Kevin's Watch

You're in luck! Your workplace stops playing Christmas music. Finally! Instead, it decides that the best way to bring in the crowds is by playing all the various covers of Stairway to Heaven. And as we all know, there are endless versions and covers of Stairway to Heaven. Within two days, they are through about 1% of all of the covers, but you have heard this song 10 times per hour, and you wish for Christmas music...

I wish I had more time to listen to the music I like.

Shazam!! You now have all the time you need to listen to the music you like. However, that leaves no time for work or making any money at all. So you are now listening to the music you like in a cardboard box tent.

I wish I could think of a clever wish that could not be corrupted.

You think of a clever wish that can't be corrupted. The genie goes back into the bottle to sulk, and your wish remains unfulfilled.


I wish it would rain.

Bingo bazoom it rains and rains and rains and rains and does not stop. The water levels rise and rise and rise. You are now living in a kayak that you can stretch out in but are weighted down by all your kitties and are perpetually soaked and the kitties are not happy

I wish all people could live in peace and harmony

VVvviiipp!! All the people live in Peace and Harmony-- two villages in the Red Center that were formerly quiet hamlets, but suddenly are coping with a few billion inhabitants apiece. The Trumps and Saudi princes are squabbling about who gets to land their helicopters on Uluru, and meanwhile the Aboriginals have taken control of the few water springs and are using dreamtime magic to keep everyone else out. By day four the bodies are piling up. The Aboriginals only let children drink, so by month four there are only a few hundred thousand Aboriginals and a few million children left alive on planet earth. And since neither of us is an Australian Aboriginal or a child, we're dead too.

I wish I didn't have a professional development meeting to go to in 9 minutes.

Shabingo! Since I am posting this 8 days AFTER your meeting you no longer have said meeting to go to, therefore no corruption needed. Your welcome!

I wish I was not so hysterically clever.

Ding!!! You are not so hysterically clever. You are, however, devastatingly good-looking. Men and women are breaking down your door, blowing up your phone. Literally. You veil your face and move to the Yukon.

I wish I had a swimming pool.

WOW! You just got a very huge raise with a promotion.
The company relocates you and family to your new home, with a large outdoor pool.
In Antarctica.

I wish to win the lottery and travel the U S. in a RV.

BLAMMO!! You've won the lottery and begin your journey to the USA in an RV!! However, there is a rather large body of water intervening between you and North America. You really hadn't counted on that? The RV flounders just off the beach where the water gets deep. So long, Sorus!

I wish I had my own ladies' room at work!

(How did I end up in Cheval's wish? Was that a bonus?)


*boing* You have your very own ladies' room at work! Plumbing sold separately.


I wish my neighbors would stop using all the hot water.

*Moink* Your neighbours stop using all the hot water - only because there's none left to use...

I wish my house would clean itself.

Your kitchen begins to clean itself. It also cleans anything within it that appears to need cleaning. Dumps you into the shower and activate the spray nozzle you and all your clothes get soaked. And rather "clean." Lots of soap is involved. Everything is cleaned so thoroughly all begins to air dry, the caked-on soapsuds look a bit untidy.

I wish that I weren't so socially-awkward and obsessed with getting people to like me when I encounter new online communites!!
(or interact online with one group of ppl I recently met IRL.)


Side note: the dictation program that I was using originally understood the second sentence as, "It also cleans anything with Internet that appears to meet needs cleaning."
So if you have any smart devices in your kitchen, Stevie G, you might watch out for them too.

*WHOOSH!* You become so socially extroverted on the internet, aggressively seeking out posts of those you like for replying, until you're misunderstood as a stalker and banned from the many internet boards.

I wish for a tall glass of iced coffee to drink.

*boing*

You receive a tall glass of iced coffee to drink. It's very tall. Skyscraper tall. Good luck figuring out how to drink it.


I wish the mask I ordered online would arrive.

The Mask arrives.

You put it on.

You have visions of arcane blood rituals, and go insane, screaming incoherently.

When I was a kid my parents took us to see a movie, and it turned out it was a double feature and this movie, the mask, re-released as "The Eyes of Hell", was first. My friend and I agreed after the first of the horrific visions that they next time the guy put the mask on we would close our eyes and hold hands till it was done. Thankfully, when that was over, the movie that came on was great-- I believe it was Tora Tora Tora.

I wish that Nigerians would get serious about fixing everything broken in their society.

Bumping, without apology!! This is a great thread!!! I wish someone would corrupt my wish that someone post here!!!

*ABRACADABRA!* I post here in response to Deer's wish, but fail to think of anything relevant to say about Nigerians fixing their societal problems!

I wish that anytime I thought of a fondly-remembered movie, it would suddenly play on a screen in front of me.

POOF!
The movie plays but the screen is upside down.



I wish everyone in the world was healthy.

ZZZZINNNGGGG!!! Everyone in the world is healthy! Healthcare systems around the world go bankrupt. Doctors turn to pyramid sales for work; nurses to Pro Wrestling. Everyone is jogging, eating salads, and growing wheatgrass on their windowsills. The population burgeons because no one is dying, mad marathon mobs crisscross the continents, eating every green thing in sight like locusts. War breaks out, at first fought by mass wrestling last-man-or-woman-standing matches, but like the fake wrestlers with their folding chairs, someone always decides to level it up and do damage. Apocalypse ensues. There are a very few, very healthy persons left, and no salads.

I wish Corrupt a Wish was played as a daily requisite for all Watchers! It's the best!!!

deer of the dawn wrote:
I wish Corrupt a Wish was played as a daily requisite for all Watchers! It's the best!!!

**BOOM**
Wish is granted!

Hosting server can't handle the increased user load the server crashes. Hosting company never took a backup and Kevin's Watch is gone forever.


I wish that the planet Venus never got hot and had always had the same conditions that allowed life to thrive like it has on Earth.