Kevin's Watch

Posted: **Thu Oct 12, 2006 2:36 am**

sgtnull wrote:Wizard of Oz?
I'd rather the grandkids read that than most kid's books.

I've actually never read Oz. But my assumption is that this person is listing a number of books which people actually do take seriously, but they believe are crap (Brooks Brown, Heinlein, Hubbard, Rand, Roberts). So they're not likely to go after kids books with silly titles like foxy fox.

www.amazon.com/Foxy-Lets-Read-Togerther ... 1575650037

EDIT-Ok, sersiously, I did not intend that listing of authors to be in alphabetical order.

Posted: **Thu Oct 12, 2006 6:12 am**

My nomination for worst book I ever read all the way through was 100 Years of Solitude by Gabriel García Márquez.

Here is the blurb about it at Amazon:

Editorial Reviews
Amazon.com
"Many years later, as he faced the firing squad, Colonel Aureliano Buendía was to remember that distant afternoon when his father took him to discover ice."

It is typical of Gabriel García Márquez that it will be many pages before his narrative circles back to the ice, and many chapters before the hero of One Hundred Years of Solitude, Buendía, stands before the firing squad. In between, he recounts such wonders as an entire town struck with insomnia, a woman who ascends to heaven while hanging laundry, and a suicide that defies the laws of physics:

A trickle of blood came out under the door, crossed the living room, went out into the street, continued on in a straight line across the uneven terraces, went down steps and climbed over curbs, passed along the Street of the Turks, turned a corner to the right and another to the left, made a right angle at the Buendía house, went in under the closed door, crossed through the parlor, hugging the walls so as not to stain the rugs, went on to the other living room, made a wide curve to avoid the dining-room table, went along the porch with the begonias, and passed without being seen under Amaranta's chair as she gave an arithmetic lesson to Aureliano José, and went through the pantry and came out in the kitchen, where Úrsula was getting ready to crack thirty-six eggs to make bread.
"Holy Mother of God!" Úrsula shouted.

And listen to this crap. . .

William Kennedy, New York Times Book Review
"One Hundred Years of Solitude is the first piece of literature since the Book of Genesis that should be required reading for the entire human race. It takes up not long after Genesis left off and carries through to the air age, reporting on everything that happened in between with more lucidity, wit, wisdom, and poetry that is expected from 100 years of novelists, let alone one man...Mr. Garcia Marquez has done nothing less than to create in the reader a sense of all that is profound, meaningful, and meaningless in life."

When the book was over I wanted to demand the hours of my life I had wasted reading it back. What a waste of paper. .

~Lyr

Posted: **Thu Oct 12, 2006 3:23 pm**

Sounds quite bizarre Lyr

Reminds me of when I read "The World According to Garp", another rubbish book full of random gibberish that IIRC received an inordinate amount of critical acclaim.

Posted: **Thu Oct 12, 2006 5:01 pm**

Well 100 Years of Solitude is on my to-read pile; Gabriel Garcia Marquez is considered one of the better south american writers of the twentieth century, and the best of the 'magic realists'. I've read a short novel of his, Memories of My Melancholy Whores, and I enjoyed it. The author's name is on several lists of must-read literature I've seen, lists by people I trust to have good taste in books.
To each their own, I suppose. Sorry you didn't enjoy the book (I think every book read should be an enjoyable experience).

On that note, I'll bring up my pet favourite for these discussions: One For Sorrow, Two For Joy by Clive Woodall. It's been successful, had a sequel published, it was compared to Watership Down, optioned by Disney... God, what crap will people endure just because it has talking animals? I got to the end of the first part (the published book was composed of two stories) and realised that there wasn't really anything of worth in it; I had to struggle through the second half. Reading it was like a chore, no enjoyment involved.

Posted: **Thu Oct 12, 2006 11:36 pm**

Murrin wrote:On that note, I'll bring up my pet favourite for these discussions: One For Sorrow, Two For Joy by Clive Woodall. It's been successful, had a sequel published, it was compared to Watership Down, optioned by Disney... God, what crap will people endure just because it has talking animals? I got to the end of the first part (the published book was composed of two stories) and realised that there wasn't really anything of worth in it; I had to struggle through the second half. Reading it was like a chore, no enjoyment involved.

This reminds me of Fire Bringer, which is a reasonably well written book which is far too much like Watership Down, but with deer. I'd consider it a rip off, which is a shame, because Watership Down is good enough to be stolen from without being copied (heh). However, the author's next book, The Sight, which is a wolf animal book, provided me with enjoyment a few years ago. I think my tastes have developed much further in my most recent 3 years than in the 13 years preceeding that, but my recollection of the book is that it's possibly worth reading and such.

Posted: **Fri Oct 13, 2006 7:13 am**

Trapper439 wrote:Reminds me of when I read "The World According to Garp", another rubbish book full of random gibberish that IIRC received an inordinate amount of critical acclaim.

I like The World According to Garp.

Found it blackly funny, and reread it every few years.

--A

Posted: **Fri Oct 13, 2006 3:57 pm**

Avatar wrote:
Trapper439 wrote:Reminds me of when I read "The World According to Garp", another rubbish book full of random gibberish that IIRC received an inordinate amount of critical acclaim.
I like The World According to Garp. Found it blackly funny, and reread it every few years.

--A

I'll admit I only read it once when I was about 13. I found it odd, although I did appreciate the:

Spoiler

black humour in Garp's conception, and the oddball nature of the "parking without lights" tragedy.

Posted: **Mon Oct 16, 2006 8:33 am**

You'd probably appreciate it a lot more now.

--A

Posted: **Mon Oct 16, 2006 11:20 am**

Harry Potter books. 1,2 and 3 were all lame. I can't say much on the others but I can guess where they are going.

Posted: **Mon Oct 16, 2006 5:50 pm**

Frankenstein by Mary Shelly was a crashing bore. I tried it after Dracula by Stoker and couldn't have chosen a worse book to follow.

Posted: **Tue Oct 17, 2006 7:40 am**

*shrug* I like it. A Modern Prometheus. That's what he was.

--A

Posted: **Tue Oct 17, 2006 11:05 am**

Plato's Republic... it's like a sleep pill

Posted: **Tue Oct 17, 2006 12:55 pm**

combine Frankenstein with Plato and put ambien out of business.

Posted: **Tue Oct 17, 2006 9:49 pm**

or get a Frankenstein who questions whether his actions are just and thinks he's tided down in a cave...

Posted: **Wed Oct 18, 2006 12:26 am**

or Frankenstein starring in Atlas Shrugged.

Posted: **Mon Oct 23, 2006 10:16 pm**

Easy for me - Eldest by Paolini.

Most outright plagiarism from a wider array of authors I have ever seen.

Posted: **Tue Oct 31, 2006 11:27 am**

That's called "derivation".

My picks would be
The Yellow Sailor, Steve Weiner
www.reviewers-choice.com/the_yellow_sailor.htm
The Standing Dead, Ricardo Pinto
www.reviewers-choice.com/the_standing_dead.htm

In both of those reviews I was as polite as my outraged feelings would permit.

Posted: **Tue Oct 31, 2006 11:40 am**

Queeaqueg wrote:Plato's Republic... it's like a sleep pill

Stunned silence . . . . . The book's a masterpiece! Well, each to their own.

Posted: **Tue Oct 31, 2006 11:45 am**

Bearing in mind that Q is half your age, Lore.

Posted: **Thu Mar 29, 2007 4:14 am**

Something about Job by Robert A Heinlen.

I could only get about halfway, but it sucked.

It centered on some failingly bad luck cursed guy, who is living through Ragnarok.

Weak.

Kevin's Watch

Worst Book Ever