Kevin's Watch

I remember reading the posts in Stephen's thread last Christmas. How engaged Tracie was, how happy, how despite being quick to tire she was so Present that day.

We, her virtual friends, took it as a possible sign that she was rallying, that the miracles we had already seen were merely the start...

Prayers get answered...sometimes not with the answer we seek.

Tracie would not approve of the moisture her journal entry provoked and which now runs down my face...but I lack the strength to do otherwise.

Hail, Furls!

If I find it in me to face the reality of my death with a fraction of the stength, peace, love, and compassion that she did, I will consider it the best death I could hope for.

Glorious Passing, indeed.

I will never forget last Christmas. Dad had carried her downstairs and she spent the day watching and laughing and smiling and dozing. And because of modern technology, we still have that day. Every Christmas up until last years, the video camera was always pointed at us. But, not last Christmas, it was pointed at her. We have hours of her...

"Meggie, what Christmas movie do you want to watch, it's your turn to pic."

No hesitation...

"Mommy!!"

No one argued with her.

Ryan: Smile Mom, your on candid camera.
Mom: Oh baby, don't point that thing at me, I'll break the lens. At least wait until I get my green and red Christmas wig on.
Dad: You're beautiful.
Mom: (touching his face) You're just saying that because you want your Christmas present first.
Dad: You're my Christmas present.
Mom: And all of you are mine.

So many people on Facebook are posting a compilation of their wall stati, now that 2010 is winding down. I did it myself last year, and remember my conpiled stati for 2009 were dominated with the words "Love," "Light," "Furls," "prayers or positive vibes..."

I haven't brought myself to do the same this year.
Looking back, my gut reaction strikes me that any compiled stati for me this year would be far more self-centered and mundane.

The Light is still there.
...but diminished. We must strive to reflect what we can of it back out in to the world.

Share the Light this season.

To that, I can only respond with two lines from Peter Yarrow's Light One Candle

Don't let the light go out!
Let it shine through our love and our tears.

We will never let her light go out.

The darkness is no more
The pain has past
Now onto the light
Now onto the grace
Now onto peace everlast...

My mother posted this as Christmas approached last year...

Furls Fire wrote:Very good to be around.

Ah, Christmas comes.

For unto us a Child is born,
unto us a Son is given:
and the government shall be upon His shoulder:
and His name shall be called Wonderful,
Counsellor,
The mighty God,
The everlasting Father,
The Prince of Peace. —Isaiah 9:6

There is Grace enwrapping me this morning. A silence, in which only sweet music sounds as I watch the snow fall. The house sighs as the holiest of all days approaches. There are Hands upon my forehead and the pain eases, my eyes begin to see in a clarity that has been clouded for some time now. And I hear His Voice whisper solace in my ear. All else quiet. Peace comes. Tis a beautiful morning.

As this year's draws nigh, our hearts of filled with her love and her grace. She is with us, we all feel her, we all hear her. The angels sing and the light shines.

Merry Christmas to all our friends here on Kevin's Watch.

May God bless us, everyone.

Merry Christmas to all of you on the Mountain.

What aliantha said.
May it be a time of peace, love, and joy-filled memories.

...as well (Merry Christmas Tracie!)

Wishing all a blessed Christmas!

Merry Christmas to all of you! The Watch loves your wonderful family!

We love all of you too.

Hope every one has a happy new year.

I ended up here last night...don't know why. I haven't been on KW for weeks but was drawn to KW and the Hall of Gifts. It was weird. Suddenly it popped into my head that I should be here, looking in the Hall of Gifts...

I don't really get these kind of feelings...it's weird...but, well.... When I got here I realized it was a year since Furls had left us.

Furls, we both know I didn't know you well but you are missed; and I don't know why but I'm kinda sure it was you last night coming to visit me...sending me back here.



to Fire Daughter, Angel Daughter, Harley Guy, Jordan and all the rest of the family.

You know, I kind of wonder if it was coincidence that drew me here on my second day of joining. I signed up with an essay on Covenant to share, and was immediately directed to the Hall of Gifts, where I immediately found this thread. To assume coincidence would be perfectly rational. But this thread and Steven's affected me so profoundly, and tied me so intimately to this corner of cyberspace, that I wonder.

If there's any story to make you think about destiny, it is the story of Furls Fire and her family.

Cambo wrote:You know, I kind of wonder if it was coincidence that drew me here on my second day of joining. I signed up with an essay on Covenant to share, and was immediately directed to the Hall of Gifts, where I immediately found this thread.

I remember that.

Seareach wrote:I ended up here last night...don't know why. I haven't been on KW for weeks but was drawn to KW and the Hall of Gifts. It was weird. Suddenly it popped into my head that I should be here, looking in the Hall of Gifts...

I don't really get these kind of feelings...it's weird...but, well.... When I got here I realized it was a year since Furls had left us.

Furls, we both know I didn't know you well but you are missed; and I don't know why but I'm kinda sure it was you last night coming to visit me...sending me back here.



to Fire Daughter, Angel Daughter, Harley Guy, Jordan and all the rest of the family.

It sounds like something she would do, Seareach. I've gotten some e-mails from people lately who say they have seen her in their dreams, or heard her voice while it was quiet. I, myself, have heard her say my name, or I'll feel a hand grip my shoulder, and know it's her. There are times when the perfume she used to wear will suddenly waft over me and I will feel a soft touch to my cheek.

She comes to visit us often.

Who can say for certain
maybe you're still here
I feel you all around me
your memory's so clear...

Deep within the stillness
I can hear you speak
You're still an inspiration
Can it be...

That you are my forever love
and you are watching over me from up above...

Fly, me up to where you are
beyond the distant star
I wish upon tonight
to see you smile
if only for awhile
to know you're there...

A breath away's not far
to where you are...

Are you gently sleeping
Here inside my dream?
And isn't faith believing?
All power can't be seen

As my heart holds you
Just one beat away
I cherish all you gave me
Everyday

'Cause you are my forever love
Watching me from up above
And I believe that angels breathe
And that love will live on and never leave

Fly me up to where you are
Beyond the distant star
I wish upon tonight
To see you smile

If only for awhile
To know you're there
A breath away's not far
To where you are

I know you're there
A breath away's not far
To where you are...Josh Groban

This was written the day Dad brought her here to the Mountain for the first time.

Souls will come and go from here and Angels will trod the halls.

Saturday, June 13 1998, 6:22pm

The mountain road wound itself up and around the close pines. The trees tall, majestic, sentient, I could feel a presence among them as we made our way farther and farther up into their domain. The house became visible as we rounded the last curve and my breathing stopped, my heart lurched. I could hear the voices singing, the trees swayed to the music under the breeze. And the house, ah the house, it beckoned.

“Sweet mercy.” I whispered.

“I told you.” Russell grinned. “I knew you would love it up here.”

Up here. Up, high, within the reach of God. The mountain opened itself to me, embraced me as I got out of the truck. Glorious beauty, the sun filtered through the pines, dancing to the music, gleaming against the house. I took a moment, spun where I stood, gazing, drinking it all in. Home. Sweet sweet home. This be home now, always, heaven abides here. Heaven on earth. Oh and the presence fills me, the grace, the light, the peace. Here, our mountain home.

No discussion necessary. Not when the very air summons, not when every tree calls out my name, not when the voices of the Guides cry out in unison. “Abide here!”

This is where I was always meant to be. Here, love will grow. Here, the grace will flourish. Here, all the joy, all the sorrow, all the pain, all the peace, all the ecstasy, all the healing, all the hope, all the work…it will all happen here. Here, life will begin, life will end, life will be. And the days will pass, and the children will grow, and the house will swell, expand, breathe…as life within it lives. Souls will come and go from here and Angels will trod the halls. Music will waft throughout its many rooms, ageless music, from heaven, from the trees, from the mountain and it will be a glorious noise! And my heart, ah my heart, will be full. Full within and without.

All here is holy. This holy mountain home. Ours, from now until the last breath. And I praise Him for His guiding Hand. The Hand that led us here. My knees weaken and I fall to them on the mountain’s sacred ground. I feel the hum, the quivering tremor. The mountain welcomes us into its sanctity, its divine aura. And I can almost hear it ask, “why have you taken so long to come? Did you not hear the call?” Were it that my ears could hear such things…I would have come sooner.

And all here is holy, all here is divine, all here is beyond earth and sky. All here is heaven. Heaven on earth.

So…

We’ve come home. At last. And the Guides whisper welcome, and the mountain whispers welcome, and the house flings open its door. The hearth beckons, the light glows from the walls, and sweet grace enwraps its foundation. All come, all abide, all live. Here.

That's one of the coolest things ever!!!