Kevin's Watch

Soooooo Vraith, if Av also got the vibe, your prediction will have come true. Astonishing to say the least

Hahaha, I read them before I read any of the comments. Guess what...I thought "highschool hip-hop" when I read the first one.

The idea of the second was not bad, but didn't manage to pull it off I thought.

Overall, a resounding "no" from me.

--A

It's unanimous, then. And I hope this gave all y'all who write poetry some hope for your own work.

like this? please, rate me from -10 (I wanna puke) to 10 (be my guru) passing thru 0 (meh)



so, when the dreams came back
me fallen asleep in some other city
lost all over dinner with other people
lost for air under another sky as in

turning and cowering at the break of day
unlike before, you were not about to leave
unlike before, nobody stood lurking in wait
at the kitchen door, in wait to carry the bags

but waking up to a foreign, future otherness
differently grey, differently daunting now that
you were to stay forever behind, in my reverie
unlike then, no longer, no other asleep at my side

asturias
11.VII.2013
(variation 1.22)

7. Maybe 7.5

--A

Avatar wrote:7. Maybe 7.5

--A

no shit?

Avatar wrote:7. Maybe 7.5

--A

it has an good beat and you can dance to it...

and I miss this thread because of work.

sgt.null wrote:

Avatar wrote:7. Maybe 7.5

--A

it has an good beat and you can dance to it...

HAH...funny cuz I wouldn't rank it as highly as Av did as poetry...
but when I read it, I thought it would make pretty good verses for a song.
something moody/minor, sparse percussion, arpeggiated acoustic guitar [probably with fair amount of reverb and fade-away delay]...

You got me. I was in a band for quite some time

I liked it.

--A