Songs to be dumped by

[Alynna Lis Eachann]

For me, it'd be some sort of soundtrack - Stargate, probably, or Star Trek: First Contact, or maybe a piece from the first volume of Due South called "Victoria's Secret."

Meanwhile, my newly-ex would be laughing, recalling cruel and clever hints while listening to this:

Weird Al Yankovic: "You Don't Love Me Anymore"

We've been together for so very long
But now things are changing, oh I wonder what's wrong?
Seems you don't want me around
The passion is gone and the flame's died down

I guess I lost a little bit of self-esteem
That time that you made it with the whole hockey team
You used to think I was nice
Now you tell all your friends that I'm the Antichrist

Oh, why did you disconnect the breaks in my car?
That kind of thing is hard to ignore
Got a funny feeling you don't love me anymore

I knew that we were having problems when
You put those piranhas in my bathtub again
You're still the light of my life
Oh darling, I'm beggin', won't you put down that knife?

You know, I even think it's kinda cute the way
You poison my coffee just a little each day
I still remember the way that you laughed
When you pushed me down that elevator shaft

Oh, if you don't mind me asking, what's this poisonous cobra
Doing in my underwear drawer?
Sometime I get to thinking you don't love me any more

You slammed my face down on the barbecue grill
Now my scars are all healing, but my heart never will
You set my house on fire
You pulled out my chest hairs with an old pair of pliers

Oh, you think that I'm ugly and you say that I'm cheap
You shaved off my eyebrows while I was asleep
You drilled a hole in my head
Then you dumped me in a drainage ditch and left me for dead

Oh, you know this really isn't like you at all
You never acted this way before
Honey, something tells me you don't love me any more, oh no no
Got a funny feeling you don't love me anymore

[dennisrwood]

"Rearviewmirror"

i took a drive today
time to emancipate
i guess it was the beatings made me wise
but i'm not about to give thanks, or apologize
i couldn't breathe, holdin' me down
hand on my face, pushed to the ground
enmity gauged, united by fear
forced to endure what i could not forgive...
i seem to look away
wounds in the mirror waved
it wasn't my surface most defiled
head at your feet, fool to your crown
fist on my plate, swallowed it down
enmity gauged, united by fear
tried to endure what i could not forgive
saw things
saw things
saw things
saw things
clearer
clearer
once you, were in my...
rearview mirror...
i gather speed from you fucking with me
once and for all i'm far away
i hardly believe, finally the shades...are raised...
saw things so much clearer
once you, once you...
rearviewmirror...
saw things so much clearer
once you, once you...
rearviewmirror...

[matrixman]

Okay, I don't have a song to list here, but I do have a good line from a favorite film of mine that sums up my feelings about the whole dating/dumping game:

You know what's the worst thing about somebody breaking up with you? It's when you remember how little you thought about the people you broke up with, and you realize that that is how little they're thinking about you. You'd like to think you're both in all this pain, but really, they're just like, "Hey, I'm glad you're gone."

[danlo]

How to dump a "lolita":



Young girl, get out of my mind
My love for you is way out of line
Better run, girl,
You're much too young, girl
With all the charms of a woman
You've kept the secret of your youth
You led me to believe
You're old enough
To give me Love
And now it hurts to know the truth, Oh,
Beneath your perfume and make-up
You're just a baby in disguise
And though you know
That it is wrong to be
Alone with me
That come on look is in your eyes, Oh,
So hurry home to your mama
I'm sure she wonders where you are
Get out of here
Before I have the time
To change my mind
'Cause I'm afraid we'll go too far, Oh,
Young girl

Here's your trivia: name the band that first sang this

[onewyteduck]

Wasn't that Gary Puckett and the Union Gap? (A real blast from the past )

[danlo]

Give that girl a cupie doll! We have a wiener!

[onewyteduck]

Yea! I shall name him....Danlo!

[danlo]

Hug him and squeeze him and call him George...

[onewyteduck]

How could this one have slipped by?

The Breakup Song The Greg Kihn Band

We had broken up for good just an hour before
Uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh
Now I'm staring at the bodies as they're dancing 'cross the floor
Uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh
And then the band slowed the tempo when the music took you down
Uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh
It was the same old song with the melancholy sound
Uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh

They don't write 'em like that anymore
They just don't write 'em like that anymore

We been living together for a million years
Uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh
But now it feels so strange out in the atmospheres
Uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh
And then the jukebox plays a song I used to know
Uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh
And now I'm staring at the bodies as they're dancing so slow
Uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh

They don't write 'em like that anymore
They don't write 'em like that anymore

Now I wind up staring at an empty glass
Uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh
Cause it's so easy to say that you'll forget your past
Uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh

They don't write 'em like that anymore
They don't write 'em like that anymore

They don't write 'em like that anymore
They don't write 'em like that anymore

[dennisrwood]

Bob Mould The Last Night lyrics
Tonight's the last night that I'm coming home to you
It seems at last my mind is made for good
There'll be no more excuses like "I wasn't near a phone"
You wouldn't call me even if you could

Tonight's the last night that I'm waiting up for you
It doesn't seem to matter if I do
'Cause you've got friends and places where you feel much more at ease
I've come to realize that's nothing new

I've learned one thing for certain
With you near me all this time
That what was yours is yours, what's mine is mine
But of all of these possessions I have let go of the greatest one of all

Tonight's the last night that I'm gonna feel this way
This emptiness is so hard to explain
I've changed my number and the locks on all the doors
And I hope I never go through this again

Tonight's the last night that I'll ever spend with you
And please don't ask me why 'cause I don't know
It's just a funny feeling that's been building up inside
Tonight I have decided I must go
I must go

[danlo]

And to take care of the whole thing for once and for all:

I used to love her
But I had to kill her
I used to love her, Mm, yeah
But I had to kill her
I had to put her six feet under
And I can still hear her complain

I used to love her, Oo, yeah
But I had to kill her
I used to love her, Oo, yeah
But I had to kill her
I knew I'd miss her
So I had to keep her
She's buried right in my backyard
Oh yeah, Oo yeah, whoa, oh yeah

I used to love her
But I had to kill her
I used to love her, Mm, yeah
But I had to kill her
She bitched so much, She drove me nuts
And now I'm happier this way, yeah
Whoa, oh yeah

I used to love her
But I had to kill her
I used to love her, Mm, yeah
But I had to kill her
I had to put her, Oo, six feet under
And I can still hear her complain

[Caer Bombadil]

When I broke up with my 1st ex-fiance in the late '80's, it was from my POV a "good" breakup (even tho I still miss her.) Whitesnake's "Here I Go Again" was current, & that became my anthem.

...And here I go again on my own
Goin’ down the only road I’ve ever known,
Like a drifter I was born to walk alone
And I’ve made up my mind
I ain’t wasting no more time...

OTOH, I really hoped to marry my 2nd ex-fiance, but she decided to return home, to a foriegn country, to stay when she went back on a visit. About the time it started to become apparent she wasn't going to use the return half of her plane ticket, "Sometimes Love Just Ain't Enough" by Patty Smith & Don Henley, got onto heavy radio rotation.

...it makes a sound like thunder
it makes me feel like rain.
And like a fool who will never see the truth,
I keep thinking something's gonna change.

But there's a danger in loving somebody too much,
and it's sad when you know it's your heart you can't trust.
There's a reason why people don't stay where they are.
Baby, sometimes, love just aint enough.

And there's no way home
when it's late at night and you're all alone.
Are there things that you wanted to say?
And do you feel me beside you in your bed,
there beside you, where I used to lay?
....

[safetyjedi]

When I was in college I was engaged to this girl, we had set a wedding date and everything until I went to the movies with some of my buddies and caught her at the movies with this foreign student from Iran in a lip lock. I went up and waved to her, told her to kiss a part of my anatomy that I sit upon and then left. She followed me out, and broke up right then and there. On my way home that song "All by Myself" was playing and my broke radio only got one station. I laugh about it now as here breaking up with me was the best thing that ever happened.

[Cail]

Without a doubt, the best break-up song of all time. Don't read it if you don't like foul language.



*Hey! Do you know what you are?*
*You're an asshole! An ASSHOLE!*

Some of you might not agree
'Cause you probably likes a lot of misery
But think a while and you will see...
Broken hearts are for assholes
Broken hearts are for assholes
Are you an asshole?
Broken hearts are for assholes
Are you an asshole too?
Whatcha gonna do, 'cause you're an asshole...

Maybe you think you're a lonely guy
Maybe you think you're too tough to cry
So you went to *The Grape*,
Just to give it a try
And Dagmar
*Without a doubt, the ugliest sonofabitch I ever saw in my life*
Was his name...
*One Two Three Four!*
The whiskers sticking out from underneath of his
Pancake make-up
*And yet he was a beautiful lady*
Nearly drove you insane
*Let's talk about Leather: LEATHERRRRRR*
And so you kissed a little sailor
*Tex Abel, starring in the latest Shepperton Production:*
Who had just blew in from Spain
*Sir Richard Pump-A-Loaf*
You sniffed the reeking buns of Angel
*The story of a demented bread-boffer*
And acted like it was cocaine
*Cucumber pud annexed to a fine whole-wheat loaf*
You were dazzled by the exciting new costume of Ko-Ko
*Then on Tuesday night, Ceasar's back in town*
In a way you can't explain
*Facing off in a no-holds-barred tag team grudge match
With Kona.*
And so you worked the wall with Michael
*Three-hundred-seventy-nine pounds of Samoan dynamite*
Which gave your back an awful strain
*Volcanic Hell*
But you came back on Sunday for the gong show
*Next Thursday, teen town's finest...*
But you forgot what I was sayin'
'Cause you're an asshole, You're an asshole
That's right
You're an asshole, you're an asshole
Yes, yes
You're an asshole, you're an asshole
That's right
You're an asshole, you're an asshole

*Now you been to The Grape 'n' you been to The Chest*
*'N' now I think you know what you are: you're an asshole*

You say you can't live with what you been through
Well, ladies you can be an asshole too
You might pretend you ain't got one on the bottom of you,
But don't fool yerself girl
It's lookin' at you
Don't fool yerself girl
It's winkin' at you
Don't fool yerself girl
It's blinkin' at you
That's why I say
I'm gonna ram it, ram it, ram it
Ram it up yer poop chute
*Corn hole*
Ram it, ram it, ram it
Ram it up yer poop chute
*Fist f*ck*
Ram it, ram it, ram it
Ram it up yer poop chute
*Wrist-watch; Crisco*
Ram it, ram it, ram it
Ram it up yer poop chute
*Pud!*

Don't fool yerself, girl
It's goin' right up yer poop chute
Don't fool yerself, girl
It's goin' right up yer poop chute
(etc., repeats)

*Aw, I knew you'd be surprised...*