where do the turtles think the carrots come from?

Post by **Dread Poet Jethro** » Sun Apr 07, 2013 7:05 am

In the Null's honor
Since their anniversary
Is coming up soon:

What a Pear we make!
Lettuce be married, if you
Carrot all for me...

Post by **sgt.null** » Sun Apr 07, 2013 9:12 am

Dread Poet Jethro wrote:In the Null's honor
Since their anniversary
Is coming up soon:
What a Pear we make!
Lettuce be married, if you
Carrot all for me...

thank you Dread Poet!!!

I am honored...

Post by **High Lord Tolkien** » Sun Apr 07, 2013 12:39 pm

I want pics of these turtles please.

Post by **sgt.null** » Mon Apr 08, 2013 5:33 am

High Lord Tolkien wrote:I want pics of these turtles please.

well the prison frowns on photography...

Post by **peter** » Wed Apr 10, 2013 8:23 am

I imagine they think the carrots are the product of a multi-billion year process of minute genetic mutation overlaying a system where execess progeny production competing for limited rescources results in the gradual divergence of groups into those best suited to occupy given and specific niches in the biosphere.

Post by **High Lord Tolkien** » Wed Apr 10, 2013 11:31 pm

sgt.null wrote:
High Lord Tolkien wrote:I want pics of these turtles please.
well the prison frowns on photography...

You work at a prison for turtles?????
Man..... Texas is rough.

Post by **ussusimiel** » Thu Apr 11, 2013 12:00 am

u.

Post by **sgt.null** » Thu Apr 11, 2013 6:13 am

High Lord Tolkien wrote:
sgt.null wrote:
High Lord Tolkien wrote:I want pics of these turtles please.
well the prison frowns on photography...

You work at a prison for turtles?????
Man..... Texas is rough.

excellent post!!!

I worry who will feed the turtles on my vacation.

Post by **deer of the dawn** » Thu Apr 11, 2013 3:17 pm

sgt.null wrote:
High Lord Tolkien wrote:
sgt.null wrote: well the prison frowns on photography...

You work at a prison for turtles?????
Man..... Texas is rough.
excellent post!!!

I worry who will feed the turtles on my vacation.

Yes, their faith is at stake!! They'll think that Whoever is "up there" has forsaken them!! They'll decide He is either carrotless or rootless.

Or maybe they'll go back to grubs and leaves, like before.

Post by **peter** » Thu Apr 11, 2013 3:44 pm

You don't have a little soup production buisiness going on the side do you Sarge.

Post by **High Lord Tolkien** » Thu Apr 11, 2013 4:44 pm

deer of the dawn wrote:
sgt.null wrote:
High Lord Tolkien wrote:
You work at a prison for turtles?????
Man..... Texas is rough.
excellent post!!!

I worry who will feed the turtles on my vacation.
Yes, their faith is at stake!! They'll think that Whoever is "up there" has forsaken them!! They'll decide He is either carrotless or rootless.

Or maybe they'll go back to grubs and leaves, like before.

Sarge will come back to find a few turtles on their backs, victims of a ritual sacrifice to their green haired orange skinned tubular God.

Post by **sgt.null** » Thu Apr 11, 2013 6:28 pm

you people are aWful.

their turtle king will return...

Post by **Dread Poet Jethro** » Thu Apr 11, 2013 6:32 pm

"Turtle King Returns"
Post in Hall of Gifts that wins
Sarge's next Watchy

Post by **sgt.null** » Fri Apr 12, 2013 2:38 am

Dread Poet Jethro wrote:"Turtle King Returns"
Post in Hall of Gifts that wins
Sarge's next Watchy

challenged accepted!!!

Post by **Dread Poet Jethro** » Fri Apr 12, 2013 3:33 am

Not a challenge, Sarge
You've proven your poet chops
Just a muse's nudge

Post by **sgt.null** » Fri Apr 12, 2013 4:42 pm

I'm Roy Downs author of Wisdom of the Turtles: Ten-Something Minutes of Unseemingly Important Decisions.

I am a forty-four-year-old high school dropout and unconvicted felon. I was born and raised in New Hampshire, where I still do not live today and sell copies of my books on eBay for a living. I spend my free time playing video games, doing mediocre sketch art, playing guitar (badly), and thinking undeep thoughts. Since any idiot can spit out a book, let me just say that it is this idiot's hope that just one random person will read this and make a real and spiritual change to his or her life. Despite the random and sometimes crude humor in this book, I hope one or more persons will learn through my testimonial message that Turtles are the way, the truth, and the light to a better life and a better eternity.

About my latest book, Wisdom of the Turtles: Ten-Something Minutes of Unseemingly Important Decisions.

For author Roy Downs, a thirteen-year stint working in a prison gave him ample opportunity to reflect about life, his past, and his mistakes. It also gave him the chance to read some books, learn about turtles, and turn his life around. In this memoir, Downs candidly talks about the insights into his life experiences and discusses how those experiences shaped him into becoming the man he is today. Wisdom of the Turtles shares details about his family and his upbringing and interweaves learned principles into the lessons he's gleaned from his future. In addition, he provides commentary on a variety topics from raising vegetables, keeping a job, spending (or not spending money), and dealing with yesterday's technology. Using stick-figure cartoons, Downs not only pokes fun at himself as he relives his past, but also supplies the mental and spiritual tools to help understand and interact with others. The messages communicated in Wisdom of the Turtles provide lessons to better cope with life's challenges.

Post by **aliantha** » Mon Apr 15, 2013 12:24 am

I tell you what, Sarge, I've seen book blurbs on Amazon that make less sense than this one. Bravo!

Post by **sgt.null** » Mon Apr 15, 2013 1:29 am

aliantha wrote:I tell you what, Sarge, I've seen book blurbs on Amazon that make less sense than this one. Bravo!

the Turtle King is pleased.

Post by **Cameraman Jenn** » Mon Apr 15, 2013 2:02 am

Do you remember Lady Tam's turtles at the last Elohimfest? They were so cute. And don't worry, my dad says turtles are creatures of habit so they will take a long time to stop coming to check for treats.

You are the Turtle King, You can do... anything.

Post by **shadowbinding shoe** » Mon Apr 15, 2013 6:17 am

You should organize a turtle-movement among the inmates. Soon, carrots will be flying from every window and turtle-utopia will be reached.

Kevin's Watch

Kevin's Watch

where do the turtles think the carrots come from?