Kevin's Watch

****Poof!***** Wish granted.


Not only do you no longer have fun corrupting other people's wishes but, for your past transgressions, you become a self-flagellating penitent who wanders the world "oh-woe-is-me'ing" 24/7 and begging forgiveness from the desert cacti.

I wish I had infinity in my pocket.

*POOF* Wish granted: infinity explodes out of your pocket with infinite power, vaporizing you and all the universe in a second Big Bang that generates, with time, another universe.

I wish Wayfriend stopped making wishes...

*POOF*

Now there are no more wishes from Wayfriend.
Nor from ANYBODY else for that matter.

I wish that I could think of a wish.

*POOF* Your mind is overflowing with really good ideas for wishes, but you can't pick one, they are too many, and all of them good... the struggle to find a particularly brilliant one makes you insane, and you end up spending the rest of your days in a mental institution.

I wish the weather got better and that spring would come...

****POOF**** wish granted.

It's spring and everything grows at an alarming rate. So much so that the pollen counts skyrocket and you develop the worst pollen related allergies known to mankind, so great that you have to spend the rest of your life in a plastic bubble.

I wish we didn't have to corrupt wishes.

*POOF* We don't have to corrupt wishes: people develop an incurable pathology according to which their wishes are already corrupted when they speak them.

I wish more people made wishes we can corrupt...

Xar wrote:.

I wish more people made wishes we can corrupt...

*POOF*

"Corrupt a wish" because the most popular posting spot on the internet.
So much so that KW is soon shutdown due to the large volume of traffic.
Bythe time Vain fixes it hundreds of copycat "Corrupt a wish" sites are online.
Within a week the whole "Corrupt a wish" concept is mocked and dismissed by the greater internet community but still embraced by those who also like to argue who was the best captain on Star Trek.


I wish I knew when and how I was going to die.

POOF!
You spent you whole life trying to aviod said death only for it to happen in an unexpected way, that still fufills the vison of death you were granted.

I wish I had a choclate donut right about now.

*POOF* You have one. Unfortunately, after you eat it you discover to your dismay that it was laced with rat poison because the seller hates the world and today he went psycho.

I wish I knew more interesting and friendly people...

Poof!
You are now very boring in comparison.

I wish i didnt feel ill.

*POOF!* You don't feel ill: you feel worse.

I wish tomorrow were a beautiful day.

...and your wish comes true.
Tomorrow will be a BEAUTIFUL day outside.
Unfortunatly, you will have the flu and have to stay indoors for the next few days.

I wish I had enough money to retire.

*Poof* wish granted, but, the day after you retire, you suffer a major stroke that leaves you in a permanent vegetative state and all your money gets spent on 24/7 health care.

I wish everything in my house were organized.

***POOF**** wish granted.

Your house is so well organised that you can no longer find a single thing because you are so bound to the chaos principle.

I wish I could drink alcohol at work.

*Poof* You get a job as a quality control taster in a brewery. Within a year, your brain is so pickled you don't know anything.

I wish I knew where Osama Bin Laden was.

***POOF**** wish granted!

You know where Osama is hiding out. Unfortunately you are captured before you are able to bring a single weapon of mass destruction to bear on him and he turns you into his personal butt-puppet.

I wish all terrorists got their brains sucked out by the ravenous Bugblatter Beast of Traal.

Elfgirl wrote: I wish all terrorists got their brains sucked out by the ravenous Bugblatter Beast of Traal.

Terrorists don't have brains or need think so the Bugblatter Beast dies quickly from starvation and terrorist attacks continue.


I wish humans could communicate with dolphins, they seem like they'd be a lot of fun.

Granted. Humans can communicate with dolphins, but the dolphins don't want to converse. In fact, they all go into hiding to avoid our vapid comments about the weather and our endless griping.

I wish opening the windows would actually allow some cool air into the house, rather than having no discernible effect.

*POOF*
Opening the windows will let in cool air...
along with the rain, bugs,
and smoke from the neighbor who is burning his trash in the backyard.

I wish there was something worth watching on the television.

Granted. Nothing but entertaining goodness on the tv now...but you can't find a working one anywhere. Every set you own mysteriously stops working as soon as you enter the room.

I wish pollen would leave me alone. Bloody allergies.