Kevin's Watch

Ananda wrote:Sorry, I was busy for the last few days and didn't have time to login. Since there were only two entries, I'll award you both 250 WGD. Both were great!

Documents uncovered in the WICKED EBLOGS of the Great WhiteGold Way have uncovered dastardly deeds about which the world MUST know.

The release of these documents at this hour of the election cycle will be called by some nothing more than an "Ocotber Surprise" trying to tank one of the candidates. But truth seekers (and all honorable people with them, even though the documents were not obtained by warrant but instead by insidious lawbreakers...don't ask me?!?) are bringing to light dastardly deeds discovered in the blogosphere: WinkieLeaks! Hundreds of words were combed from far and near to put together this bizarre story of corruption and despite! (Not to mention too much time on their hands...)

It seems that Winkies (the guards from the Wizard of OZ) have been sitting on this story, trying to keep their day-jobs on broadway out of the limelight of modern politics. But documents paint a bleak picture. One Winkie (Wee-Willie 3) confessed the whole thing:

"When Dorothy killed the Wicked Witch of the West (in the lean years, before WICKED made it to broadway) many of we Winkies had to get jobs as Night Security. My best friend, Stubby, got a job at a silicon valley spot, lots of computer techs and gurus seeking new ways to do things. His car had stalled on the PCH that night, so several of the Flying Monkies flew out and gave him a lift to his job.

It seems that one of the Techies saw the arrival and came upon an idea for using computerized flying monkies to "devalue our currency, and put the money in the hands of those who had the most bandwith to start with, and who are most willing to be unscrupulous with their words."

Stubby goes on, "I remember those words spilling out of the bushes in a rush of euphoric glee" (augmented by the 16 cans of Red Bull found in the dumpster the following day). But I didn't get a look at the person, so I let it go. Until I heard those words coming out of a candidate's mouth. And then it became clear to me!" He went on to speculate that the mastermind behind the "Save the Economy" anti-bot rhetoric was the one who wrote the bots based on the "Winged Monkey theory" And was about to name names as the writer asked for "this one-time contract" funding to turn off their own bots.

Sadly, Stubby never got to come forward with his testimony, as the lightboard at the WICKED theatrical run went dark, just as he was making his cross and he ended up head down inside the Pit's Tuba. the only way to extract him from this was to blow a blast upon the horn, which scrambled his brains and left him singing nothing but "It's a Small World Afterall."

We may never know the whole truth, but it HAD to be brought into the light. The voters will decide how best recover our economy, armed with the facts....

Your Humble Reporter signing .... hey, wait a minute ... where did these Flying Monkies come from ... Get away from me ... I've got bananas ,,, I'll .... AAAAAAAAAAAAGH.