Kevin's Watch

You've got to be kidding me. Change is fine, but come on, this isn't about anything other than subverting our principles.

Think about it....Think of the kids that would result from the unholy union of a child and your coat hanger step-child. Those kids (if you can even call them that) will be the object of ridicule all the way through school.

Then who's going to hire them? Who wants them living in their neighborhood? They'll end up being a burden on society.

That would be true if it was a singular change of only my progeny, but you can't deny that dinosaur/chicken and "other" marriages are on the rise.

At first, sure it may just be my child. But in the future, it will be your kid that would be the ridicule. When everyone is turning up dinokens, it's hard to be a human child.

Don't try to stop the future, Cail.

And you think that's acceptable? You'd be OK with a dinoken boss? Or a bundtcrab President? Or a graterbean doctor operating on you?

Madness.

AND a squashcabinet mailman and a Professor of Zebrapottomus Studies.

They are all people, Cail. It's whats on the inside that matters. No matter how freakish the outside looks.

Exactly. Do you honestly think that a refrigebear or a duckelope are going to share the same values and goals as we do? Absolutely not. They're different, they want different things out of life.

Look, I respect those differences, and I'm not saying that a box of staples and a coffee mug can't love each other and/or be together. But marriage? No way.

What is marriage except a formalized versions OF that love? The love between a toaster and rattlesquiril is the same love that I have for American girls. Thus, the marriage is the same thing, once you get past the outward appearances.

As for the goals, I can barely say that I share the same goals with the rest of the people of my species. I would probably get along BETTER with a telepoodla than anyone else.

Marriage is a formal government endorsement of the union, and conveys certain privileges with it.

I don't want my tax dollars supporting a Xerosoupadee and an extension-cordephant simply looking for a break.

Looking for a break? Just because they're different doesn't make them criminals!

An electric lightbull has just as much right to marriage as anyone else!

Marriage is defined as one man and one woman, not one lightbull, one salad fork, and a pair of pliers.

I'm not saying they're criminals, and the whole cutlery drawer can do whatever it likes in the privacy of their bedroom (or drawer), but when they start looking for taxpayer and government endorsement and support for their lifestyle choices, that's crossing the line.

These definitions were written in a different time with different beliefs. As the times change, so must the rules.

This is no longer the age where the love that a can opener and my pet turtle needs to be hidden! It should be embraced and allowed to flourish!

No one is saying that they can't express their love for one another (though I'd prefer not to see it). I'm just saying that they shouldn't be allowed to marry.

Look, it's not like the US is alone in blocking this. Hell, there are many nations that would imprison, institutionalize, or kill a Sharpie and tofu for simply being in public together. I'm not suggesting that level of intolerance.

But let's face it, you and I have heard that "oil and water don't mix" for all of our lives, now you want to let them marry?

Our government has also at one time or another endorse the blockage of black voting, equal opportunity for women and the Vietnam War.

Now your telling me that it endorses stopping a letter opener and a cantelope from marrying? Their community wont stand for such action for very long. I'm only suggesting solving the problem now, before it gets ugly.

I agree with Balon. You can't suppress change. If you do then society will never evolve from the stagnant spot it is in, the spot where a rotweibbit and a spooraffe can't love one another or be free to produce roweibbitspooraffedren.

(awww...Jenn! I was hoping they would tag alone for a full page!)

Cameraman Jenn wrote:I agree with Balon. You can't suppress change. If you do then society will never evolve from the stagnant spot it is in, the spot where a rotweibbit and a spooraffe can't love one another or be free to produce roweibbitspooraffedren.

...not to mention were-chihauhaus...

It looks like this topic has shifted from polygamy to mating with inanimate objects.

Look, we're all made of the same stuff: atoms. Why should we, as humans, horde our sentience over radio waves and dovetail saws? What is wrong with loving a chemical element? A protein?

I guess you people are the type that keep DVD cases on shelves and never let them out. Sick.

On the other hand, dinosaur tastes just like chicken...

See, we're all the same under the skin.

Are you implying that you taste like chicken too?

Whoa whoa. I support equal love and rights to marriage for ALL forms of love.

Not canabalism.

You can eat your dinosaur somewhere else buddy.

I can neither confirm nor deny that.

Children, children...

Perhaps the wisdom of Bhakti, the G-d of Love, can settle this? Oh, where is he in such a time of need?

...although, as G-d of Nature, even he may be torn by such unnatural...errr...pairings...