Kevin's Watch

My Dad and his buddies called me "Sixteen Tons" when I was 2--after hearing the song, not sure I totally dig...

Sunbaneglasses wrote:When I would spend the night with my grandparents my grandfather would tell me that if I was loud after everyone else went to bed that the Zillaboo would come in the house and get me. According to my grandfather the Zillaboo looked like a giant skunk with a head at both ends. According to him it was always angry because due to the fact that it "could not shit" and had 4 ears due to the 2 heads which led to it not liking loud noises. Yes, I know that's messed up.

OMG. I'm stealing that!

from dear ole granma to daddykins infront of all us kids.." oh go shit in your hat and punch it!!"

Damelon wrote:

"Don't sit on cold cement, you'll get hemorrhoids."

I used to get that alot!

My mum's best one, which we still get loads of mileage out of, was 'you only think you.....'

me: I'm cold
mum: you only think you're cold.

me: I'm tired
mum: you only think you're tired

me: I want to go out
mum: you only think you want to go out

me: I like him/her/them
mum: you only think you like him/her/them

Her other saying that I had NO idea what it meant was 'you're not old-fashioned enough'. Looking back I think it meant I was gullible/honest/un-street savvy.

"I can't wait until you grow up."

Here I am, 21 and still acting the same i did 10 years ago.

A friend of mines father said to him as his only bit of career advice when he was a teenager "Find something that you like doing and try to make some money at it". I think this was fantastic advice for a youngster starting out on the jouney toward thier career - all that was needed. (Incidentally the guy became a photographer for Time-Life.)

I forgot how great some of the ones people shared here are.
And here's some more...


My Dad:
"Put your money where your mouth is."
"You're doing yourself no favors."
(these probably showed up in the 3rd person more often than in the 2nd person, though!)

Me or my sis: "I'm TRYING!"
My mom or my dad: "Yeah, your trying, alright - your trying my patience!"

My Mom:
"When two vowels go a-walking, the first one does the talking, the second only walking!"
"'i' before 'e' except after 'c'."

When my dad asked his mum what was for dinner she would say

"a jump at the door and a bite of the latch" although in her broad Cheshire it must have sounded like "a joomp at dooer and a bite o't'latch".

My mum's answer to me saying "but everybody else does" was "if they put their head in the oven would you?" This was over me not being allowed to wear stockings until I was 13 when every other girl in my class was allowed to (probably) and makeup!

My Grandpa: "Pull my finger".
He was the first person that ever did that to me.

My wife's father, just after we got married. "The secret to a long marriage is to sneak up behind her at least once a day and grab her boobs." They were married 61 years when he passed. I saw him do it countless times at family gatherings. They had 7 kids, so I guess it has something going for it. My wife disagrees, but we're going on 31 years anyway.

My dad loves the quote, "we stand on the shoulders of giants."
We heard it a lot growing up.


Edit: 'a lot,' not 'along.'

My mama says, to get things done: you better not mess with Major Tom...

"not enough room to swing a cat"

"driving like a bat out of hell"

I'm trying to find aliantha's one quote from, I think, a grandma... it was about not focusing on what one's doing.. I've found it useful.

With my Mom's recent passing, we tossed around some of her favorite sayings. She was fond of the "swing a dead cat" thing too, as in "We went to the music festival and you couldn't swing a dead cat without hitting an old hippie". Every time I swing a dead cat I will always think of Mom.

To someone who putzes along in traffic: "Whaddya waiting for, an engraved invitation?"

When someone wouldn't make a decision: "Sh*t or get off the pot, already"

"That place is going to hell in a handbasket"

deer of the dawn wrote:With my Mom's recent passing, we tossed around some of her favorite sayings. She was fond of the "swing a dead cat" thing too, as in "We went to the music festival and you couldn't swing a dead cat without hitting an old hippie". Every time I swing a dead cat I will always think of Mom.

To someone who putzes along in traffic: "Whaddya waiting for, an engraved invitation?"

When someone wouldn't make a decision: "Sh*t or get off the pot, already"

"That place is going to hell in a handbasket"

I would've liked your mom a lot. I've been known to yell at meandering drivers, "Pick a lane!"

(While squiring danlo and his daughter around DC last summer, I happened to call another driver "honey". "Honey?" inquired danlo. To which I replied: "It beats what I could have called 'em." I've been known to use "sweetie," "sweetheart," etc., in the same way. )

Linna, the only one I can think of was one of my mom's sayings: "If it isn't in the head, it's in the feet." In other words, if your brain's not engaged, you'll forget what you were after and will need to go back for it.

my mother-in-law

"shit fire and save matches"

That's odd, sarge.

My mom had a lot of odd sayings. None of which I can remember at the moment.

sgt.null wrote:my mother-in-law

"shit fire and save matches"

I've heard that. I also heard Steven Tyler add "**** a duck, and see what hatches."



--A

aliantha wrote: I would've liked your mom a lot. I've been known to yell at meandering drivers, "Pick a lane!"

(While squiring danlo and his daughter around DC last summer, I happened to call another driver "honey". "Honey?" inquired danlo. To which I replied: "It beats what I could have called 'em." I've been known to use "sweetie," "sweetheart," etc., in the same way. )

Linna, the only one I can think of was one of my mom's sayings: "If it isn't in the head, it's in the feet." In other words, if your brain's not engaged, you'll forget what you were after and will need to go back for it.

Good one!
Stag and I have an ongoing joke, when Arabic TV commercials come on and are particularly annoying; we yell "Learn English!" at the telly. It works for us.

aliantha, you must be from the South. I've heard all about the "bless your heart" thingy.

Julie's Mom -

Charge it to the Rain and Let the Dust Settle It.

Only Jackasses are Positive.

That is POD Mean. (we have no idea what POD means.)

My sister or me at the dinner table: "May I have ______?"
(where that is some kind of food we have on hand. Or ketchup. Or bbq sauce. Or salad dressing...)
My dad: "What kind of a restaurant do you think this is?"