Kevin's Watch

Some things I would make dissapear forever given the chance or power to do so;-

1. All 'traffic calming' devices (humps, chicanes etc). They don't 'calm' the traffic - they make drivers slow up quickly and swerve etc and thus have no effect on safety whatsoever.

2. Chewing gum. The streets and pavements where I live look like a hyena's pelt with the beastly stuff, not to mention that I regularly spend an hour or so bent double scraping it by hand from the floor of the 7-11 store where I work. At least build the cost of its removal from the streets into the purchase cost of the despicable stuff.

3. Health and Safety Executive legislation. It's all bullshit desighned to put a middle tier of non-producers into well paid jobs where they actually do nothing of real value. eg At my work-place a big notice informs me that I have the right to work in an environment where risks to my health and safety are minimised. To this end the other day a guy came to the shop and made us put up sighns over the hot water taps telling us we could burn our hands if we were not careful. The same legislation allowed a 24 yo man from my town to be loaded into a cannon and fired 50 feet into the air, also last week. He had been employed in the 'stunt show' for two weeks - missed the net and was killed.

4. Public holidays that aren't. The Royal Wedding in the UK was celebrated by our PM announcing a Public Holiday for the day so we could all see the ceremony. I enquired of my employers if we would get an extra days holiday since I assumed we would be open as usual (a 7-11 store) on the day. They replied "You won't and you will be."

5. Celebrities. Take the lot of them out to an island somewhere in the middle of the sea and leave them all to live with each other in a permenant state of mutual self congratulatory vanity. Thus it might be possible to get just a small proportion of the people in our chronically 'dumbed down' society to begin to think about some of the really important things that are going on in the world.

(Don't mind me folks - feeling a little bit angsty today! )

6. Helicopters that continually shatter the peace (precious little of that anyway!) of where I live making inumerable forrays to whoknows where doing Godknows what ay all times of night and day. I live in the back end of no-where for God's sake, You'd think it was bloody Saigon out there!

7. The common all Garden Strimmer. Every sunny Sunday morning without fail some lawn obsessed lunatic......... I think you get the point!

my local Hastings putting up contradictory sale signs up in their comic book section.

thus forcing us to argue with the pathetic cashier for the better option - sign in hand.

(we opted for the buy one - get one free vs buy two get one free.)

8. People who keep dogs in built up areas and turn them out into the garden at 3am (when thier work shift happens to finish) to spend half an hour barking and waking up everybody else in the neighbourhood who has to get up at 5.30am to go to work for 8 hours feeling bloddy knackered through lack of sleep. Bastards!

co-workers who can't be bothered to show up for work. they just fired one such soul...

Childrens' mittens and childrens' colorful socks.

It should be a corollary of Murphy's Law:
No matter how many socks you wash, you will find seldom find a matching pair.

I don't even bother trying anymore. I just pull on the nearest two clean socks I can find. I'm such a bum

Hahaha, I threw away all my socks and bought like 20 identical pairs. Now my socks always match, no matter what.

--A

Good thinking! Now I just need to wait for the paycheck in which priority can be given to new socks....

Damn Avatar - I did exactly the same thing last year! It only took 40 or so years of wrong sock wearing for me to suss out the solution.

While I'm here I guess I better shake my fist at something so........(thinks)........The bastard who decided that salt should be removed from all breakfast cereals leaving them a tasteless heap of crap with less flavour than the box they are sold in! For 50ish years Kellogs Cornflakes were without exeption my favorite food. I had a bowl a day, every day for most of my childhood and all of my adult life. Then about 5 or six years ago I noticed that the taste seemed to be changing. Other breakfast cereals started putting 'now less salt' on the packet like it was a good thing, but Kellogs did it by stealth. Thanks to the nanny state that decides it's ok for me to eat 4000 calories worth of sugar a day, but does not allow me to choose to eat a couple of grams of salt. Bastards!

whoever programs hbo. i get one "pay" channel. run more horror!

drag me to hell - just once? quit it. less romantic comedies ad more horror!

Avatar wrote:Hahaha, I threw away all my socks and bought like 20 identical pairs. Now my socks always match, no matter what.

--A

I have a bag of white, a bag of grey, and a bag of brown.
Now the only problem is my cloth work gloves...buy em by the bagful, and they're always brown...but NOW I end up with a stack of left hands, and no rights.

Find a bag of different coloured one, white or black or whatever, then throw away all the brown lefts, and all the white rights. Grab one of each colour, and you'll always be fine.

--A

work sucks - cuts out my time to volunteer at the zoo. and to do art. and to spend time with family.

I want to shake fist at myself

How do I manage to screw up my impression on people? How does it happen no matter how i try to behave something still happens? Even here, something has to appear out of the blue

You told me I was off-topic. I understand you weren't trying to insult me; I really do. But I have a title. I'm the founder of THOOOTP, for crying out loud. For the uninitiated, that means I'm the high priest of The Holy Order Of Off-Topic Posters. Calling me 'off-topic' is like calling the Pope "a Catholic guy". But, it the spirit of brotherly love, I forgive you. Just try to remember in the future that I am not just another run of the mill off-topic poster.

hbo again - more movies please. less boxing.

Effaeldm wrote:I want to shake fist at myself

How do I manage to screw up my impression on people? How does it happen no matter how i try to behave something still happens? Even here, something has to appear out of the blue

Don't worry about it, Effaeldm. You got a mild growling from Mr Lion, which happens to everyone on here at some point. You even got an olive branch .

Go back and look for dAN's interactions with Babybottomfeeder if you want to see someone REALLY making a bad impression.

Hahaha, listen to Cambo and don't stress about it. dAN growls at most everybody one time or another. We don't tend to really hold stuff against people here, so there aren't after-effects.

--A

Cambo wrote:

Effaeldm wrote:I want to shake fist at myself

How do I manage to screw up my impression on people? How does it happen no matter how i try to behave something still happens? Even here, something has to appear out of the blue

Don't worry about it, Effaeldm. You got a mild growling from Mr Lion, which happens to everyone on here at some point. You even got an olive branch .

Go back and look for dAN's interactions with Babybottomfeeder if you want to see someone REALLY making a bad impression.

the bottom feeder was a troll and deserved everything and more. should have been banned harshly...

sgt.null wrote:

Cambo wrote:

Effaeldm wrote:I want to shake fist at myself

How do I manage to screw up my impression on people? How does it happen no matter how i try to behave something still happens? Even here, something has to appear out of the blue

Don't worry about it, Effaeldm. You got a mild growling from Mr Lion, which happens to everyone on here at some point. You even got an olive branch .

Go back and look for dAN's interactions with Babybottomfeeder if you want to see someone REALLY making a bad impression.

the bottom feeder was a troll and deserved everything and more. should have been banned harshly...

Such was my point.