Kevin's Watch

Bazinga

You now have supreme confidence to speak your mind. You tell ALL your work mates EXACTLY what you think .. but alas YOU TELL ALL your workmates exactly what you think about EVERYTHING .. once youre done nobody wants to work with your crazy self. You still have your job but everyone else quits and now you have to do everything

I wish Trump would stop tweeting every random thought and consider what he blurts out before he blurts it out

Bingo bango BAM!!

Trump has no issue resisting Twitter, since he's rolling out a new PsyOps campaign in which he tweets directly to our brains.

I wish for three more wishes!

Shazzammm

You have three more wishes on top of the wish you have now .. making four wishes in total .. but alas you cant count past one .. so you dont know how to get to your second wish. I know it makes no actual sense, but lets be honest, nothing in Mallorys makes sense .. so just suck it up and go with it

I wish I had someone to perform all my domestic duties

*Ka-Pow!*

There IS someone that does your domestic duties.
Unfortunately, it IS you.

I wish I could see Pink Floyd in concert again.

Very cool wish

Bippitty boppity boo you can see Pink Floyd in concert again .. but by seeing, you really only can hear bits of it .. because you snuck in and are concealed under the elevator in the pit.

I wish I wasnt ridiculously tired right now.

Bazoomie!!!

You are not ridiculously tired right now.....however you are ridiculously tired the rest of your life...just for that one moment of non-tiredness.

I wish that I was already moved into the house I am trying to buy

Bazangas you are moved into the house you want to buy. But you failed to inspect it fully before buying and the plumbing and heating are on the fritz, the basements full of water cos of a broken pipe, the roof leaks cos in disrepair, the house is riddled with mild and mildew and the very foundations are crumbling.

I wish there was a general store in this outback in the middle of nowhere small ass town

*sproing*

There is a general store in this outback in the middle of nowhere small ass town. Not sure why you'd want to buy a general, but that option is now open to you.


I wish they'd fix the stuff that needs fixing at work.

got me good

Bling bong they, whoever they are magically fix all the stuff that needs fixing at work. For a split second it washes over you in a momentary flood of relief and appreciation .. but after that split second now suddenly you are expected to perform twice and thrice as well as you were now that all that shits been fixed.. not to mention the financial cost of all those repairs. Now they want to recoup those costs in FLESH .. yours

I wish my back wasnt aching.

*zoop*

Your back doesn't ache. It feels as good as new. But your knees ache. And your elbows ache. And your head aches. Even your hair aches - not sure how that's even possible, but it's not fun.


I wish I could get this video project I'm working on to do what I want it to do.

boom its done .. the video project youre working on does exactly what you want it to do. Sadly though just that once ... after that split second it goes back to not doing what you want it to

Oh buggary I forgot .., yes I wish Gracies anal glands did not leak

Bif boom bazinga!

Gracies glands do not leak anymore...oh no...they just accumulate until they explode all over all your furniture, flooring, ceiling, well everywhere!

I wish that I had more time to post in Mallory's games

FFFAAAPPP!!! You now have all the time you wish at your disposal to post in Mallory's. But there's no wi-fi!!!

I wish the world wasn't going to hell in a handbasket.

BLAM
The world is not going to hell in a handbasket,
simply because there are no more handbaskets left.
The world is on it's own.

I wish that the next poster would post their wish in Japanese.

The next poster posts their wish in Japanese. Unfortunately, it's unlikely that next wish-granter will be able to read it.



私は日本語が話せたらいいのにと思います。

BAM! You can speak Japanese.
Beautifully!
When you open your mouth, people mistake you for a native speaker.
Unfortunately, your apparent fluency is FAR higher than your actual fluency.
Your vocabulary is that of someone of average aptitude who has actually only been studying part time for a year-and-a-half.
So naturally, whenever people talk to you, they expect you to be able to parse complicated thoughts and respond in kind.
You *DO* find brilliant verbal workarounds, but at a cost: you are mentally exhausted after, oh, say, a 2 minute conversation.
The headaches begin in 5.
Unfortunately for you, the food, tea, and such has not run out after 5 minutes.
Not even close.

alright, I wish I had a device that could delete minutes from Actual Reality, but only for like... the portion of the track that I have been present for.

Shhhhwoop!!! You now possess a device that deletes minutes from Actual Reality, but only for the portion of the track you have been present for. However, you've forgotten to create blank space in the portion that gets deleted, therefore you are now 7 1/2 minutes behind everyone else, and can't figure out how to make the device skip you forward to catch up.

I wish my wishes weren't so trite and cliche.

Your wishes are now brilliant and incredible..unfortunately they are so brilliant that no one can.....huh where was I going with that???????


I wish that be as kind as I think I am in my mind

You are as kind as you think you are in your mind, which is very kind. So kind that the world keeps taking advantage of your kindness.


I wish my workplace would stop playing Christmas music.