnations, motown, otis redding, aretha, etc)
we have never found (in nearly 35 years of friendship) been able to write a lick together or really even play much together.
oh we have a catalog of tunes we can pull outa the hat on occasion (he learned some rickie lee jones songs so i could sing em, i learned to play rythm guitar for a couple of tull tunes so he could play leads and such, like that) but really we never could write or get a band together or even record much in the way of just jamming on anything.
there was just never really any kind of creative chemistry between us in that way.
sad for both of us but...as you say, it is what it is.
our "marriage" such as it was, ended a pretty long time ago, tho we are still roommates (for the time being) and i'm now involved with a wonderful man who is not a musician at all. in fact, i think he sort of missed our generation's music nearly altogether (even tho he's only barely a year younger than me)!!
he likes music that i would never in a million years listen to (being the somewhat musical snob that i am
)
dude went to a foreigner/night ranger/ journey concert with his cousin and enJOYed it!!!
he likes songs and usually has no clue who is actually even singing them!!
as for why we marry the people we marry...good grief that question has so many myriad answers i wouldn't know where to begin.
ya don't choose who you love. it just happens.