Kevin's Watch

And I guess the contest is up! We had two great proposals but only one can win.

DoctorGamgee in-universe proposal took some gumption and he got me rolling on the floor lmao with his follow-up post. He even added a Winkie pic! but I guess in the end, Linna Heartlistener's posting-bots captured my imagination more. What a great idea!

So the 200 WGD go to Linna Heartlistener! Congratulations

Don't feel bad, Doctor Gamgee. For your hilarious negative publicity campaign, a added a consolation prize of 50 WGD!



Now it's your turn.

What?!!? I just saw this Winkie Post...somebody must have hacked my account...

Ah well, Linna's was great, and I agree:

Vote Linne HEartlistener!

Congratulations on your well deserved victory!

By the way, winners are supposed to continue the legacy with a brand new Bad Contest...

ss- Yes, yes. All in good time, all in good time. =)

The category I now propose is... Worst Crossover Fiction! ...feel free to take your cue from the thread below, which I found most... er, inspiring:
(...bwahaha.)

kevinswatch.ihugny.com/phpBB2/viewtopic.php?t=20815

Captain's Log, Stardate 78723, Lt. Commander, Montgomery Scott. We are in orbit over the bonny Sanguinare Lycanthropis, a small M-type planet on the outskirts of the Romulan Neutral Zone-Gamma Section. A landing party has transported to the surface three hours ago, but has not made communication after the initial arrival. We're a wee bit worried that something might be wrong, but Capt. Kirk said we were to remain and wait...though for what, I have no idea.

Meanwhile on the planet surface...

"Fascinating!" said Spock.

"What is, Mr. Spock?" asked Capt. Kirk with a knowing grin.

"There are three sets of humanoids. One which is comparable to earth's homosapiens; a second group which glistens in sunlight, resists my vulcan mindmeld, does not sleep, and feeds upon the first group, ; and one which is more tribal, nocturnal, and protective of the first group, especially the young women."

"Certainly Mr. Spock, that is unusual, but not completely unheard of." replied Dr. McCoy.

"I seem to remember an earth novel from the beginning of the twenty-first century with a similar storyline, Bones. Can the corolation between the fiction of long-ago earth and a small planet at the far reaches of the solar system be your point of intrigue, Mr. Spock?"

"No, gentlemen. Rather that my tricorder has found on this 'small planet at the far reaches of the solar system' as you call it, an online ap for my Kindle which has the Twilight Saga downloadable, but that it has never sold a single copy."

"Then I guess we know how this will all turn out, don't we, Spock?" quipped McCoy. "Afterall, those who fail to learn from those boring history books nobody wants to open are doomed to repeat it."

"I wouldn't laugh if I were you, Dr. McCoy." replied Mr. Spock.

"Why the blazes not?"

"They also have 'Star Trek the Next Generation' where you are replaced by a woman, and you, Captain, by a French Man."

"Well, either way, Mr. Spock," replied McCoy, "in either book I'm still prettier than a pointy-eared Vulcan. I can live with that!"

"Illogical."

Laughing, Kirk hailed the Enterprise, "Scotty, three to beam up. There's nothing playing but reruns down here."

**End Credits here**

FOR ADULTS ONLY:

Spoiler

[Whoremione]: "Harry! Harry! It's coming!"

[Harry] "Expectoramus!"

[Whoremione] "Idiot! Why are you spitting with your wand?"

[Harry] "That's what the Pizza guy is doing! Looka the wand on that guy"

[sound track: bawm chick-a Bawm-bawm]

[Voldedork the Deliverer] "Wand? Man, that's the extra pepperoni your girlfriend asked for."

[Whoremione] "I asked for meatlovers, not extra pepperoni...[breathlessly, with a flirtatious look]...well...tomAYto, tomAHto, I suppose...it's service that really matters. [winks].

[Harry] "My wand is broken...wait...Humpledore always said the person matters! [unzipping, leaping between Whoremione and Voldedork] En Garde!"

[Harry and Voldedork begin "crossing swords"]

[Whoremione] "What are you two doing? And why do I feel left out?"

[Voldedork and Harry together, breathing heavily] "Swordfighting!"

[Whoremione, in stage-whisper] "Now I know why the musketeers were called gay."

[Harry, shouting] "IT's NOT GAY!"

[Voldedork] "He's correct. It's a completely acceptable and non-erotic male exploration, proving the rule of natural heterosexuality through experiencing, in all innocence and without guilt, its opposite in an ordinary and non-threatening environment."

[Harry, panting] "It's getting hot."

[Whoremione, opening the pizza box, grabbing a slice and biting into it while watching the others sidelong, then flopping on the couch and turning on the T.V.] "No, it's cold. And no meats OR extra pepperoni on me..umm...it"

[sound from T.V.: "Dunk-Dunk"]

[Whoremione] "Oooh...Law and Order repeat. Something worth watching."

[Fade into commercial]

"Trojan intimate massager will blow your hair back!"

Thanks Doctor Gamgee and vraith.

Oh wow... spoilered and "for adults only" ...hmm. What have I done to deserve this?

The category I now propose is... Worst Crossover Fiction!

Oh, that's right. That's what I did.

What to do now?

Some options I have:
1. Claim that I'm really a 12-year-old girl and not a mom of 2 kids.
Con: This may make me seem like a dishonest person and be bad for my rep here. Also, avoidance of responsibility.
2. Bite the bullet and read the darn thing.
Pro: Maybe vraith's just messing with me, and it's not really "that bad." (Yeah, right. This is the bad writing thread.)
Con: Can't unread. Mind messes with self.
3. Respond to all threads in the Close where I'm lagging on an interesting discussion with vraith, and then negotiate to see if he'll write something different.
Con: Doubt he'll negotiate.
4. Get husband or RL friend to read the post.
Con: They have to see it; people will know that I talk to these people.
5. Try to get someone else from the Watch who's already to judge this round.
Pro: I am already unfairly biased against vraith's entry...
Con: Avoidance of responsibility?
6. Try to get people who've already read it to tell me what is and is not in the story.
Con: Actually, what a terrible idea.

Hmmmmm...

Anyone else who's won previous bad writing contests want to judge this round?

Read it Linna, it's not that bad.

Actually, I shouldn't say that because I understand these things are very subjective and subjectively speaking, my tolerance levels are rather high.

What I think I can say is that both Vraith and the Doctor's entry are

Spoiler

bloody

brilliant! I enjoyed reading them both a great deal and am constantly surprised/impressed/delighted at the creative talents here at the Watch.

Reading your mind, right now you're thinking, "Shaun's my number 5 girl!"
(Hmm... having a male name as an online identity is fine until I type a sentence like that )

I would offer to be your outsource judge, but these two pieces are SO different, coming up with a winner would suck. (Vraith and DG, you can both jump on that innuendo boat.)

Linna, if it really is painful for you, I'll give it a bash.

I guess I'll try to muddy the waters a bit:


She was a woman alone. She was a heroine. She was so full of heroin that she didn't really know what she was.

"Get up, Number 6, Master Eremis, I mean Number 2 wants to see you."

Terisa smiled vaguely "Get away from the rainbow, tee hee." She stretched her chain between her hands and looked at it in complete fascination.

Gilbur, ground his teeth. He knew drugging the Lady Terisa would ruin everything but Eremis wouldn't listen to him, oh no. He punched the door frame then, for good measure, Nyle as well. It did no good. Apparently the wench shared her happy-powder with him. She was crafty that way. Grumbling, he left the room.

"I must escape. I am not a number you know, Nyle. I am a free woman!" Terisa fanned herself with her tatty shirt. "And that name is... something something," she mumbled under her breath.

"You're so pretty. I'd call you Miss Mordant, not 6."

"Thank you Nyle but I'm sure that's not it. Hmm." Terisa's mind emptied. Yes, that was the way out. The rainbow danced in her mind like a small child with a big colory brush. Terisa giggled.

Eremis appeared in the doorway. "Scribe, to your duty!"

Nyle got on his knees. Tall as a midget in that position, he picked up paper and pencil from the floor and began transcribing their conversation, a big smile pasted all over his face:

Number 6: Where am I, mister number 2?
Number 2: Happily in my arms.
Number 6: What do you want?
Number 2: We want kisses.
Number 6: Whose side are you on?
Number 2: That would be telling. We want kisses... kisses... kisses
Number 6: You won't get them.
Number 2: By hook or by crook, we will.
Number 6: Who are you?
Number 2: Your new Number 2.
Number 6: Who is Number 1?
Number 2: You are Number 6. Oh. All right. Geraden is Number 1. Happy?
Number 6: I am not a number, I am a free woman.
Number 2: Sure you are. Now kiss me you beautiful fool!

That's damn funny, s-shoe.

And...Holy crap, sheeppuppet, yew are female!?

Vraith wrote:That's damn funny, s-shoe.

Yes, there's some serious competition in this episode of the Bad Writing Game. Good luck with the judging Linna

Vraith wrote:And...Holy crap, sheeppuppet, yew are female!?

Yes Sir I am. (It says so right there under my male name.) Unless... changing the board style from subsilver to blueagain loses the gender ID tag? Oh whatever, take it from me, Shaun is indeed a yew.

Linna Heartlistener wrote:ss- Yes, yes. All in good time, all in good time. =)

The category I now propose is... Worst Crossover Fiction! ...feel free to take your cue from the thread below, which I found most... er, inspiring:
(...bwahaha.)

kevinswatch.ihugny.com/phpBB2/viewtopic.php?t=20815

Well I found my way here, and have been reading mostly. Being a long winded buffoon of very limited aptitude, it feels like home. Thanks for the invite, and the thread bump.

Excellent works, Vraith and SBS! Nicely done. But as all three of us are in it, the only ones who aren't are Shaun or Mr.Broken...unless the lurker decloaks (like a romulan...ntice how I work in that reference...smooth...yeah...that's Doc). we will need to take a vote. Anyone going to decloak?!?

Bones, er...Doc out.

Shaun das Schaf wrote:

Vraith wrote:And...Holy crap, sheeppuppet, yew are female!?

Yes Sir I am. (It says so right there under my male name.) Unless... changing the board style from subsilver to blueagain loses the gender ID tag?

Heh...I had no idea what the hell you were talking about...took me 10mins to notice the eh-brand/graveler thingy...I've always been unspecified gender apparently. Learn something new every day.

Vraith wrote:

Shaun das Schaf wrote:

Vraith wrote:And...Holy crap, sheeppuppet, yew are female!?

Yes Sir I am. (It says so right there under my male name.) Unless... changing the board style from subsilver to blueagain loses the gender ID tag?

Heh...I had no idea what the hell you were talking about...took me 10mins to notice the eh-brand/graveler thingy...I've always been unspecified gender apparently. Learn something new every day.

Heh, I didn't know about this feature.

Things are getting a little slow around here...

And... this round of the Bad Writing Game is being voted on here.

i am back and will enter the next contsest...

null- haha, yaaaay!

shadowbinding shoe- I meant to ask... is your Mordant prisoner one also a logic problem where one figures out who are number 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, and 6, or something? (reminds me of Doctor Gamgee's math problem from earlier - ha!) I haven't been able to "crack" it, so to speak...

Remember people, you can vote on the other thread if you haven't yet - I believe the poll will last for a couple more days, but it may be longer.

Linna Heartlistener wrote:null- haha, yaaaay!

shadowbinding shoe- I meant to ask... is your Mordant prisoner one also a logic problem where one figures out who are number 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, and 6, or something? (reminds me of Doctor Gamgee's math problem from earlier - ha!) I haven't been able to "crack" it, so to speak...

Remember people, you can vote on the other thread if you haven't yet - I believe the poll will last for a couple more days, but it may be longer.

It's based on that late 60s british series, "The Prisoner" (which I saw a while ago)

The only important numbers there were #6, the hero, #2, the scheming governor, his silent midget manservant (I don't know if he had a number) and maybe #1 who was a mystery throughout the series. Terisa is #6, Eremis is #2, Nyle is the manservant and Geraden gets to be #1. But feel free to match the rest of the Mordant crew with numbers.