Kevin's Watch

"Dang nabit, good for nott'n kids! Who's the one responsible for this slop on my desk! I don’t get much in the way of privacy round these parts... this little ole desks all I got."

(Sumo style, the Building Maintenance raises then stomps his right foot, then his left. Trembling, the ground comes to life. First, the leg of the last lunch table closest to the abyss collapses, sending the Lord Foul guy spiraling Hell ward again. Then the ground beneath everyone in the room liquefies, everyone sinks neck deep until the rumbling stops and the ground again hardens. Each caught in a strangle hold by the earths clutching around them.)

"One down and it looks like I only have you 6 left to do all the dirty work!" He says.

(Making quick of his work, he removes the shoe string from his right shoe, ties it to either end of his broken mop, making numb-chucks of it. Slowly, he flips the makeshift mop-chucks around in the usual Bruce Lee fashion... ~Wosh~ under the arm ~Wisk~ over the top again ~whisp~ around his back to his left side)

"You don’t know who your messing with children! So I'd recon you might consider grabbing a scoop shovel and a back hoe to start cleaning this mess up!"

*consumes vast quantities of Infelice's soup, rapidly diminishing his stature*

*new skinny Roger Covenant is able to wriggle out of the hole in the ground*

*with an animal snarl, begins throwing a barrage of shuriken-esque Sharpened Cheesy Biscuits at Maintenance*

*sits in the corner nursing the mother-of-all gigantically huge fudge bellies*

Damnit skinny Roger.......You ate all my diet soup!!!!!!! Now how am I gonna get rid of this fudge belly?????

*unable to get up due to the massive size of the protruding fudge belly Infelice holds her arms out in front of her and wails.....*

CAN SOMEBODY PLEEEEAAAASE LEND ME A HAND??

*grabs Infelice's outstretched hands, and pulls, but succeeds only in pulling himself onto the floor*

Thankfully, Biff was still in the cab of the truck when the ground liquefied... Quickly, he removes the Swiss army knife from his pocket, uses the can opener to remove the top of the cab like a tuna can. But these things take time... those can openers are sooooo small!

"I'm coming guys... just... give... me... a... sec...."

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*Huff**Huff*HuFF*
"Boy this is hard work, but hang on guys I promise I'll save you!"
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"Ok, I've gone about a foot... Only 6 more feet to go! Hold on!!! I am coming to save you!"
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"OK" *Huff**Huff*HuFF* "I'm out..."*Huff**Huff*HuFF* "I'll get you all out of the ground..." *Huff**Huff*HuFF* "Just give me a sec..." *Huff**Huff*HuFF**Huff**Huff*HuFF* "I just need to..." *Huff**Huff* "Rest..." *Huff**Huff*HuFF* "For... a... ZzZzZzZzZzZzZzZ

Biff: some of your posts crack me up!!
And so does your location!

Biff =

what have I been trying to tell y'all

its the av

*watches infelice whaling <umm .. wailing even> on the floor .. oh well she's decidedly beached ..

no power on earth is gonna move her now * .. looks amused at undernourished baby unbeliever's futile attempt to budge her

mmm .. Fouls been sucked back into the abyss again ..

looks like building maintenance guy has gotta go!! joins the whiny Roger dodger in a barrage of snot puddings!!

we no janitors!! *thwaps building maintenance dude on head with oversized over-ripe melon!!

How much amanibhavan have you consumed, Sky?

*observes drummonds confused state and thwaps him with a greasy lard pud*

Do you know how much stores a Giantship holds? You don't want me in THIS foodfight!

*Foul boards the dromond like a tourist going on a cruise* Oh, what a lovely ship! Yes, I think I'll bunk in the . . . FOOD HOLD!

*snickers*

*Foul enters the area, seeing piles and piles and PILES of food!*

Wow, this dude has a LOT of artillery! No matter, I've got a LOT of RATS!

*Foul lifts up his arms, chants some goofy-sounding spell, and suddenly a bunch of rats drop down from a small, blue portal above Foul’s head*

There we go. That’ll do. About a hundred rats, yes. Wait, the portal won’t close! AH, not more rats! ACK!!!

*Tries to leave, but is buried under a literal pool of rats!*

Uh oh! Captain Kirk, she cannae hold much longer!

Dromond wrote:Do you know how much stores a Giantship holds? You don't want me in THIS foodfight!

bring it on drummond!!

there is no escaping the food fight in here!! .. its strictly enter at your own risk!!*

nooooo Foul what have you done????? we could have used those food stores!!!!!! ..

steps over raging rat race .. and once realising there's no ammo left .. pushes drummond overboard into a lake of custard and pea green soup .. which he had inadvertently parked in

or whatever it is boats do .. dock if you will

*dromond climbs out of the parking lot covered in pea green soup*
"Don't make me angry; you won't like me when I'm angry!"

"You think the stores are depleted ? HA! You've no Idea!! Foul merely cleared the bottom shelf of the GALLEY!!!"

*dromond uses the Giantships' catapault to hurl down havoc in the form of Giant sized whipped cream pies!*

One of these babies in the face and you laugh 'til ya surrender out of exaustion!

*Paces nervously back and forth, wondering what Dromond plans to do in retaliation* *Nervous laugh* Heh, don't worry Foul. I'm sure he can't figure out it was me that did it. I mean, it's not like I left anything behind but a bunch of RATS. Can they fingerprint rats?

*As Foul muses, a long shadow draws over him, and a whistling sound is distantly heard. Foul flinches, stops dead in his tracks, and looks up*

What in Tom Bombadil's name! Dromond, you fool! You've killed us all!

*Foul shakes his fists at the heavens defiantly, and then an instant later he is covered in a mountain of whipped cream. Pie crust is piled over him like debris!*

*begins to rock herself from side to side gathering momentum and finally is able to herself onto.....oh no....the young unbeliever......squashed as flat as a pancake.

Gains her feet and lumbers over the the stove and proceeds to cook a giant pot of her SUPER SLIMMING SOUP. Pours it sown her throat and VOILA(SP) instant thin.

Picks up the flat pancake that was the former young Covenant and flings him frisbee style at the cream covered Lord Foul. *

Whoo hoo! Yay! Go Infelice! Oh, er, F&F is drooling at you again, shall I kick him?

*goes over to CovJr. and helps him off the ground* Hey, you're not a pancake anymore!

*bites Foul* Ick, you taste like pie. Wait a minute, what have I done!? Foul is now a werefox!

Hmm... this can be an advantage, seeing as it's rather painful to be a werefox.... Foul will have to go home sick! *hands Foul some soup* Go home, and drink that.




( )

Thanks Shalimar, but i think that Haruchai drool will come in handy.

*un-pancaked CovJr indulges in a celebratory boogie*

*throws a large rock candy cake at CovJr for not having anything interesting to say in his sig* *he's now a pancake again*