Kevin's Watch

Hope it turns out great

Linna Heartlistener wrote: Like a year ago, I read a reference to a quote about "the struggle to acquire responsibilities -- not to shed them."
And that idea has sort of played around in my thoughts a lot.
I've argued with it, "People totally take on responsibilities they don't want to."
But then in trying to resolve that, I've thought "Ohhhh.. maybe it's that people want to shed responsibilities they suspect are meaningless."
Anyway, I just went back and looked and, turns out.. it was in the context of talking about friendship!

Thank you guys for encouraging me to contact my friend.
Who knows what will happen?
...but I have begun to reach out towards her.

There is always a fine line between taking on responsibilities and too many responsibilities. When does too many become too many? That is a question that plagues most of us. Sometimes we only know after it starts becoming too late - our significant other feels slighted because of other responsibilities - we cannot spend enough time building ourselves up we don't have the time/proper motivations for children/work/school or etc. Then we start tipping the pendulum - wow other responsibilities have become too much! Oh yes a delicate balancing act.

If you are not aware of this - Stephen R Covey wrote some interesting things about creating and maintain an "emotional bank account" - I recommend taking a few minutes to read through this. www.dailytenminutes.com/2013/05/the-emo ... hen-r.html.

One of the most important thing to me - is forgiveness for our mistakes. Mainly to sincerely forgive ourselves for being human. We can sit there and agonize forever over things we could have done should be doing. But the past is ...well in the past. The main things to do about it now is learn whatever lessons we can and if needed ask others for forgiveness.

Very wise words Sam

I always like Covey .. been a long time since Ive read or listened to any Covey books or talks.

samrw3 wrote:I come to say "oops!" I just read the history of this thread and realized that the intent was for deer of the dawn to bless and encourage. I just jumped right in because I enjoyed the content that I had read on the page where I jumped in - without reading the history first. So to those that were looking for deer of the dawn and I jumped in forgive me.

To deer of the dawn please continue to do your inspiring work

I think it's fantastic that others are jumping in. Especially since I haven't been on the Watch as much in the past few months... more busy and less internet... I was kind of feeling like "my babies are all grown up".

So continue, please, to bless and encourage one another. I also gain much from others' wise words.

(I have deer to thank for making me aware of this emoticon. Thank you, deer!)

Awww so cute .. so share your thoughts and fears so we can bless each other and Deer can anoint our hopes and dreams

I am afraid that I have nothing worthy to post

samrw3 wrote:I am afraid that I have nothing worthy to post

No sweat. Don't mean ya gots nothin' to say, maybe doesn't seem to fit into certain categories.
(People can pray and encourage in moments of anxiety and in each-others' struggles. But people can also pray that the health and strengths you have will be made fruitful to bless others more! They're BOTH good.)

And ya know what else?
Maybe someone else was supposed to "advance the story" of this thread.
And by that I mean:
"SORRRRYY, you guys, I meant to tell you about this sooner!"
I have tidings of good news...

...about my friend!
The one I hadn't talked to in awhile, and who's maybe moving!
I asked about getting together for lunch, but it was sort of "uggghhh, so busy."

Sometimes these things don't play out in the way we imagine.
I ended up messaging her online one Saturday... and we had a good conversation... for awhile!
And I ended up talking to her daughter (elementary-school-aged) on the phone!!!
If you want to love someone, one way you can do that is by doing good to their children! I love it!!!

And then one week later...
*Queue relevant seasonal emoticons, by Sky*

Skyweir wrote:

...my friend called me and was like 15-30 minutes away and asked if I wanted to go downtown with her for St. Patty's Day stuff.

So I'm like, "WOAH, lemme think about it!"
I do some things on an impulse.
But I generally don't GO SOMEWHERE more than 20 minutes away on an impulse.
And I go downtown very seldom.

But I did! It was a great day...
...and the theme of me also having a gift to accept from her... so relevant.
She drove us. She is practical.
(To me, trying to find cheap parking there seems like a form of mental torment.)
She is comfortable organizing & having a trip somewhere like this; she led the way.
She is also 100x more street-smart than I am.

So, really, all of those things... weaknesses of mine, but strengths of hers.
THANK you all for your encouragement!

[Edit: edits to remove some detail, then to include more...]

Great news Linna! I am glad you had some good conversations and a nice visit.

Yay

so good to hear it all turned out well.

Sometimes you have to exercise a little courage to grow in confidence too ..

Good for you .. for putting yourself out there ..

samrw3 wrote:I am afraid that I have nothing worthy to post

But you showed up. That is a great encouragement to me. Sometimes the best place to be for the moment is just here, with nothing. No agenda, no to-do list, just here, now.

And the Watch is a great place to get "filled up" when you are empty.

Remember, an empty cup is ready to receive so much; a full cup has no room for God or anything else. So it's not a bad place to be. <3

Here's hoping you keep showing up.

And Linna, I knew you could do it!!

Such a nice thread to visit .. and it is a salve

I am like super-discouraged.

I have had this pattern for like years where ...I know that I do this...
...When I stop talking to my dad for awhile, I start to shut down... I stop communicating with other people.
Problem is, I have to schedule dental appointments, try to acquire new tutoring clients, and hopefully re-schedule an appointment of my son's for NOT THE FIRST DAY OF SCHOOL.
I haven't talked to my dad since around Memorial Day.
I should SKYPE him tomorrow morning, but I've been telling myself that for a few weeks.

I'm also moping over junk that has failed like A LOT.
Which is silly because so much has gone so well.

Also, I have a friend from college who was talking about a list of his problems...
...and at least one of them is not-so-un-scary.
And I'm sad.

And there's other things, too. (I listed 3 of 'em, then deleted 'em.)

I feel like a frightened little child.

I mean, it also might be that I'm upset because we have two HUGE LIFE CHANGES comin' in the next month:
1. I will have to move from the apartment I've lived in for the last nine years. Also, it's got this gorgeous mulberry tree outside... that I am gonna miss so bad ...looking at it right now. Best view out the bedroom window... green-gold tree branches in the sunlight.
2. My older boy is going to public school for middle school, God willing. (He's been doing homeschool since 2nd grade.)

Linna, you know you've got this. All of it.

You may fail at some of it. That's okay. God expects us to mess up, and has provided the way to move through and beyond, and you will move through and beyond all of this.

Keep your eyes on the prize! He hasn't changed, faded, or moved.

Give thanks, first of all. Some things have gone well. That is reason to praise God. For some, nothing has gone well. Keep close account of the little things to be grateful for and be generous with your gratitude.

Forget the things that didn't go well until it's time to get it better next time.

You got this.

Well said Deer .. I add my support to you dear Linna .. and Deer is right .. you have got this.

Sit down, take a breath .. and make a list of things you gotta do.

Just put it all down .. then move stuff around depending on priority and how much time they will take.

ie.
1. Contact school re your older sons enrolment. Is it a phone call, or a face to face meet and greet. Work out what is required and schedule time to do it .. and do it.

2. Take older son shopping to get uniform sorted, books, pens etc .. set aside a morning or an afternoon to do it.

3. Call dad after dinner tonight.

4. Call dentist .. make appointments - put in calendar.

etc etc.

Further you said some things have gone well .. Deer is right .. note these achievements .. YOU HAVE DONE WELL .. YOU HAVE ACHIEVED THOSE THINGS.

We all have to love ourselves, not beat ourselves up, cut yourself some slack, geez girl .. you are tough on you.

You are a highly capable human .. you can do these things .. sometimes there is just so much to do it can feel overwhelming .. thats why its helpful to write it all down .. and then schedule it according to priority and available time .

You are greatly loved and supported dear one.

sky, in full taskmaster mode wrote:1. Contact school re your older sons enrolment. Is it a phone call, or a face to face meet and greet. Work out what is required and schedule time to do it .. and do it.

Oh, he's enrolled. we've gone to the school thingies.
No... I had a medically-related appt scheduled for him, and I had accidentally scheduled it for the first day of school.
Well, the re-scheduling of that one really worked out wonderfully. It's now on the morning b4 the first day of school... and I didn't have to pick my brains trying to get the scheduling to work... the lady we needed to see just had that day open!

sky, being all organized wrote: 2. Take older son shopping to get uniform sorted, books, pens etc .. set aside a morning or an afternoon to do it.

sky wrote:3. Call dad after dinner tonight.

didn't see your post, but ...yep... you know by now that I did. or will soon.
I am silly about choosing times I call in that...
* my dad is old and set in his ways, and
* he and I, umm, we communicate in part by "reading" each-others' silences or our failures to connect with the other one as rejection.
So I try to keep our expectations consistent by almost always calling around the same time on a weekday morning.

This most recent time, that backfired, (but not terribly) and... in fact, it turns out... this whole summer, evening times would probably have been great, although before that they normally weren't.

skyyyyy, I am exhausted just by reading this list wrote:4. Call dentist .. make appointments - put in calendar.

I, I... just don't love lists.
I metaphorically feel like I am impaling myself when I commit things to paper sometimes...
can you, like, tell me a story about a good experience with lists?

sky wrote:cut yourself some slack, geez girl .. you are tough on you.

I could shift to criticizing myself about how I'm self-critical...
j/k, j/k mostly!

sky wrote:You are a highly capable human .. you can do these things .. sometimes there is just so much to do it can feel overwhelming ..

Yeahhh... though I have this theory that - at least in many cases - when people's problems have stacked up too much, they can throw problems at other problems, and some of them will function as solutions.

deer of the dawn wrote:Keep your eyes on the prize! He hasn't changed, faded, or moved.

YES.

deer wrote:Give thanks, first of all. Some things have gone well. That is reason to praise God. For some, nothing has gone well.

yes. some things have gone really well.

OH, ALSO, GUYS!
We finally applied for a place... the next apartment... and our application was accepted, which I'm excited about.
There are leafy trees surrounding the place with shade.
We go to see it tomorrow evening, assuming nothing crazy happens between now and then.

Awesome news about the apartment .. hope it all works out .. and if it doesnt .. something else will.

That whole cliche that when one door closes .. another one opens .. has some merit.

Well clearly I had nothing of value to offer you through your difficult time meh .. I tried

As for lists .. Im a list kinda person .. I also have blackboards all over my kitchen .. where I write things I need to do each day. So for me it works, in fact Id be a mess if I didnt have my lists and my boards

I have two big monthly calendar blackboards so I write up whats on this month and can see whats coming up in the next month. Then I have 8 small black softboards .. for the 7 days of the week and a big events coming up .. that may not fall into any of the previous soft boards. Also I can write up miscellaneous data on that board as well.

All that keeps me across animal minding bookings, drs apps, family stuff etc.

But we are all different .. some people are capable of just remembering everything ... I am not

Skyweir wrote:...Well clearly I had nothing of value to offer you through your difficult time meh .. I tried

But you did! You had yourself, and you gave of yourself.
Your mind, what cares and concerns and what you would do in a situation like mine... they were all present for me to see.

Ideas for systematic change are a bit like book recommendations; sometimes people need to hear the same one a number of times from different sources, turn it over in their mind a bit...
..and THEN after awhile they'll say, "okay, I'll go for it!"

Sky-ness wrote:As for lists .. Im a list kinda person .. I also have blackboards all over my kitchen .. where I write things I need to do each day.

Oh, I'm imagining that - that is cool!
When I hear about someone else's ways of doing things, it gives me new ideas.

also, you have given me an idea for a thing to ask the Sheep Advice Column.... dum, dum, dum!!

Hahahahahaha .. youre on facebook Ill take pics of my black boards and send them to you

So you can see how a skylocerous rolls



In fact I will go do it now