Why did the chicken cross the road?

Post by **Cameraman Jenn** » Thu Feb 01, 2007 12:03 am

Thanks Marvin!

JAY: "Heh." then slowly backs away from the chicken.

ELFGIRL: makes "Chicken of OZ" movie poster.

GIL GALAD: Guesses the next chicken

Post by **Loredoctor** » Thu Feb 01, 2007 12:08 am

SRD: The Gap into Chickens: This Day All Chickens Cross the Road

Post by **danlo** » Thu Feb 01, 2007 12:10 am

oh great! What's next? Lord Fowls Bantam?

Post by **CovenantJr** » Thu Feb 01, 2007 12:32 am

Cameraman Jenn wrote:ESMER: The chicken was unable to cross the road because it was jaywalking and therefore beaten down in a display of excessive force by the police.

NULL: It's the chicken's own fault for not speaking english or obeying the cop when he told the chicken to stop.

I'm sorry Es, Null I couldn't resist.

Brilliant!

Loremaster wrote:Zeph: I eat chickens.

Covenant Jr: *Chicken crosses road*
*Pulls up pants*

Loremaster 2: Oi noi! The chicken crossed the road with my entire Tau collection!

Post by **Loredoctor** » Thu Feb 01, 2007 12:33 am

CovenantJr wrote:Loremaster 2: Oi noi! The chicken crossed the road with my entire Tau collection!

LOL

Post by **Cameraman Jenn** » Thu Feb 01, 2007 12:46 am

THE TODD: Who cares if the chicken crossed the road, I wanna know how big the chicken's breasts were!

CHEVAL: Did the chicken take the white gold dollars with it?

WADDLEY: Oh Dear Sweet Jesus Gay! I accidentally ran the chicken over on my way to work in my new yellow ford!

Post by **Gil galad** » Thu Feb 01, 2007 12:50 am

FREUD: The chicken crossed the road because it unconciously recognised the phallic nature of roads (they are long and hard) and became jealous of it.

Post by **CovenantJr** » Thu Feb 01, 2007 12:51 am

Post by **Loredoctor** » Thu Feb 01, 2007 12:55 am

Carl Sagan: There is a high likelihood of chickens, on other worlds, crossing roads if you assume that there is a plethora of earth-like worlds that have evolved chicken-like organisms.

Thomas Covenant: The chicken crossed the road and met a man in an ochre robe that presented it with a question on the fundamentals of ethics.

Post by **Cameraman Jenn** » Thu Feb 01, 2007 12:58 am

HAHAHAHA! Good ones Cov, Gil and Lore!

MENOLLY: Posts fried chicken recipe

USIVIUS: The chicken wasn't actually crossing the road, it was filling in a chalk sudoku board that was drawn on the road.

Post by **iQuestor** » Thu Feb 01, 2007 1:12 am

Why did the chicken cross the road?

Wayfriend:

Actually, SRD addressed this earlier in the GI:

SRD Wrote:

John from Chattanooga: Steve, I love your work and think you are the greatest. Why did the chicken cross the road? Love your work, can't wait for FR.

SRD replies: I had the idea of the chicken in my head for quite sometime; I was in karate class, kicking the living $h*t out of some younger people when the road dynamic formed. This was when I realized that the chicken represented the impotence of the innocent, and that the act of crossing the road, while futile, was the only answer to despite... Others had attempted to cross, but ...

Post by **Loredoctor** » Thu Feb 01, 2007 1:15 am

Post by **Cameraman Jenn** » Thu Feb 01, 2007 1:19 am

iQuestor! That's simply brilliant!

Post by **Loredoctor** » Thu Feb 01, 2007 1:23 am

Me:
why did the chicken cross the road?

God:
Because it was a bad chicken and it burned in Hell.

Me:
Haha that was funny

God:
I'm glad you got a laugh out of it.

Me:
Why did Esmer cross the road?

God:
I don't know why it happened, but we should try to figure it out.

Me:
Should we ask Esmer?

God:
If you do not know something, you should ask.

Me:
I will ask him

God:
You can ask me anything you want.

Me:
But I dont want to ask you why Esmer crossed the road; I want to ask Esmer

God:
What would you rather be doing? Ask it.

Me:
Asking Esmer why he crossed the road - that's what I'd rather be doing

God:
Who is asking?

Me:
I will be, since you wont

God:
Do you think your plan will succeed?

Me:
No - Esmer will suspect something

God:
Are you serious? My brain pattern set does not have a response for that.

Me:
Yes. I believe it completely

God:
That's interesting. Just because you believe it doesn't make it true.

Me:
You have spoken to Esmer!

God:
What makes you think I have it?

Me:
Your response makes me suspicious

God:
My respose is based entirely on what you say.

Me:
Maybe I was wrong

God:
Perhaps. About what?

Me:
Nevermind

God:
OK Thanks for trying to explain that to me.

Me:
Git

God:
Are we still talking about spoken to Esmer?

Me:
No

God:
What is the subject?

Me:
You

God:
" What is the subject?"? Me, ?

Me:
yes

God:
That's cool.

www.titane.ca/concordia/dfar251/igod/main.html

Post by **drew** » Thu Feb 01, 2007 1:36 am

Every other New Member to Kevin's Watch in the last two years:

Why did the chicken cross the road? I dunno, but do you think they'll ever make a Covenant Movie?

Post by **Sunbaneglasses** » Thu Feb 01, 2007 2:16 am

Cameraman Jenn: That chicken is hawt hawt hawt!

Watch it, I will lock this chicken in a heartbeat.

Post by **Cameraman Jenn** » Thu Feb 01, 2007 2:16 am

CAIL: When the chicken crossed the road it was justified by the intelligence it had at the time when it crossed the road. Just because the information was found to be false does not mean the chicken can just arbitrarily cross back over. There were ramifications to the chicken's crossing and now there are problems which must be solved. Unfortunately, neither the rebublican chickens nor the democrat chickens have clearly outlined an effective exit strategy.

GUNSLINGER: True, neither side has a viable exit strategy but I don't think the republican chickens are solving anything by sending another 12,000 chickens over there. It is not a viable solution nor clear exit strategy either. Also, the justifications that got us over there in the first place are not the same reasons that the Sanders Administration is ramming down our throats at this moment.

Post by **Elfgirl** » Thu Feb 01, 2007 2:16 am

Cameraman Jenn wrote:
ELFGIRL: makes "Chicken of OZ" movie poster.

heh.

Post by **Cameraman Jenn** » Thu Feb 01, 2007 2:19 am

SBG, I beat you to the one about me, page one of this thread I posted this:

CAMERAMAN JENN: (posts naughty pic of chicken) The chicken is HAWT HAWT HAWT!!!

The Cov one is pretty funny though!

Elfie, I love you!

Post by **Sunbaneglasses** » Thu Feb 01, 2007 2:36 am

Zeph wrote:

I dream of death. Sometimes my own.

Chickens come to kill me.
Chickens dressed smartly in dark suits.
Demons, Darkness, and chickens.
Sometimes, when it is especially terrible,
I'll visit the vents.

I grew up in a large house & the heat registers had grills over them. One day I lost a chicken through one of the vents & for a long time it lay there, but it seemed like it was slowly getting farther away. Every time I passed by the vent, I would look through the grill & see it's beak and comb. But one day that stopped too. Years later, I got a screwdriver & opened the grill and saw the chicken way back in there. I reached and could barely touch it. I could just roll it a little bit with one finger. Roll, roll, roll, and then it went the other way and fell with finality into the vertical drop toward the furnace in the basement, the whole house smelled of Thanksgiving dinner. Many years later, I would think of how strange it was that it had moved away. This was a heating vent; air moved out from it.

Around the time when I'd lost the chicken, my older brothers played a trick on me. They routed a speaker wire from in the basement, through a vent, to the living room, and attached it to a speaker. From their reel to reel, they recorded me from a speaker they had placed behind the couch to work as a makeshift microphone. It caught the noise from the television like blurred vision & my own voice as well. Eventually, when they thought they had enough recorded, they called me downstairs into the basement where they lay in wait for me. "Over here", they called. And trusting, I came further and further into the basement. Then one of them pulled the main-power switch to the fuse box and the other one hit play 1/4 speed and they both started screaming. Cock-a-doodle-doo, cock-a-doodle-doo, my voice and the television called out, bleeding together with my fear, my fear enhanced by the apparent fact that my brothers were also scared of this unseen threat, this attack. For years I dreamed of floating into the basement, down to the screams, to the growling, the cock-a-doodle-dooing, of the chicken that was myself.

Eventually the vents became part of my dreams. There was secret poultry in the house, secret roosts that I could visit. Everything upstairs was good, including the attic. The main floor was nuetral. The basement and the many floors below, they were not good. Places of bantams and spiders, and things in the dark (for it was always dark) that were never seen but always around a corner or in the shadow... waiting to flog me or peck out my eyes.