At Intermission: Top News Stories from The Land

[SGuilfoyle1966]

Council of Lords OKs tax increase

Stonedowners and Woodhelvinnin across the land will pay an average $40 more in taxes in the next fiscal year.
The council of High Lord Vailant gave final approval to a 20-mill tax increase at its meeting Monday night.
"Nobody likes a tax increase," Vailant said through a spokesman. "But we're still dealing with the effects of the desecration. We still have smoking pits of lava, soil that won't produce crops, deserts where forests used to be. Don't get me started about Kurash Plenethor. It's just a mess."
Vailant was quick to point out that the crisis in the Land occured long before his term of Lordship began.
"This was waiting for me the day I took office," he said.
Vailant was quick to say the tax increase, while seemingly high, wasn't that big of an increase.
For a Stonedowner living in a hollowed-out boulder appraised at $50,000, the 20-mill increase means a $40 increase in his tax bill.
"That's just $3.33 a month," Vailant said. "That's a couple of crispy chicken sandwiches at Wendys and a coke."
Spokesman for "Don't Tread on Me," a tax relief group in Gleam Stonedown, spoke strongly against the increase.
"Vailant has no other plan other than to raise taxes on the hardworking people of the Land," said Todd Sarah-mate. "And we're not going to take it anymore."
Others said the tax increase was needed and objections from the Gleam Stonedown area should be taken with a grain of salt, given that the crystal-encrusted territory was spared most of the ravages of the Desecration, and has one of the highest property values in the Land.
"This tax is on the value of your dwelling," Vailant said. "So if you're making by living in a cave, you'll be paying less than the example we gave. Someone living in a three-bedroom house made from several large slabs fused together by teams of gravelingas will, of course, be asked to pay their fair share."
Todd Sarah-mate decried the tax also for lettting Woodhelvin off the hook.
"They live in tree cities, communally," he said. "They're renters, mostly, and renters don't pay taxes like the hard working people of the land do."
Vailant said Sarah-mate's claim was untrue.
"Rental and commercial property is assessed at a higher rate than owner-occupied dwellings are," he said. "Renters don't pay it directly, but the Forestals are being taxed, just like anybody else, but at a higher rate.
"We all know how, umm, stern the Forestals can be," Vailant said. "Do you expect me to believe that Caerroil Wildwood is not going to pass on the increase to those in his trees.
"Todd Sarah-mate should be ashamed of setting up such an attack on those who are not as well off as he. Now is not the time for partisan politics."
The council announced Vailant would embark on a Land-wide publicity tour to explain the tax.
"I'm taking my case directly to the people of the Land," he said. The Council of the Lords also unveiled a slogan for a publicity campaign.
"20 mills, so that beauty shall not pass utterly from the earth."

Mystery man pleads guilty
Amok, 1,507 years old, no known address, pleaded guilty to trespassing in a cemetary and was given time served.
At the time of his arrest, the creature, thought at first to be a very young man, was arrested at the edge of the Plains of Ra. He suddenly appeared out of thin air, dug up Kelenbrabanaal and was laughing at him, according to an incident report.
The original charge of desecrating a grave was reduced to trespassing to get Amok to plead guilty.
Lord Thall, who acted as judge, accepted the recommendation of a prosecutor, who said that given Amok's ability to appear and disappear at will, it was best to detain him. Amok agreed to leave the Land and not come back, except under one condition that was revealed to Thall in chambers.
Asked before he left why he was tormenting a dead Ranyhan, Amok said, "Been alive for 1,500 years, and, well, you get bored with the same old, same old. Anyway, toodles."
Cannor, one of the original 500 Bloodguard, when asked for comment on the case, just stared at a reporter until she left.

[spoonchicken]

[quote="Ur Dead"]Flash: This just in.

Lord Kevin and Longwrath caught in shouting match:
Each one claims their version of "Slay her" is better.

...hmmm...Slayer? I always liked Judas Priest better myself

[Ur Dead]

Linden blames desecration as a Foul deed.
Swordmadiens entranced by manly visages in Andelain.
Harachui Stave keeping an eye out on Linden, Manethrall Mahrtiir blindly follows.

[SGuilfoyle1966]

badoom chi.
Thank you folks, i'm here till next Thursday. Try the veal.

[Shuram Gudatetris]

Linden gives up search for Jeremiah: "He never loved me anyway."

Wow. That's evil.