Posted: Thu Jul 28, 2011 5:44 am
Awesome, congratulationsJazFusion wrote: Well, my husband got the job. We should be out of here by October 1st, gods willing. Or I will set something on fire.
Kevin's Watch
Official Discussion Forum for the works of Stephen R. Donaldson
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How do you feel today? v. 3.0
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Posted: Thu Jul 28, 2011 5:46 am
Lorin, you have every right to feel sad. I would be surprised if you didn't. It's the same as suffering any loss. There is an anger part and a grief part and finally will come an acceptance part. You gave as much as you could to this kid and it wasn't enough for him. That's hard to accept but for some no matter what you give it will never be enough and it seems like this is the case here. He was luckier than so many other people and never learned to recognize that fact but we do. We know how amazing and giving and loving and patient and truly incredible you are. Please understand that we will never mock you or judge your feelings because your feelings are your own, earned, felt and experienced from the life you have led, not a life we have led so none of us have any right to judge or mock. We are here to console, support and love you and try to help you work through any feelings you have if that is what you need us to do. I don't think I speak for myself when I say that I wish I could be there with you holding your hand and supporting you with all my heart during this ordeal.
Jaz, put the matches down and breathe deep and repeat, it's gonna get better, we have made progress three times. And big congrats to your hubby.
Now I need to find a new job....
Jaz, put the matches down and breathe deep and repeat, it's gonna get better, we have made progress three times. And big congrats to your hubby.
Now I need to find a new job....
Posted: Thu Jul 28, 2011 6:32 am
thank you to everyone for their sympathies. funeral is friday, trying to find out if any of my ex-coworkers are going and if i can hitch a ride.
lorin - sorry it turned out this way. not much i can say will help. but please know, it is his life, you need to seperate and live yours.
damelon - i would have gone.
maybe when the sox are against each other? still not over fisk btw.
luci - thanks. judy was hilarious in her profanity. as a fan and a user of a blue tongue, it was great having someone to match me. we were like the deadwood of prisons when we worked together. lots of people curse, but to do it with humor and flair is a gift. kept the inmates off balance and working - a skill not many of us have in prison. drudgery is what makes people go off and do stupid things. not a lot of people understand why i keep talking and joking amongst the inmates, but can turn iron when needed. judy did.
jenn - i understand having a job that drains, so i was not offended. in fact when you see my job update you may feel a little better about your job.
menolly - thank you.
cambo - thank you. some of my co-workers wanted me to come back. i realize how much i miss the team of workers we had. not having that now. just made work easier. made time go by quicker.
phantasm - thank you. i need a vacation.
ali - thanks.
sorus - thank you.
jaz - thank you and congrats to your husband.
now as to the update. we are losing two more sergeants. so we have one sergeant per shift now. our beloved captain called two of us in a meeting and said we need to work harder, said she knew i didn't care about the job and basically questioned my loyalty and work ethic.
then later that day she asked if for a month (or two) would i mind working fri/sat/sun/mon so her favorite sgt (her effin' pet) could still have weekends off.
i told her yes i would work it. (she gave me the option) then told her that i knew she didn't understand sarcasm but that she need to understand that my work ethic is second to none. that i was the last fsm III standing - all the others are fsm II's (less than three years in.) i told her i have 11 years in and that even though my friend died and my truck died, i was still at work today. that most of her staff looked for any reason to miss work.
so for a month (or more) i will get no off days will julie. i will get no ultimate reward for my sacrifice. i will be working 11am-9pm because of rhamadan. all for someone who wirtes me up for bs and questions my work ethic.
i need to win the lottery.
lorin - sorry it turned out this way. not much i can say will help. but please know, it is his life, you need to seperate and live yours.
damelon - i would have gone.
maybe when the sox are against each other? still not over fisk btw.luci - thanks. judy was hilarious in her profanity. as a fan and a user of a blue tongue, it was great having someone to match me. we were like the deadwood of prisons when we worked together.
lots of people curse, but to do it with humor and flair is a gift. kept the inmates off balance and working - a skill not many of us have in prison. drudgery is what makes people go off and do stupid things. not a lot of people understand why i keep talking and joking amongst the inmates, but can turn iron when needed. judy did. jenn - i understand having a job that drains, so i was not offended. in fact when you see my job update you may feel a little better about your job.
menolly - thank you.
cambo - thank you. some of my co-workers wanted me to come back. i realize how much i miss the team of workers we had. not having that now. just made work easier. made time go by quicker.
phantasm - thank you. i need a vacation.
ali - thanks.
sorus - thank you.
jaz - thank you and congrats to your husband.
now as to the update. we are losing two more sergeants. so we have one sergeant per shift now. our beloved captain called two of us in a meeting and said we need to work harder, said she knew i didn't care about the job and basically questioned my loyalty and work ethic.
then later that day she asked if for a month (or two) would i mind working fri/sat/sun/mon so her favorite sgt (her effin' pet) could still have weekends off.
i told her yes i would work it. (she gave me the option) then told her that i knew she didn't understand sarcasm but that she need to understand that my work ethic is second to none. that i was the last fsm III standing - all the others are fsm II's (less than three years in.) i told her i have 11 years in and that even though my friend died and my truck died, i was still at work today. that most of her staff looked for any reason to miss work.
so for a month (or more) i will get no off days will julie. i will get no ultimate reward for my sacrifice. i will be working 11am-9pm because of rhamadan. all for someone who wirtes me up for bs and questions my work ethic.
i need to win the lottery.
Posted: Thu Jul 28, 2011 12:23 pm
Ugh, Sarge, that sucks big-time. Can you put in for a transfer? Or would it just be SS, DD?
Jaz -- congrats!
So I'm understanding you correctly -- matches or no, you'll be out of there October 1st? 
Jaz -- congrats!
So I'm understanding you correctly -- matches or no, you'll be out of there October 1st? Posted: Thu Jul 28, 2011 1:01 pm
Why is she bringing this up? This is purely a union issue. Who has seniority? The one with seniority gets the pick. If she is forcing you into a shift when you have seniority, then you need to contact your union.sgt.null wrote: then later that day she asked if for a month (or two) would i mind working fri/sat/sun/mon so her favorite sgt (her effin' pet) could still have weekends off.
Posted: Thu Jul 28, 2011 1:52 pm
sarge, I feel for you with the job. I don't have experience with that situation, but it sure sounds frustrating. Is this manager playing favorites, or is she really just that oblivious to how unfair she is being?
I'm in a totally different boat -- I recently interviewed for a higher position at the place I've worked for just shy of 8 yrs. I'm very qualified for this job -- in the interview debrief all 8 of my interviewers agreed I was the most qualified of the available applicants, speaking from a technical perspective. But, once again I didn't get it, at the same time I received ridiculously high praise for what I'm already doing... turned down because I don't have enough management experience. I have almost too much technical experience - and I will likely be pegged to provide technical training to the person hired into the position. The reason I don't have management experience is that I'm not in a management position, and I can't get that experience without a management position, which they are unwilling to place me in without already having that experience.
So, it's clear now that they don't want to promote me from the position I'm in because if I leave they are pretty sure they can't replace me. They already got rid of everyone else that knew what they were doing, and they know someone needs to be able to train the contractors. Our motto used to be 'Do more with less.' It has become 'Do less with less.'
Our IT department has a 30% turnover so far this year, half of which management deems 'regrettable' -- in other words, headcount is headed in the direction they want it to, but much faster than they figured, and they lost people they couldn't really afford to lose. So, the people that do most or all the work saw the writing on the wall and left for better things. Good for them. We 'survivors' now have fewer trusted coworkers, and have to figure out how to train the glut of contract workers (who are green and faced with a steep learning curve in a department with poorly documented processes) while still addressing the giant piles of work left in wake of the attrition.
We are getting dumber as a department, losing the business knowledge that kept us functional in the past, leaving us dysfunctional. Once the outsourcing turns into offshoring (the next phase of the grand IT plan), it will become comical, and not in a good way.
I can only hope I have found another place in the organization before that happens. Unfortunately, I am sporting a nice pair of golden handcuffs -- other companies in the area aren't really an option unless and until I swallow my pride and eat a pay cut (losing a significant # of annual PTO days based on years worked) to get away from here, while the getting is still good.
However, what i should really be doing is counting my blessings. I still have a job, one that pays well, and just smile past the increasing $#!t I have to deal with. But, it does feel good to whine every so often...
dw
I'm in a totally different boat -- I recently interviewed for a higher position at the place I've worked for just shy of 8 yrs. I'm very qualified for this job -- in the interview debrief all 8 of my interviewers agreed I was the most qualified of the available applicants, speaking from a technical perspective. But, once again I didn't get it, at the same time I received ridiculously high praise for what I'm already doing... turned down because I don't have enough management experience. I have almost too much technical experience - and I will likely be pegged to provide technical training to the person hired into the position. The reason I don't have management experience is that I'm not in a management position, and I can't get that experience without a management position, which they are unwilling to place me in without already having that experience.
So, it's clear now that they don't want to promote me from the position I'm in because if I leave they are pretty sure they can't replace me. They already got rid of everyone else that knew what they were doing, and they know someone needs to be able to train the contractors. Our motto used to be 'Do more with less.' It has become 'Do less with less.'
Our IT department has a 30% turnover so far this year, half of which management deems 'regrettable' -- in other words, headcount is headed in the direction they want it to, but much faster than they figured, and they lost people they couldn't really afford to lose. So, the people that do most or all the work saw the writing on the wall and left for better things. Good for them. We 'survivors' now have fewer trusted coworkers, and have to figure out how to train the glut of contract workers (who are green and faced with a steep learning curve in a department with poorly documented processes) while still addressing the giant piles of work left in wake of the attrition.
We are getting dumber as a department, losing the business knowledge that kept us functional in the past, leaving us dysfunctional. Once the outsourcing turns into offshoring (the next phase of the grand IT plan), it will become comical, and not in a good way.
I can only hope I have found another place in the organization before that happens. Unfortunately, I am sporting a nice pair of golden handcuffs -- other companies in the area aren't really an option unless and until I swallow my pride and eat a pay cut (losing a significant # of annual PTO days based on years worked) to get away from here, while the getting is still good.
However, what i should really be doing is counting my blessings. I still have a job, one that pays well, and just smile past the increasing $#!t I have to deal with. But, it does feel good to whine every so often...
dw
Posted: Thu Jul 28, 2011 3:35 pm
No interest in bailing yourself, then, dw? If it were me, I'd be thinking hard about it. Sounds to me like "not enough management experience" was an excuse to keep you right where you're most useful to them.
Posted: Thu Jul 28, 2011 4:12 pm
Off work today and tomorrow, and I keep forgetting that it's not the weekend.
Been out, and spent most of the time the way I usually do, wandernig around Newcastle looking for things but not actually buying anything, but today I first went and wandered quickly around the area with some flats I've been looking at online, and then walked to the city centre from there. I could almost make my mind up about somewhere, but I'm still nagged by the fact it's such a long way from where I work (and me not driving).
Been out, and spent most of the time the way I usually do, wandernig around Newcastle looking for things but not actually buying anything, but today I first went and wandered quickly around the area with some flats I've been looking at online, and then walked to the city centre from there. I could almost make my mind up about somewhere, but I'm still nagged by the fact it's such a long way from where I work (and me not driving).
Posted: Thu Jul 28, 2011 4:57 pm
I am currently uncomfortable with the notion of taking a pay cut and losing my PTO accrual -- and I am increasingly getting promises of opportunities in the position I'm currently in, which could become tangible, but have not yet. Also, in the industry I'm in, there are few local alternatives. I was actually recently offered a great job at another company by a former boss -- it would have been a big step up on the career ladder, too -- but I said no, because I thought I had a lock on the position I was just turned down for, and I determined that I was not willing to relocate to Richmond, VA. I would have taken a soaking trying to sell my house in this craptastic market, and the relocation package was not enough to offset this problem.aliantha wrote:No interest in bailing yourself, then, dw? If it were me, I'd be thinking hard about it. Sounds to me like "not enough management experience" was an excuse to keep you right where you're most useful to them.
Plus, I'm still financially recovering from last year's divorce. However, that will soon change as well -- because of an unexpected inheritance, in a few short weeks I will be debt free (not counting my mortgage). [I would much rather have my grandmother still alive, but I am fortunate that she outlived my marriage.]
dw
Posted: Thu Jul 28, 2011 9:17 pm
That's awesome, Jaz - you were long overdue for something to go right.
I feel lousy. A month without a decent break and a week without sleep caught up with me yesterday with a vengeance. Ended up seeing double which led to a nasty headache. Fun times.
Thanks for the tip, I'll check it out. I ended up at the Skechers outlet after striking out at Payless. Paid more than I had wanted to, though I am reasonably happy with what I got, bit skeptical about how well they will hold up. Shoes these days don't seem designed to be walked in.Cameraman Jenn wrote: Sorus, just north of 17th on Mission is a store called Mission express and they have a bunch of hoochie mama jeans and boots on display but inside they also have a plethora of cheap functional comfy black sneakers. I got my new ones for twenty bucks. No name converse knockoffs with black toes and soles instead of white.
I feel lousy. A month without a decent break and a week without sleep caught up with me yesterday with a vengeance. Ended up seeing double which led to a nasty headache. Fun times.
Posted: Thu Jul 28, 2011 11:39 pm
I have a new love. The Hush Puppies Body Shoe. I went directly to their website and many of them are half price and free shipping. They are amazing. I have flat flat flat feet, a bunion on the BOTTOMSorus wrote: Thanks for the tip, I'll check it out. I ended up at the Skechers outlet after striking out at Payless. Paid more than I had wanted to, though I am reasonably happy with what I got, bit skeptical about how well they will hold up. Shoes these days don't seem designed to be walked in.
of my foot and yet they feel great.www.hushpuppies.com/US/en
Posted: Fri Jul 29, 2011 4:39 pm
Yes, but does your new love call you in the morning?
Posted: Sat Jul 30, 2011 2:35 am
Came home from work cranky. 
Took me a few minutes to realize that the issue was that I was tired, and that I really didn't want to rush through dinner, provisioning the cat, and packing the car so that we could make a headlong dash up 95 to New Jersey tonight for a post-midnight arrival at lorin's. As soon as I told Magickmaker, "I don't want to drive up tonight, let's leave in the morning," all the crankiness was gone. Shazam!
It's taken me 50+ years to get to this level of self-awareness, folks.
Also, it's hot as hell again here. 104 degrees today. Supposed to be cooler tomorrow -- we'll only be in the mid-90s.
Took me a few minutes to realize that the issue was that I was tired, and that I really didn't want to rush through dinner, provisioning the cat, and packing the car so that we could make a headlong dash up 95 to New Jersey tonight for a post-midnight arrival at lorin's. As soon as I told Magickmaker, "I don't want to drive up tonight, let's leave in the morning," all the crankiness was gone. Shazam!It's taken me 50+ years to get to this level of self-awareness, folks.
Also, it's hot as hell again here. 104 degrees today. Supposed to be cooler tomorrow -- we'll only be in the mid-90s.
Posted: Sat Jul 30, 2011 3:18 am
no worries, it took me from 13 to round about 40 to figure out my hormone cycle with enough accuracy to predict and prevent little accidents!aliantha wrote:It's taken me 50+ years to get to this level of self-awareness, folks.
and then a couple more years to figure out that those hormones were making me insane and had done for most of
my life, and then another one or so before i got brave enough to SAY
to people what the hell was wrong with me. then they removed the
problem!
so...yeah...better late than never i say!
Posted: Sat Jul 30, 2011 4:02 am
I got a package notice from usps the other day and I thought it was a package I had been told to expect but when I picked it up this morning it was something I had totally forgotten about. My friend Terry sent me this link for a promotion for a free sample of this face cream she loves so I had ordered it over a month ago and it finally got here. I am kinda excited to try it tomorrow but still wondering where my other promised package is. I'm also happy about next Tuesday. I was theoretically supposed to paint the breakroom this past Tuesday with a co-worker that is a nice guy but seriously annoys me as he NEVER STOPS TALKING, EVER. My boss postponed it to this coming Tuesday and gave me a different co-worker to help me instead so it should be quite fun and I no longer need my preset alibi witness to vouch that I just slipped and the paint roller ended up in my other co-worker's mouth accidentally.
I have one more day of work tomorrow which will be full of monotonous copy center assembly work and then two days off. YAY. I must find some time to fit laundry in to those two days though.
I have one more day of work tomorrow which will be full of monotonous copy center assembly work and then two days off. YAY. I must find some time to fit laundry in to those two days though.
Posted: Sun Jul 31, 2011 1:03 am
Cameraman Jenn wrote:My boss postponed it to this coming Tuesday and gave me a different co-worker to help me instead so it should be quite fun and I no longer need my preset alibi witness to vouch that I just slipped and the paint roller ended up in my other co-worker's mouth accidentally.
Sitting on the deck in lorin's backyard right now. Lorin's walking Helldog, Magickmaker is dangling her legs in the pool, and I'm trying to type in the dark.
We had a swim earlier, and lorin grilled turkey burgers and veggies for dinner. Danlo had to hang with his family today, but he's supposed to be back tomorrow. Looking forward to it. 
Posted: Sun Jul 31, 2011 2:14 am
sounds a blast ali.
slept most of today. got rain, and my sinuses acting up. back hurts. ugh.
the funeral was yesterday and went well. very sad but very celbratory as well. great stories told. it rained at the gravesite.
did not realize i missed my ex-coworkers. maybe i head back to that unit at some point - don't know.
slept most of today. got rain, and my sinuses acting up. back hurts. ugh.
the funeral was yesterday and went well. very sad but very celbratory as well. great stories told. it rained at the gravesite.
did not realize i missed my ex-coworkers. maybe i head back to that unit at some point - don't know.
Posted: Sun Jul 31, 2011 5:53 am
I'm jealous of you lot in NJ. Glad the funeral went well and it sounds like it helped you to process some of your feelings, Null.
I had the most annoying commute home today. The bus driver was apparently in a mood and was already in some obnoxious chest thumping pissing contest with a younger passenger over music. I guess the guy had his music too loud, the bus driver asked him to turn it down and the twenty something guy made a snide remark about age and musical taste. What should have been a twenty five minute bus ride turned into over an hour of hell with the bus driver getting up out of his seat to go back and talk at the guy about how the guy knew nothing about him and on to some weird tangent about how if the guy had a cd on him, the driver would buy it off him for twenty bucks. Each stop lasted about five minutes. The bus driver talked loudly at the guy the entire time he was driving in between stops as well. It finally culminated in the bus driver throwing twenty bucks at the guy so he could save up for a recording studio to prove the bus driver wrong and the guy got off the bus. Unfortunately this occurred one stop before my exit. I got off the bus... finally.... and entered the train station to hear my train boarding. I ran but just barely missed it so I had to wait another 23 minutes for another train. At one point during the tirade these guys had gotten on the bus and sat in the back by me and were laughing. I laughed at first but it was no longer funny as I was beginning to wonder if I would make it home before I died of old age or had to go all donner party on the other passengers so I looked at them and said, "It's not funny, I've been listening to this shit for 40 minutes so far, I'm only half way to my stop, should have been there fifteen minutes ago and all I want is for the bus driver to shut the fuck up and drive the fucking bus." They all shut up and looked at me like I was a nutter but they stopped laughing. I am a nutter but still, it was way over the top. It took me almost two and a half hours to get home. Moments like this really make me want to get out of SF for a while. Can't remember if I posted about the creepy guy who was all up in my space on my walk home from the train station the other night. I'm also sick of walking out of my door and being mistaken for a free change and cigarette dispenser. I know some things won't change from city to city but I'm just so frustrated I feel like something has to change or I'll lose what little is left of my mind.
Ok, rant over.... for now.
I had the most annoying commute home today. The bus driver was apparently in a mood and was already in some obnoxious chest thumping pissing contest with a younger passenger over music. I guess the guy had his music too loud, the bus driver asked him to turn it down and the twenty something guy made a snide remark about age and musical taste. What should have been a twenty five minute bus ride turned into over an hour of hell with the bus driver getting up out of his seat to go back and talk at the guy about how the guy knew nothing about him and on to some weird tangent about how if the guy had a cd on him, the driver would buy it off him for twenty bucks. Each stop lasted about five minutes. The bus driver talked loudly at the guy the entire time he was driving in between stops as well. It finally culminated in the bus driver throwing twenty bucks at the guy so he could save up for a recording studio to prove the bus driver wrong and the guy got off the bus. Unfortunately this occurred one stop before my exit. I got off the bus... finally.... and entered the train station to hear my train boarding. I ran but just barely missed it so I had to wait another 23 minutes for another train. At one point during the tirade these guys had gotten on the bus and sat in the back by me and were laughing. I laughed at first but it was no longer funny as I was beginning to wonder if I would make it home before I died of old age or had to go all donner party on the other passengers so I looked at them and said, "It's not funny, I've been listening to this shit for 40 minutes so far, I'm only half way to my stop, should have been there fifteen minutes ago and all I want is for the bus driver to shut the fuck up and drive the fucking bus." They all shut up and looked at me like I was a nutter but they stopped laughing. I am a nutter but still, it was way over the top. It took me almost two and a half hours to get home. Moments like this really make me want to get out of SF for a while. Can't remember if I posted about the creepy guy who was all up in my space on my walk home from the train station the other night. I'm also sick of walking out of my door and being mistaken for a free change and cigarette dispenser. I know some things won't change from city to city but I'm just so frustrated I feel like something has to change or I'll lose what little is left of my mind.
Ok, rant over.... for now.
Posted: Sun Jul 31, 2011 6:06 am
come to small town america jenn. we have a couple homeless people here, but they don't bother you. of course you need a car, we have a bus but i rarely get to use it. they had a stop on our street but moved it.
we run into what you did sometimes in houston, society has become more course. makes the commune sound better.
the funeral helped. it was nice to be around people i liked from work. i would go back in a heartbeat, but schedule and money may force me to stay at a unit i hate.
we have a couple homeless people here, but they don't bother you. of course you need a car, we have a bus but i rarely get to use it. they had a stop on our street but moved it. we run into what you did sometimes in houston, society has become more course. makes the commune sound better.
the funeral helped. it was nice to be around people i liked from work. i would go back in a heartbeat, but schedule and money may force me to stay at a unit i hate.
Posted: Sun Jul 31, 2011 12:17 pm
Walking home tonight (broke again), saw our new duty manager walking up ahead of me. I've got mixed feelings about him- he's nice enough, but he's one of those guys who just rubs people the wrong way in social interactions.
Anyway, I come up alongside him and he's crying hard. Turns out he was told just before his shift started that one of his friends had committed suicide a couple of days ago. Well, what do you say to that? My ever tactful instincts settled on: "Fuck, bro."
We walked and talked. I talked about a friend of mine who had attempted suicide, and one who dropped dead of a heart attack. He talked about some other friends of his who, when he was a kid, . We talked about suicide and depression in general. Then, bizarrely, we talked about religion, creationism, Billy Conolly, and how neither of us cared about rugby and were dreading the impending RWC. By the time I left him we were at least joking around and laughing a bit.
My thoughts are with him and the rest of the girl's loved ones tonight.
Anyway, I come up alongside him and he's crying hard. Turns out he was told just before his shift started that one of his friends had committed suicide a couple of days ago. Well, what do you say to that? My ever tactful instincts settled on: "Fuck, bro."
We walked and talked. I talked about a friend of mine who had attempted suicide, and one who dropped dead of a heart attack. He talked about some other friends of his who, when he was a kid,
Spoiler
had cut their wrists while he was going to the bathroom on a sleepover.
. We talked about suicide and depression in general. Then, bizarrely, we talked about religion, creationism, Billy Conolly, and how neither of us cared about rugby and were dreading the impending RWC. By the time I left him we were at least joking around and laughing a bit.My thoughts are with him and the rest of the girl's loved ones tonight.