Kevin's Watch

1) You have a Gandalf tattoo on your chest.
2) You fail your history exam because you thought the Civil War was fought in Rohan.
3) You sit in the corner muttering "Me precious"

You go into a store and you see a mirror. You immediately start muttering *spells* and then you try to jump through the mirror portal.

You go into the museum's dino section and you start screaming,
"Dragons!!!! There be dragons afoot!!!!"

You find youself shaving with a bloody penknife. Hellfire!

You wave a stick around and say, "Behold, I wield the Earthpower!"

You own robes in every shade of ochre.

You scoff at the people on fantasy tv who don't sound British. After all, any good fantasy-type person sounds British.

You insist that everyone who enters your office must first pass the lomillar test of truth.

You go on a quest to find the One Tree. You're in a fishin' boat. On a river.

You keep throwing your dad's jewelry in volcanoes...

You bring your teacher mirkfruit instead of apples.

Has anyone mentioned stuffing dirt and mud down your open flesh wounds?

Nah, we were too busy thinking up clever things like stuffing dirt and mud down your open flesh wound.

You keep a backpack on hand, packed with food and clothing, so that when Gandalf, or Allanon, or Moiraine, or Name Your Wizard, shows up with his Only You Can Save The World schtick, you'll be all ready to go...

You wrap your sandwiches in maple leaves.

You challenge people to sword duels in the gift wrap department...

When you ask for directions, you want the distaces in leagues and furlongs.