Kevin's Watch

Oh crap !! This thread is just going to keep running isn't it?

it will just continue to float in the tank.

Vain wrote:Oh crap !! This thread is just going to keep running isn't it?

No, it's circling the drain.

Vain wrote:Oh crap !! This thread is just going to keep running isn't it?

All you do is complain.
Stop being so anal about it!

Vain wrote:Oh crap !! This thread is just going to keep running isn't it?

Yep, it's definitely a clinger.

Mortice Root wrote:it's time to shit or get off the pot.

I'm not feeling clever, just brain-fried, so this'll do for now....I assume....

Reminds me of a Klingon joke

There's a lot of Kling-ons circling Uranus...

Well it IS a gas giant

uranus is a dark, cold and desolate place...

...until it gets a Stick-Up!

dw

Found on the Web:

# Close the door, bare your butt, and sit on the toilet as normal. Do not, however, yet poop.

Instead, focus on that feeling in your colon. Think about it. Savor it. Analyze it -- this pressure, this urgency, this unrelenting imperative no man or woman can deny. Think of the millions of people in your country feeling the exact same urgency at the exact same time. Think of the BILLIONS of people in the world who felt this urgency in the last twenty-four hours.

There are six billion people in the world, and every single one of us is intimately familiar with the exact sensation you're experiencing right now.

# Now, let it flow. And as you do --

think of the rich man, with all his finery.
think of the President, with all his power.
think of Osama bin Laden, with all his anger.
think of Barack Obama, with all his eloquence.
think of the Iraqi people, with all their problems.
think of Britney Spears, with all her angst.
think of the migrant worker, with all his worries.
think of the Dalai Lama, with all his holiness.
think of Ruth Bader Ginsberg, with all her responsibility.
think of John Elway, with all his prowess.
think of the Queen, with all her dignity.
think of your mother, with all her love.

Think of the one thing they have in common.

# Finish your poop.

# As you stand up, look down. This is the sight that greets Martha Stewart every morning in her mansion. This is the sight that greets Prince Charles every morning in his castle. No matter your skin color, your religion, or your sex, this is proof of your membership in the human race.

This brown monolith, bobbing gently in the jaundiced water, represents the most basic human urges. Each one of us -- popes, presidents, politicians, patriots, peasants, policemen, your parents, and on -- each one of us has the same needs, wants, and desires. We all must eat, must drink, and must poop. Whatever our differences are, they pale in comparison to the great commonality: we are all human beings. And boy, does each of us stink.

# Flush the toilet.

Let the sound of the water cleanse you of your antagonistic worldview. As your stagnant grogan drains down the pipes, let your antipathy drain with it. And that clear, clean, fresh water refilling in the bowl -- let that represent the purity of your soul, refreshed and renewed as your still-quivering asshole.

# Leave this printout in the bathroom for the next pooper.

# Don't forget to wipe.

HLT - I am SHRIEKING with laughter over that!!

Zen and the art of sh!tting...

*thinks*

actually, it should have said 'don't forget to wipe' before 'flush the toilet'...

and they forgot to add "wash your hands you filthy mofo"...

i am surprised this thread hasn't been wiped clean.

The mods can't handle this much crap!

i thought this would die after the turd page.

nope, this thread's got the runs!

takes the green apple quickstep to keep up with it!

can't everyone squeeze out a few more posts?