His lyrics not only were creative, but actually also made sense. (Except for the thing with the videotape - huh?)
YES!!!!!!
Thank you.
Thank you all.
I'd like to thank my family, my friends, my fans and most of all K... [beginning of loud music that drowns out the rest of acceptance speech.... ]
Joan, Covenant, Angus and the Arch of Time walk into a bar,
The Arch goes up to the bartender and says, "Gimme a beer!"
"Aren't you a poetic literary concept?" asks the bartender?
"As far as you're concerned, yes," says the Arch.
"Then get out. We don't serve your kind around here."
So they all go outside, Covenant uses Wild Magic to twist the Arch up and around and Angus makes Joan blast the ends into fragments by creating caesures. Then they all walk back inside and the Arch orders a beer.
The bartender asks, with a suspicious look, "Aren't you the Arch who was just in here trying to get a drink?"
"Nope, I'm a frayed knot."
Last edited by High Lord Tolkien on Tue Oct 14, 2008 11:23 pm, edited 3 times in total.
High Lord Tolkien wrote:Covenant, Angus, Joan and the Arch of Time walk into a bar,
The Arch goes up to the bartender and says, "Gimme a beer!"
"Aren't you a poetic literary concept?" asks the bartender?
"As far as you're concerned, yes," says the Arch.
"Then get out. We don't serve your kind around here."
So they all go outside, Covenant uses Wild Magic to twist the Arch up and around and Angus makes Joan blast the ends into fragments by creating caesures. Then they all walk back inside and the Arch orders a beer.
The bartender gives him a suspicious look and asks, "Aren't you the Arch who was just in here trying to get a drink?"
"Nope, I'm a frayed knot."
Nice take on an old classic.
"Persevera, per severa, per se vera." Persist through difficulties, even though it is hard.
Proud Member of THOOOTP.
Buy my best friend's fantastic fantasy book! Pulse is also available here.
The bartender looks up, sighs, and reaches for the bottle of Redemption Bitters. "Guys, you know this is supposed to be Happy Hour, right?"
He is staggered by a coruscation of scowls.
dw
BCakaDWakaD!
- Brother Charn
***************************************
"Shadows beware! The Light of Day shall find you, no matter where you lurk." - Archbeacon Davos
I know, you're all taken by his use of the word "coruscation".
I thought it was impressive too.
But may I just point out the definition doesn't really fit with how he's using it?
Also, he strayed from the required text given by Wayfriend.
- Brother Charn
***************************************
"Shadows beware! The Light of Day shall find you, no matter where you lurk." - Archbeacon Davos
Darsint stood on unsteady feet that even now wept their failure, and had a couple of nasty corns on them to boot. He swayed precariously as the cerulean sky lurched nauseatingly before him. In short, he was done for. This was a challenge greater than any he had faced before, either as a warrior or as the Castellan of Mordant; and he failed; miserably. He fell forward and retched out the bitter bile of his loss. Loss, and much, much more. A gentle voice spoke: ‘Be not distressed. Diamondraught is not for the faint of heart, and none can drink it as a giant can, my friend. Take heart in that amongst men, you have drank your share and more. Many songs will be sung of your foolishness this night’. It was Saltheart Foamfollower. Or at least it was one of the Foamfollowers he saw; he couldn’t be sure, but he thought it was the middle one. As Darsint passed out, he noted with satisfaction that he at least puked all over Hile Troys’ boots, and as Hile leaned over to clean them off his sunglasses fell off. Muttering menacingly, Hile sucker punched Covenant; who jumped up to retaliate, screaming 'Hellfire! Troy, you bastard; what do you do for an encore, steal children's lunch money?'. Immediately, Covenent tripped over the flaccid form of Darsint and fell hands first onto the Staff of Law carelessly left on the ground by Lord Kevin, who was totally landwasted. Upon contact with the staff, the white gold exploded, killing seventeen Ramen and knocking over Morn Hyland; who was immediately raped by Nick Succorso. Of course, this pissed off the Ranyhyn, who had just took a timeout before kicking a field goal, and they wanted their Gatorade and Amanibhavam, or whatever the hell that grass was called. Well, it was all gone, stolen by Hobbits that were smoking it in the distance with Gandalf and whatever Lord that wanted to become a High Lord. Anyway, the ensuing melee was too confusing to describe, but suffice it to say that Darsint woke up in the hospital with a really bad headache and a hoof-like indentation on his chest plate.
Dandelion don't tell no lies
Dandelion will make you wise
Tell me if she laughs or cries
Blow away dandelion
I'm afraid there's no denying
I'm just a dandelion
a fate I don't deserve.
dANdeLION wrote:This reminds me of one of my first posts......
dANdelion wrote:
Darsint stood on unsteady feet that even now wept their failure, and had a couple of nasty corns on them to boot. He swayed precariously as the cerulean sky lurched nauseatingly before him. In short, he was done for. This was a challenge greater than any he had faced before, either as a warrior or as the Castellan of Mordant; and he failed; miserably. He fell forward and retched out the bitter bile of his loss. Loss, and much, much more. A gentle voice spoke: ‘Be not distressed. Diamondraught is not for the faint of heart, and none can drink it as a giant can, my friend. Take heart in that amongst men, you have drank your share and more. Many songs will be sung of your foolishness this night’. It was Saltheart Foamfollower. Or at least it was one of the Foamfollowers he saw; he couldn’t be sure, but he thought it was the middle one. As Darsint passed out, he noted with satisfaction that he at least puked all over Hile Troys’ boots, and as Hile leaned over to clean them off his sunglasses fell off. Muttering menacingly, Hile sucker punched Covenant; who jumped up to retaliate, screaming 'Hellfire! Troy, you bastard; what do you do for an encore, steal children's lunch money?'. Immediately, Covenent tripped over the flaccid form of Darsint and fell hands first onto the Staff of Law carelessly left on the ground by Lord Kevin, who was totally landwasted. Upon contact with the staff, the white gold exploded, killing seventeen Ramen and knocking over Morn Hyland; who was immediately raped by Nick Succorso. Of course, this pissed off the Ranyhyn, who had just took a timeout before kicking a field goal, and they wanted their Gatorade and Amanibhavam, or whatever the hell that grass was called. Well, it was all gone, stolen by Hobbits that were smoking it in the distance with Gandalf and whatever Lord that wanted to become a High Lord. Anyway, the ensuing melee was too confusing to describe, but suffice it to say that Darsint woke up in the hospital with a really bad headache and a hoof-like indentation on his chest plate.
That's hilarious! Where did you post that?
"Persevera, per severa, per se vera." Persist through difficulties, even though it is hard.
Proud Member of THOOOTP.
Buy my best friend's fantastic fantasy book! Pulse is also available here.
AjK, I read that book when I was 14 or 15; it definitely had an impact on my life!
Turns out 'Unlimited Crossover Madness' is in Sci-Fi/Fantasy, but I still can't find the original post. Fortunately I did find it a few years back and copied it into my Hall Of Gifts thread, which is how I was able to put it here.
EDIT: I finally found it, here in the Mordant's Need forum.
Dandelion don't tell no lies
Dandelion will make you wise
Tell me if she laughs or cries
Blow away dandelion
I'm afraid there's no denying
I'm just a dandelion
a fate I don't deserve.
dANdeLION wrote:AjK, I read that book when I was 14 or 15; it definitely had an impact on my life!
LOL. Me, too. Some of my high school friends & I had just read Lord of the Rings and loved the series, but Bored of the Rings was absolutely hilarious. The scene at the Inn in which he buries the sword into the pig had me laughing for 10 minutes straight.
]
Nice take on an old classic.
* 
