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Posted: Fri Nov 02, 2007 4:53 am
by lucimay
pay no attention to him, iQ.
second is better.
it got
me in the gut.
Posted: Fri Nov 09, 2007 4:00 am
by iQuestor
Vain wrote:Hate to say this IQ but I preferred the original
Hey guy! what exactly did you not like about the second one? thanks!!
Posted: Sun Nov 25, 2007 11:16 pm
by Dreamscape
Great!
Posted: Sun Dec 02, 2007 1:35 am
by iQuestor
thanks Dreamscape!
Posted: Mon Dec 17, 2007 10:36 pm
by Seareach
Oooh...when did you write this one?
Fever dreams
What fever'd dreams has she awoke?
what tortured love have I bespoke?
Ebon Mane'd and eyes of frost,
she spake at me, my soul was lost.
she took me to her chamber-lair,
with silken bonds she kept me there.
in carnal bliss did we abide;
for hours or years I can't decide.
she free'd me then, an empty shell,
kissed me thrice and bade me well;
loosed my bonds and walked away.
where she's gone, I cannot say.
What fever'd dreams has she awoke?
what tortured love have I bespoke?
I dreamt her on some distant shore;
from here I'll love her, e'er more.
I can't remember seeing it before. I love it!
Posted: Mon Dec 17, 2007 11:17 pm
by Mortice Root
iQuestor-
I know nothing about poetry, but I know when something "hits" me. "Fever Dreams" and "The Burn Pile" were great! I really liked the almost archaic wording in "Fever Dreams", very nice! With "Burn Pile" I was totally caught off guard by the last stanza. I was reading along, in a pleasant remembrance kind of mood, then the last stanza really changed the whole tone from slightly melacholoy to almost heartbreakingly sad. Very nice.
The others were good too, but those two really grabbed me. Thanks for sharing.
Posted: Thu Dec 20, 2007 1:22 pm
by iQuestor
Sea: I wrote this this past summer. It is to be included in the Kevins Watch Anthology. Thanks so much for reading it
Mortice, thanks for your comments.
they made my day.
Posted: Thu Dec 20, 2007 4:13 pm
by Mortice Root
You're welcome. Anytime.
Posted: Thu Mar 11, 2010 1:48 am
by iQuestor
bump in anticipation of KeWaPoMo or however it is LM spells it....